Named such because if you come to visit us in the springtime you can check out anytime you want, but you can never leave. Unless you have a four-wheel-drive vehicle.
Seriously. You might get in if you're lucky and you come real early in the day while the ground is still firm. But if you stay for more than one cup of coffee you might as well finish the pot and plan to stay for dinner.
The whole neighborhood knows they can't visit the Pipe Lifers in the spring unless someone calls and asks "how's your driveway?" and we give the all-clear. The one good thing about it is it's like one giant science experiment for the kids. Why is our driveway always so muddy in the spring? Where does the water eventually disappear to? What kind of fun little creatures can we find living in the muck? How much can I make my sister scream if I splash in this puddle with a golf club?
Fun lessons aside, 10 years of this annual mud bog is enough. Mark my words, the driveway will be upgraded by fall 2010 before the snow flies again.
Stevie, sweetie, are you reading?
Somebody do me a favor and call him in September and ask him how the driveway upgrade is going, OK?
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