I am "unstuffing" my life.

I have decluttered. I have minimized (sort of). I have gone through my belongings with a fine tooth comb and gotten rid of just about everything I didn't use or love or want anymore.

But I have never "unstuffed" my life. Until now.

When I saw a group of friends chatting on Facebook about how they were following a plan outlined in some book, I was skeptical. Listen, I've read all the books. OK, many of them. I'm a self-improvement book guru. There can't possibly be a book or blog out there that says anything radically different than what I've already read about strategies to simplify your life.

In a sense, that's true. Andrew J. Mellen's book Unstuff Your Life has some of the same suggestions I've read elsewhere. But there is something about how Mellen presents the questions he insists we answer about how we relate to our "stuff" and how it makes us feel that somehow takes this idea of "I'm not my stuff, my stuff is not me" to another level.

Exhibit A: The stuff that is leaving my home after spending a few hours yesterday unstuffing the kitchen.

Now, that's a pretty big box for someone who thought she had a grip on kitchen organization. (Except the clock radio, which I've been meaning to get rid of for a while.)

It may be Mellen's writing style that drew me in - how he addresses the reader as if he is a friend on the other end of the telephone line. "Go get a notebook and a pencil and write this down. Do it. I'll wait." That kind of thing.

Or it may be the season of life I am in; I only thought I had been brutal when decluttering in the past. Now I'm seriously getting down to business. What's different now is that I am ready. I have no use for things - stuff - in my life that do not bring a smile to my face or add to my life in some other way. So as it turns out, this book came along at just the right time for me to make the most of it.

I haven't even read the whole thing and I would already recommend it. And if you decide to try it, I would suggest downloading it to your computer (via Kindle for PC or a similar program) or straight to an e-reader (if you have one). Saves on clutter that way.

I'm taking Before & After pictures to share with my fellow unstuffers. If I get brave maybe I'll post a few here too as I go through the process.

Maybe.

Enough already!

People, PLEASE!! For the love of God and all that is holy, please stop giving my children writing utensils!

I knew it was bad but I didn't know just how bad until I found myself searching for something to put all the markers and pencils and colored pencils and crayons into and when I found a boot box (not a shoe box, a boot box) I thought "OK, this should be big enough."

Seriously?!?

I know pencils with your logo on them are a cheap and easy gimmick for your business. I know the dentist would rather give out pencils than candy for Halloween. I understand pencils are a fun way for Mr. Politician to get his name out there during the Independence Day parade. And I appreciate how the Easter Bunny knows that parents would much rather find a Happy Easter pencil stuck under the couch cushions in June instead of a handful of jelly beans.

But you don't understand. I can't throw all these pencils away! I am a (somewhat quirky) writer-type who appreciates office supplies of all kinds. I love few things more than sitting down with a new notepad and a handful of freshly-sharpened pencils or my favorite style of pen. And I do it all the time but somehow I am still drowning in a sea of Merry Christmas and Happy Halloween and Hoekstra for Congress and Hartrum for Sheriff and Emergency: Dial 911 and Only You Can Prevent Wildfires and Kindergarteners Are Awesome! and Have Your Home Tested For Radon and about a bazillion others.

See?

 

And this isn't even all of them.

I must apologize to all the banker/insurance man/drug sales rep folks because unless your pen was one of the coolest things I've seen in a long time and comfortable to write with it didn't make the cut and went straight to the trash. I also tossed any pencils that didn't have an eraser or that didn't pass my "I like my pencils this long" test. As you can see, we still have enough writing utensils to last this family of four until the year 2053.

So please, if a holiday or other special occasion traditionally calls for gifting candy, feel free to give my children candy. I have no qualms about eating throwing away old candy. But pencils? I love them. I can't bring myself to toss a perfectly good pencil. We just don't need any more of them. There is a ridiculously large supply stashed in every logical place in the house.

Now ... finding a pencil sharpener around this place? That's a different story. Can't somebody make pencil sharpeners with your company logo on them?

This is why we can't have a hamster.

 

Because it would get lost in this mess and die and start to stink.

But the stench might kinda' blend in with the preteen boy's room.

Look. There are things I don't kid about and this is one of them. When I say my children's rooms are so disastrous I trip over things every night when I go to tuck them in, I'm not exaggerating. (I did say this to someone recently so I'm just providing proof.)

And seriously, this is why we can't own any animals smaller than cats. If you look really closely on the right-hand side of that pinkish pic up top you can probably spot Whiskers The Cat curled up on Rachel's bed.

So guess what we're doing this weekend?

Hint: we're not getting a hamster.

Protip: Textured appliances are a no-no.

I want to know what idiot at GE designed this surface-like-elephant-skin refrigerator. A man, probably. Or a woman who has never had children or cleaned a textured surface. I hope they got fired.

Yes, we bought the thing. But I will claim ignorance, as I only knew it was white like we wanted and a side-by-side like we wanted when we ordered it. Who really gives much thought to the refrigerator when you're buying a house? As long as it keeps things cold and the freezer keeps things frozen and it's the color we want, who cares?

I care now. I cared this morning when I was scrubbing orange polka dots off the side of said fridge and wondering when we last ate or drank anything orange. Kool-Aid? Jell-O? I'm just going to lie to myself and say that somebody spilled their Orange Crush last week and never cleaned it up. Work with me here. Because if I really think about orange Kool-Aid it takes me back to about ... oh ... August. And I'm just not ready to reveal to the world that I haven't wiped down the side of my fridge in six months.

Well. There you go.

I don't remember the last time I wiped down the cupboard doors in the kitchen either, but that got done today, too. It would have gone a little longer if I hadn't sat down on Rachel's step stool in the middle of the kitchen floor during a rather lengthy phone call yesterday. Let's just say I should look around from that vantage point more often. Eww.

So, I believe my spring cleaning kick has officially begun. At this rate if I keep moving through each room of the house I'll be done by the time spring is actually here and then I can go outside and play! I can't help but feel pretty good about myself, too, because a clean and orderly house is proof that I actually do something during the day while my husband is off working to allow me the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom. Steve doesn't give a flying leap about the house as long as I'm here when he comes home, but I sure enjoy being with him a lot more when I'm not distracted by those piles of paper on the dining room table and those cobwebs up in the corner.