When the message smacks you right in the face.

Some weeks ago a friend posted on Facebook asking if anyone was interested in a Bible study based on the book "7" by Jen Hatmaker.

I jumped. Not only have I been craving a little more time spent in and studying The Word, but this part-time journalist/full-time mama and homemaker could really use a regular date with a few other adult women.

Fast forward a few weeks to now. I dive into 7 and I am immediately convicted.

I'm laughing, because Jen Hatmaker is hysterical and I adore her girl-in-the-next-pew, nobody's-perfect style. I am devouring the book. But I am also stopping every few paragraphs, going back and re-reading, reflecting on my own life, my family's consumerist habits and the very basic things we take for granted like all the clean water we could want and a warm, secure place to sleep at night.

(Go ahead. If you haven't already, Google Jen Hatmaker. I'll wait.) 

Reading this book now is perfect timing for me. Steve has been off work since the week of Thanksgiving, and probably won't be starting his next project until after the first of the year. This wasn't unexpected. We knew he would have some time off this winter, and I actually looked forward to having him here at home through the holidays.

Even when it's expected, though, is it ever really a good time to be unemployed (read: without a steady income)? And listen. I am the kind of girl who needs the threat of that looming deadline to get my butt in gear. I try to sock money away all year long for occasions such as this, but it seems like about the time we have a good chunk in the savings account the wheels fall off. Sometimes literally. Repairs on pickup trucks are expensive, and pickups are what we have. Household repairs aren't cheap, either. Home ownership is not for sissies ... or anyone who gets a little anxious when the numbers don't compute the way you want them to. *ahem* And don't even get me started on the expenses of raising children.

So when Steve came home we knew we'd have to go into survival mode, trimming the fat clean out of the budget and making every penny count. He did apply for unemployment benefits which equal about the same amount per week that he was earning in 1995 - when he was single and childless and still lived with his parents. It's at least a nice supplement to the last paycheck that will roll in this month, and all together it will be enough for us to make it to the next paycheck - whenever that is - well-fed and with our sanity (relatively) intact.

But what if it wasn't enough?

Seriously?! (Now I'm talking to myself.) How could we EVER not have enough?

I know there are folks living in poverty all around us. I know many go without food and shelter on a regular basis for reasons out of their control. I know that if I were in their shoes looking at me and my family I would think we were wealthy. Sadly, I often get stuck in the mindset that we are not.

As Jen H. explores in the book, I too often struggle with the "why" of my lot in life. Why am I so fortunate to have been born in the richest country in the world? Why have I had such a wonderful life, never knowing what it's like to go hungry or to not be able to see a doctor when I'm sick? It makes me a little bit ashamed of where we are right now, today: watching Monday Night Football on a large screen, kids tucked into their comfy beds, my bare feet not cold at all despite the chill outside, refrigerator packed with food, some of which will no doubt be tossed in the trash because half the members of this household don't like leftovers.

Yes. We occasionally throw food away because we can't eat it all before it goes bad or starts growing fuzz. This is not ok!!

And this is why I'm feeling convicted. We need to be better stewards of the resources we've been blessed with always, not just when we're feeling the squeeze. AND (and this comes from yours truly, Ms. Pare Down and Simplify herself) we need to stop filling every little empty space in our home and in our souls with stuff. If we busy ourselves filling those gaps where's the room for God to do His work in us?

It's definitely something to ponder, and I have been giving it much thought these last few days. Well ... our "more is more" lifestyle  - and that's a collective "our" as in "Americans" - has been on my mind a lot lately, especially with Christmas coming up, but Jen's book is pushing me to examine my own family's habits a little more closely.

I'm halfway through the book. Who knows, I could end up hating the idea of her experimental mutiny against excess by the time I get to the end. I doubt it, though. I'll keep you posted.

The thing about grace.

I love the analogy I read on another blog this morning: (paraphrased) Some days are smoother than others; yesterday was like sandpaper.

Bingo.

A series of events over the past few days - little things - have got me in a tizzy. Each thing no big deal on its own, but all together a burden so heavy my heart aches from the emotions of it all.

I stay up late to chat with Steve about it and then I'm overtired.

The kids feel ignored and I think all my work is unappreciated.

I try to squeeze one more purchase out of this paycheck and then I'm over budget.

The laundry piles up. The dog won't stop barking. This broke. Something smells funny. The cat prince howls to be let out. Then in. Then out. Then in. Then to be fed. Then out again. The house plants are dusty. "Mom! She won't stop coming into my room!" Favorite pens get lost. The sewing machine doesn't work. It's too cold in here. We all overslept. It's hot in here. Nobody likes to try anything new for dinner. I moved a shelf and something fell on my head (I have a mark on my forehead to prove it). "Mom? Can I have a party for my birthday?" I can't find the box of Kleenex I just opened. The library books are overdue.

But. BUT!

It turns out the public library extends some grace to those who overlook their due dates. "These are late and I'd like to just pay the fine," I said.

"There's a three-day grace period," she tells me. "You're good. No fine."

Grace!

That's the thing about grace. The days when you think surely you don't deserve it, you still receive it. And it's a two-way street; the times you think you can't possibly muster the grace to offer someone else, somehow you do and you both feel better for it.

Do you know I just about skipped my way out of that library yesterday? All over not having to pay a 30-cent fine. Because after a crummy day just the smallest act of grace was a major bright spot. It made me happy. And it reminded me that I could show grace to others in very small ways that might mean the world to them.

Something to think about.

I am "unstuffing" my life.

I have decluttered. I have minimized (sort of). I have gone through my belongings with a fine tooth comb and gotten rid of just about everything I didn't use or love or want anymore.

But I have never "unstuffed" my life. Until now.

When I saw a group of friends chatting on Facebook about how they were following a plan outlined in some book, I was skeptical. Listen, I've read all the books. OK, many of them. I'm a self-improvement book guru. There can't possibly be a book or blog out there that says anything radically different than what I've already read about strategies to simplify your life.

In a sense, that's true. Andrew J. Mellen's book Unstuff Your Life has some of the same suggestions I've read elsewhere. But there is something about how Mellen presents the questions he insists we answer about how we relate to our "stuff" and how it makes us feel that somehow takes this idea of "I'm not my stuff, my stuff is not me" to another level.

Exhibit A: The stuff that is leaving my home after spending a few hours yesterday unstuffing the kitchen.

Now, that's a pretty big box for someone who thought she had a grip on kitchen organization. (Except the clock radio, which I've been meaning to get rid of for a while.)

It may be Mellen's writing style that drew me in - how he addresses the reader as if he is a friend on the other end of the telephone line. "Go get a notebook and a pencil and write this down. Do it. I'll wait." That kind of thing.

Or it may be the season of life I am in; I only thought I had been brutal when decluttering in the past. Now I'm seriously getting down to business. What's different now is that I am ready. I have no use for things - stuff - in my life that do not bring a smile to my face or add to my life in some other way. So as it turns out, this book came along at just the right time for me to make the most of it.

I haven't even read the whole thing and I would already recommend it. And if you decide to try it, I would suggest downloading it to your computer (via Kindle for PC or a similar program) or straight to an e-reader (if you have one). Saves on clutter that way.

I'm taking Before & After pictures to share with my fellow unstuffers. If I get brave maybe I'll post a few here too as I go through the process.

Maybe.

You had me at 'Free'.

I love you, Barnes & Noble. I loved you before, but my cup overfloweth when you sent me an e-mail alerting me of your on-line sale.

Buy two, get one free.

On bargain books.

With free shipping.

There is one thing on this earth I love more than a new book, and that is a new book purchased from the bargain bin and shipped right to my door. Heaven!

I suppose I could have ignored the e-mail like I do so many others from retailers, but summer is coming and I look forward to plucking a book from the stack on my way to the beach or on vacation. Even sitting outside on the deck, feet propped up, with a book on my knees is luxurious to me. I plan to do it a lot this summer.

So I bought six books - three hardcovers and three paperbacks - for $26 and change. That's basically the retail price of one current bestseller. And at less than $5 per book it's cheaper than a combo meal at Burger King and (depending on the company) much more entertaining.