A rare quiet morning.

I'm enjoying this Saturday morning of quietness. It's the first day in what feels like forever that I have nothing on my calendar - no commitments, no place to be. So I'm sipping my coffee and making plans to attack what's left of Mt. Laundry (after I already did a few loads last night) and try to make some order out of the chaos that is our house lately.

I love my new job. As I've told friends recently, the work is not life-altering. I'm not changing the world by processing people's water bill payments or answering questions about citywide trash pickup, but I am making a difference in my own little world. I'm making a (small) contribution to our family finances. I feel a sense of purpose. I'm teaching our children that mom has a life other than the one she's been focusing on them all these years (in other words, you'll have to learn to get yourself out of bed in the morning because I'm busy). I'm learning to manage my own time a little better.

It's just 20-ish hours a week, four days a week, which is just enough to push me to be more productive in the hours I am at home. And to appreciate those hours with my family, and in this home I love.

Steve is getting settled in back at work, too. After having him home for a few months and over the holidays, it's taking some adjusting. But we're making plans to visit him over spring break, which will be nice. I will welcome the change of scenery.

We're finally getting a glimpse of the end of winter. Every few days temps reach up into the 40's, which is enough to melt a little more snow. The roof of the house is clear now, but most of our yard is still covered with more than a foot of snow, all heavy and packed so hard we can walk on top of it. Yesterday it rained, and then last night snowed just enough that there was a dusting on the deck when I woke up. I am so over this winter. I've been looking at garden boards on Pinterest and flipping through my spring magazines, making plans for when I can finally get out there and work the soil. This week I picked up a small seed starter and planted some tomato seeds - I can't wait to have some GREEN around here! And I have other projects I'd like to tackle, too. Mostly furniture pieces that need to be taken outside and sanded so I can paint or stain them. I know ... patience. I've never been good at that.

I also want to finish some blog posts I've had hanging around over the past month. I think of something I want to share, start a post, and then get distracted. Story of my life. So ... while I'm waiting for the ground to thaw out, maybe I'll get some of those up.

Think spring!

Back to the grind.

You'll all be happy to know we have survived two full days of school and we are no worse for wear.

At least I don't think so.

The weather has been nice - perfectly fall-like - and I have been busy tackling stuff I put off all summer while we were gallivanting all over God's creation pretending like the laundry would do itself and summer would last forever.

Summer's over, people. OH. VUR. (I'm saying this to myself and my children as much as anyone else.)

And sadly, there is no laundry fairy. Hmph.

So while we all adjust to earlier mornings again and the kids settle into their school day routines, I get back on task here at home. There is much to do. It's no wonder I always felt frantic when I was working full time and the house was chaos. Now I'm here all the time and trying to do all those extra little home maintenance things that got put off because we never had time. Oh, and some fun stuff too. And raise a coupla' kids and a few animals and some fresh tomatoes along the way. And write. Because writing = breathing for me, and breathing is important.

Also important: daddy! Steve is going to be home for the weekend and I can hardly wait. If I could keep him locked up at home and all to myself I would, but the likelihood of that it pretty slim. And that would be pretty selfish of me anyway.

I have a bunch of pictures from summer that I had intended to share, but in the interest of ... well, keeping things interesting ... I'll just post a couple of my favorites.

 Checkin' out Endless Caverns in New Market, Virginia.

Cool cavern pic.

Seriously, it was amazing.

 Pretty farm view. Just because.

This is what I picture in my mind when I think of Virginia.

 The kids taking in the view at one of the stops along the Skyline Drive in Shenandoah National Park.

Butterflies and bumblebees. They were everywhere at this particular overlook.

My loves.

 

The story of my life. Blurriness and all.

I don't know why, this picture just cracks me up.

So there you have it - a glimpse at how we spent much of August. I have missed blogging and I'm happy to have a little more time to get back to it regularly now. Lots of little things I've been wanting to share just so I can remember them myself in a year or twelve. Onward!

Because J said so.

I need to blog. Because my buddy J says so.

I think every writer needs that one person in their lives who isn't afraid to say, "Hey, get off your ass and write something." I know I sure do. Even if it's a rather meaningless blog post, I need to go through the motions of writing something on a regular basis, or before I know it it's been so long that I start to believe I have nothing to say, and anybody who knows me knows that's not true.

So here you go, J. Thanks for the nudge. Dork.

Truth be told, I have been needing to get off my arse in general. I've been feeling like crap lately. And I'm talking a big ol' steaming Jurassic Park-style pile of poo. And when I feel like poo, and on top of it the universe hands me a few rainy, dreary days in a row, it doesn't take very long for me to spiral downward toward the Pit of Despair. Fortunately I have an awesome husband who will drag me out of that spiral kicking and screaming (or wailing and whining that it's just easier to do nothing than to pull myself up by the bootstraps), and a few friends who seem to know - whether they realize it or not - just when to intervene.

We have begun the process of figuring out what's causing my respiratory issues (that I wrote about in my last post). I've been to my family doctor; she didn't see anything freakish. She did see lots of allergy-related irritation in my nose, and something in the back of my throat that needs a closer look. I've had a chest x-ray which came back normal. I now have an appointment with an ENT to check ... er ... deeper into my ears, nose and throat. My doc suggested I might have damaged vocal cords. I googled the symptoms of damaged vocal cords and I think it's definitely a possibility. We shall see.

Meantime, I've also been dealing with some back and neck trouble. Because it isn't enough that I feel like I can't breathe half the time, I also have to walk around feeling like there's an ice pick or two stuck between my shoulder blades. I know ... I'm a wreck. Next week I'm getting a massage in the hope that it will give me some relief. Like a lot of moms, it's not easy for me to schedule that time to focus on myself, but I really need it. If it helps, this will be the first of many visits to the masseuse.

Who feels like she's 80 years old? Is it Pipe Lifer Jen? Dear God. If only I had the wisdom to go along with it.

And that's all there is to say about that for now.

Steve is home this weekend, which is nice. He's down to the last couple of weeks on his current project and then ... who knows? I would love to have him home for a week or two when this job is done before he heads off to the next adventure, but we continue to take things one day at a time.

The kids are busy as ever. Rachel just started basketball practice this week and will have games on Saturdays. Sam has one more football game next week (hoping the team will stay undefeated), and he started Saturday bowling league today. I'm still not sure how I'm going to get everyone where they need to be at the right time on the right days, but that's another task we take one day at a time.

Other than that? Not much going on. Just lots and lots of everyday stuff, really. We've had some work done on the house - new doors put on the front and back (happy!), and a broken rafter (eek!) repaired.

So ... we're here. We're livin'. At the speed of light sometimes, but that's how it goes.

Tonight it feels good to just sit with my hubby and watch the Tigers in the post season. We're headed to church in the morning, and will hopefully have a relaxing afternoon before Steve heads south again.

I leave you with a couple of pet pictures - because they're the only ones I've been taking lately. Gunnar is growing like a weed and has hit the sassy teenager stage. Patch The Kitty ... well, he's just fun to mess around with.

Until next time ...

Quick update.

I'm here! I feel like I have really neglected my blog lately - which mostly means family and friends who don't see my occasional posts on Facebook might not be as up-to-date on the goings-on of the Pipe Lifers as when I am blogging regularly. For shame.

Well. The business of life continues. Big highlight: Sam shot a beautiful 9-pt. buck during the youth hunt weekend here in Michigan. I will pick it up from the meat processor next week, and will take the head/hide to a taxidermist. We decided to have it mounted for him - Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas for like, the next three years, kid! OK, not really. But close.

And here's the "Pipe Life" part of the story ... Steve made arrangements to come home and take Sam out hunting over the weekend, but they didn't have any luck. Steve had to head back to Detroit Sunday afternoon, but Sam still had the opportunity to hunt that evening. His Uncle Tom took him out, and that's when Sam shot this deer. I was (and still am) so happy for our boy, but gosh I sure wish Steve had been here to be a part of it, and to see this beautiful deer. Especially since the same thing happened last year, except I was the one with Sam when he took his 4-point. Ah well. Thank God for e-mail and texts and the good ol' telephone.

In other news, Gunnar the puppy is growing like a weed. He is in that puppy "teenager" stage where his legs are long and lanky and he hasn't quite grown into those big ears. His fur is getting shiny - losing that puppy fuzziness - and he is so handsome. Smart, too. Almost too smart for his own good. Some days it's a darn good thing he's that cute. *ahem* And he and Ladybug are getting along splendidly.

A rare "still" moment.

Rachel has started another busy year of Girl Scouts (her Troop will be walking in the Homecoming parade tonight) and is looking forward to signing up for a rec basketball league soon. Sam is halfway through football season (he would want me to mention his team is 3-0) and while he's not getting as much play time as he would like, he is learning a lot about the game, about working together as a team, and his overall health is improving with all that activity.

There's so much more to mention but I said quick update, so I'll stop there. It's Friday and I have errands to run and stuff to do. Enjoy your weekend!

Clean Slate Sunday: 9.16.12 edition

Here we are two weeks into the school year and I'm finally getting a handle on the whole routine again. Last week I had something going on every day in addition to having to pick Sam up from football practice every evening and attending his game on Wednesday, and by Friday night my brain and my nerves were fried. Fortunately we had an easy weekend and I was able to spend most of it at home catching up on a few things I had neglected during the week. Shoot, I didn't even get out of my pajamas on Saturday.

Now it's Sunday night and I am rejoicing in the calm and quiet. When the kids went to bed I turned off the lights and headed to my room, too. I have one dog snoring at the foot of the bed, a cat snuggled up next to her, the puppy asleep in his crate in the corner, and me with clean sheets and PJ's and my laptop. And peace.

It's been a while since I've done a Clean Slate Sunday post, but I would like to get back into the habit. Sunday nights have historically been one of my favorite times of each week - a time when we settle in early, prepare for the week ahead and look forward to new beginnings. My CSS posts began as a way for me to review what I had accomplished over the past few days and make a plan for the coming week. I need at least that much structure in my life. Planning is good. Lack of planning, not so good.

So I'm looking forward to the week ahead. It will be busy, but the calendar isn't quite so crowded as it was last week. I'm happy I will have a little more time to be at home taking care of business, doing some cleaning, and lots of puppy training. We're working on the basics right now: sit, stay, come, down, that kind of stuff. And continuing housebreaking, of course. It's been interesting doing all this with the puppy while still trying to accomplish some of those basics with a stubborn old hound dog who still has terrible manners. (Not for lack of us trying, either.) But for the most part it's great having two dogs in the house. They have become fast friends and they play and play and play until they wear each other out or we put them in separate corners, which is what usually happens. Only because we get sick of the barking. Because apparently chasing each other around the furniture, playing tug-o-war with toys or terrorizing the cats isn't enough. We must also make noise! Aye yi yi. We're working on teaching them to use their inside voices. But there again, we've been trying to get Ladybug to stop barking when told to for four years now. So far? FAIL. That whole hunting/barking thing is pretty deeply engrained in that one.

Anywho, I've been trying to get a picture of these dogs roughhousing over the past couple of days because they look so stinkin' funny. Gunnar pulls his lips back and shows those vicious puppy teeth, and Ladybug basically pins him to the floor by the neck. He pulls a sneak attack and nibbles at her hind legs, so she whips around and chases him until he squeezes into the space between the back of the couch and the wall (which will be impossible - or at least much tougher - for him in a couple months). I got a dozen pictures with two black-and-tan blurs, a couple videos with lots of barking going on, and this:

The panting puppy with crazy alien eyes, poised to defend himself against the howling hound.

It's a pretty accurate picture of our days lately. It's like the canine UFC around here. Last pup standing gets the peanut butter-filled Kong. Or something like that. Fun times.

Elements of a mighty fine summer.

We have not had any grand adventures by most people's standards, and - as my daughter keeps reminding me - our summer days are flying by all too quickly. But each day there is something - some small moment that is what I would call an element of the perfect summer.

Life is chaotic at best. It's a good chaos. We try to pack so much into these days and make them memorable while still getting the stuff of everyday life done. Bills must be paid, laundry must be done (occasionally), house must be tidied up (eventually), various appointments must be kept (regular check-ups with doctors and dentist, but also the hair, people ... we must not let the pool water ruin our hair). And in between all of that - or despite it (and seriously, could I use more dashes or parentheses to interrupt my thoughts? I talk this way, too, lately. Ask anyone.) - we somehow manage to have loads of fun and I find quiet moments to ponder life's ... well ... to ponder life.

The kids and I have traveled to Ypsilanti (MI) to hang out with daddy a couple times. I've been down there once by myself. Heaven, that was. I did a little solo shopping on my way there. And back. My kids are older now but shopping all by myself still feels like a privilege. And I don't even like shopping all that much.

We were there in Ypsi (call it "Ip-see" or "Yip-see" ... nobody cares) for the 4th of July, which was different for us because we missed our neighborhood get-together and fireworks party for the first time in, like, ever. But it was nice to be together as a family and to create some new memories: all four of us swimming and laughing together in the lake at the campground, going to bed early and then me and the kids quietly slipping out in our jammies to watch the fireworks being shot off all around us.

The kids. Summer is really all about them, isn't it? It's their break from school and they want to pack in as much fun stuff as they can. Sam is currently away at his second week of summer camp. The first week was at church camp and this week is at a youth camp just down the road from home. I'm so glad he enjoys it ... and frankly, he needs the time away from his mama and sister to be a boy and make friends who are boys and do boy stuff and hang out with some good male role models. I have had some memorable moments with Sam this summer for sure, but I think what I will remember most is how I have begun to look up to him - literally - when I talk to him. He is 13 and on the cusp of becoming a man in so many ways. I pray regularly that I am up to the task of being the mom he needs me to be. I do love who he is today and who he is becoming. And I love those mornings when I look up from whatever I am doing in my gardens and he is there, and we talk.

And Rachel. Our little spitfire. She helped me plant my veggie garden and planted her own flower garden for cut flowers. We are learning together. This week while it's just us girls we are redecorating her bedroom. The girl knows what she wants, and that includes purple, teal and white paint. And peace signs. Pictures? Oh yes, there will be pictures. I think what I will remember most about this summer, the summer of Rachel's 10th year, is how she continually cracks me up with her wit. Sometimes she means to be funny, other times she's just saying what's on her mind. It might get her into trouble occasionally, though mostly it's harmless and in good fun. But oh, it is a glimpse into how quickly her mind works, and that? Is rather frightening. In a good way.

When I think about what we have done this summer (which is only half over, by the way) I think of afternoons spent floating in the pool when both the air and the water were 80-some degrees. I think of standing in the dollar store and trying on the god-awfullest blinged-out sunglasses and laughing with Rach and her Aunt Sue. I think of exchanging thoughts with a friend about a book we've read that turned out to be the perfect reading material for this season in our lives. I think of cool mornings standing on the patio sipping coffee and watering my garden(s).

Oh, my gardens. I have gotten so much joy from my gardens this summer. They really deserve their own post with pictures, and I'm going to do that soon. But I can tell you all the work I put into creating this space for myself - for my whole family, really, but we all know who enjoys it most - was well worth it. The gardens are always works in progress, and that's part of the fun. There is always something to do, but nothing so pressing that I can't sit and enjoy a visit with a dear friend and listen to the bees buzzing around the squash blossoms or the hummingbirds zipping up to the petunias for a drink.

Summer is a busy time for pipelinin' and that means I don't get to see much of my husband. We sure do enjoy the times we are together, though. That old saying, "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is spot on. And when we're not together ... when I am here at home, or at the campground in our travel trailer waiting for Steve to get done with work for the day, I praise God in Heaven for this life. I am truly in awe over how He has orchestrated our lives to give us everything we need and then some. Those "elements" of a perfect summer? Sometimes they are those fleeting thoughts that make me smile while I'm washing dishes or packing bags for another road trip: my husband, willing to do what it takes to provide for his family and allow me to be a homemaker; his texts and e-mails just to say "good morning, have a great day, I love you;" his suntanned face. Sometimes they are tangible, like the new gun and box of .22 shells Steve brought home last weekend, and the fun we all had doing some target shooting.

It might be half over, but that means we still have plenty more summer to enjoy before the kids hit the books again. I'm here! I haven't abandoned my blog! But for as much as I love writing and recording these precious moments, if I have a choice between sitting and writing or wandering outdoors to check the green bean plants or to jump in the pool, the plants and the pool - and the kids - will win every time.

OK, almost every time.

Here's hoping you find joy in your day today. I'm going outside to play.

Catching up ...

Ha! Oops. I had a Clean Slate Sunday post started to tell y'all what a nice day I had and to wish all the mamas out there a happy Mother's Day, but I never got it finished or posted.

I think I went to bed early Sunday night. I know I went to bed early last night. Something about all the fresh air I've been getting, and all the manual labor - between gardening and tinkering around the yard at home and picking asparagus with the neighbors - my days have been full and I've been lucky to get the kids tucked in before I fall asleep myself.

But I did have a nice Mother's Day. And I hope all the moms, grandmas, aunts, and honorary mamas and caregivers out there did, too. Today, as my gift to my mom, I took her to lunch and then we went and got pedicures. It was a fun afternoon. It was also my first professional pedicure, and danged if I didn't smudge it by the time I got home. Pfft! But it was so worth it. I may never paint my own toenails again.

Bright toes ... flowers in bloom ... butterflies flitting around the yard all day ... summer is definitely on the way. I'm ready. This morning I sat outside, soaked up some sun and chatted for a couple hours with a dear friend. This afternoon Rachel helped me plant green beans (her favorite!) in the garden. The sky is starting to rumble ... rain is on it's way. These are the days I love.

Snow and rain and ice, oh my!

OK, that sounds kinda' dumb, but that's about what's going on today. The kids are home from school because it rained all night, hence there is a layer of ice on top of all the snow. Where there is not ice there is heavy slush. Bleh.

So we all got to sleep in, which was great. Because remember my dog Ladybug? Who freaks the heck out when the weather changes? Yeah. She was pawing at her crate and yelping at me at 2:20 this morning. So I got up and took her out in the rain so she could do her business ... and then stare at the rain. You would think a dog would want to curl up in her little den and pretend the world outside can't get her. But no, she wants to be out in it so she can see what's coming. I guess. It's like having a newborn with that middle-of-the-night business. And remember how sleep is one of my favorite pastimes? Yeah. Homegirl does not appreciate the 2 a.m. wake up call.

Alas, I still planned to get all kinds of stuff done around the house today. And then school was called off and I thought, "Great! I'll have extra hands to help me!"

Right. Let me describe the scene to you now.

Everyone is still in their pajamas. Elder child is on the couch munching on granola and watching Top Gear on BBC America. Younger child just stuck a giant star tattoo on the top of one foot and is now "dusting" a kitchen chair with a damp washcloth. Every few minutes she says, "Who else could I sell cookies to?" (She's a Girl Scout and taking orders for cookies, if any local readers are interested.) I keep telling the boy to turn the television down and thanking God I don't have to get out of my sweatpants today.

It's a rousing time here with the Pipe Lifers. Time to shake things up and get to work!

Have a great day.

Shopping day!

I have been too busy to post this week, but don't cry for me Blogland because busy is a good thing. My daylight hours have been filled with gift wrapping and baby sitting and a load of laundry here and there ...

Wait. No. No laundry. I think I might have made dinner the other night, though.

No worries. Steve has been filling in those gaps splendidly. He is particularly a great cook which is half the reason I married him. Ha!

So today I have nothing scheduled which means I need to make the most of my last day sans children. And that means shopping. I'd rather wrap 100 more gifts. (And people, that's saying a lot because I have wrapped just shy of three billion gifts this week.)

But wait. Most of what I buy today will need to be wrapped. Drat.

After today the kids will be home for the holidays and we'll be baking cookies and playing games and watching It's A Wonderful Life and if you believe it will be all fun and games I have a bridge somewhere in the desert to sell you.

No playing in the snow, even. 'Cause there is none. I've put in a request for a white Christmas, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. We live in Michigan, it's not too much to ask really.

Snow or no, we're gonna' do our best to enjoy the next couple of weeks together. Let's hope a vacation from school means the kids will sleep in. I can dream, can't I?

Have a great Friday, everyone! Nine days 'til Christmas!

Savoring small joys.

Yesterday I had every intention of writing a post, but I opened my laptop and then just sat here staring at the screen. For a long time.

I'm fighting this emotional funk that threatens to suck the happy and content right out of me ... and I'm employing every resource I have to keep it at bay. Christmas music playing, our colorfully-lit tree glowing, cinnamon-scented candles burning, a mug of something yummy in my hand (great coffee, special hot chocolate, or a fizzy Diet Dr. Pepper, depending on the time of day), household tasks - the few things in life I can control - under way. I've been using a lot of this quiet time during the day to have some pretty deep conversations with God, too. And it still seems like more work than it should be.

Part of it is just my body's chemical makeup, and I know that. When the skies are grey and gloomy like they were yesterday my mood often matches it. Proof: today the sun is shining brightly and I'm much more active than I was yesterday when I loafed around most of the day and went to bed early.

We can't control the sun. Sometimes we can't control our circumstances. But I strongly believe that most of the time we can control our own attitude, which some days can make things a little brighter.

It can be the smallest thing that makes a difference. Yesterday, despite feeling like there was a black cloud hanging over me, I had a few moments of sheer joy which I so appreciated. One of them was enjoying the scent of freshly laundered clothes - MY clothes. The smell made me happy. The stack of clothes reminded me that even though I have a limited wardrobe these days, I still have choices. Another of those moments was wrapping a gift for a friend's birthday. It's nothing big - something I saw during my travels over the summer that reminded me of her - but I found some pretty paper and pulled out my scrapbooking supplies to make it a cute little package. It was fun. I got some creative juices flowing and it felt good to complete a task, even one so small. I've learned to savor those moments.

I have a feeling it will be my task in the weeks ahead to have more good days than not-so-good days. It might require some effort and a lot more hot chocolate, but it will all be worth it.

Now I think the sunshine is calling my name. We have precious few of these beautiful days left before the snow comes back with a vengeance, so I'm headed out to enjoy this one.

Rejoicing!

We have so much for which to be thankful!

I'm sorry if I kinda' left y'all hanging after my last post about my father-in-law, but I'm guessing most folks who read my blog also find me some other way - like through Facebook or church or e-mail or whatever. Anywho, the great news is dad came through surgery just fine and as of this afternoon it sounds like he might be home by tomorrow evening.

Can you imagine? Brain surgery, and then home just four days later. Whew.

And I'm laughing at myself a little because I said he did "just fine" but I can tell you Friday was one of the longest days of my life. The whole process was not without its hiccups, and dad certainly isn't completely out of the woods yet, but the surgery to remove what the doctors are pretty certain were cancerous tumors from his noggin went very well. We were able to see him Friday evening after he woke up and it was such a relief that he recognized all of us and talked and laughed with us. He even cussed a few times, which I told him he had a free pass on for a few days. Because of the location of the tumors there was a concern that he might lose his speech and/or ability to understand speech, so I didn't care what he said, and neither did anyone else ... it was just so good to hear him speaking.

The past week has been hectic and I'm exhausted - physically and emotionally. And for as much as I love turning the clocks back and gaining that hour of sleep again, I despise it getting dark at 5 o'clock in the evening (or whenever it gets dark now ... much sooner than I'm ready for).

So, I've got some catching up to do around here and a few blog posts rolling around in my head I'll try to get written over the next few days. In the meantime I'm basking in the blessings we've been showered in recently. Praise God.

Changin' things up.

So Blogger, where I created this blog, is rolling out a bunch of new stuff. I left my blog alone for a long time, kind of appreciating the simplicity of it. Now I'm ready to change it up a bit.

I've tried some different background photos and templates and different numbers and widths of columns, photos here and widgets there. I think I'll be tweaking it for a while 'cause I haven't gotten to that point when I could sit back and say I really loved it. I am far from a blog designer (and perhaps I've mentioned my lack of patience?) so this is an interesting challenge for me.

What I do like and will keep around are those new page tabs up top that tell you a little more about us. This blog is not solely about any one thing, rather it's a journal of our days which can include a little bit of everything - home improvements, kids' shenanigans, random thoughts, gardening progress, cooking trials and errors, and a whole lot more. It's just me, reflecting on this unconventional way of life that is being married to a pipeliner.

So, faithful readers, thanks for hanging in there with me. New folks - welcome! Grab a cup of coffee and have a look around. Let me know what you like or what you'd like to see more of.

Thanks for stopping by!

SPIDER! (**shudder**)

I am not a fan of spiders.

At. All.

I do, however, appreciate their handiwork.

Which is why I am willing to traipse through weeds as tall as I am to get THISCLOSE to a giant spider (and her mega web) to snap some photos of how said web caught the heavy dew this morning.

Pretty cool.

Yes, for the love of a good blog post I will now feel creepy crawlies all over my body for the remainder of the day, thankyouverymuch.

Enjoy.

 Really. If I haven't lost you yet, you must click on one of these bad boys to enlarge it and get the full effect.

The whole web is about 2 feet across and is at about the height of my rib cage. (Ew. Can you imagine if I had walked into it? GAH!)

See the squiggly line coming down from the center? Google "writing spider" or "zipper spider" and you can learn all about this creature.

 Doesn't it just make you wanna' toss a moth in there?

No, I didn't.

'Cause if that sucker had moved I'da been screamin' like a banshee all the way back to the house.

Spiders: useful for eating bugs out of my yard, and for pretty pictures and fodder for my blog. That is all.

**shiver**

Approaching a new year.

We were just coming to the end of our last big out-of-state vacay when I caught a blog post in my reader that made me smile. Tsh over at Simple Mom wrote about how the beginning of a new school year is like a Second New Year for parents.

As she often does, Tsh expertly put into words how I feel about the start of the school year. It's a time when I look forward to sharpening up (or reviving) our routines, doing more home-cookin' from scratch, waking up early to enjoy the quiet morning hours (OK, I know I'm not fooling anyone into thinking I actually get up early. Ha!), and enjoying the change in seasons when we swap out our shorts and t-shirts for jeans and sweaters.

Our kids start school on Tuesday. I already feel a bit behind the 8 Ball in a few areas - like, poor Rachel has a very limited wardrobe to get started with after a major growth spurt this summer. And I'm not really (not. at. all.) excited about having to set the alarm clock again. But in other ways I can't wait to get back to focusing on ... well ... focusing on us.

I could do without the inevitable battles over homework. I'm not so much a fan of some of the things my kids hear on the school bus. And our traveling to visit daddy is, of course, limited during the school year. But oh, I do love having the time during the day to do whatever needs doing - working on our budget, making appointments, creating meal plans, doing the grocery shopping, housekeeping, and little home improvements here and there. And sometimes? Whatever I want to do.

I won't lie. This has been the best summer ever with my kids, and for a while there I dreaded the thought of going back to early mornings and the whole day-to-day school thing. But these past few days I have come around and now I am so ready. The kids and I spend so much time together I will be happy to have the peace I crave during the day. I look forward to enjoying a morning cup of coffee on the patio in the cool air while I watch the sun come up. I'd like to spend a little time on myself again - exercising, writing, reading, DIYing, cooking/baking ... all the stuff that tends to get pushed aside when we're focusing on the kids and making sure they have a memorable summer.

We have a holiday weekend ahead of us. Steve will be home later tonight and we're sure going to enjoy the next three days as a family. And then? Diving right into a new school year. Happy Second New Year!

I'm in love with The Graphics Fairy.

Ever stumble upon a web site and immediately fall in love and think "how did I not know this existed?!?"

No?

Perhaps you don't surf as much as I do. No matter.

I found one of those awesome-where-have-you-been-all-my-life web sites last night.

Check out The Graphics Fairy when you have a minute. Make that many minutes. If you have a particular interest in vintage-y looking stuff and you're looking for some help with an artsy project, you might want to set aside an afternoon.

Seriously. It will suck you in. I've already been going a little crazy with the virtual bookmarks this morning, and I'm not even into the "vintage" look. But I'm finding all kinds of cool stuff to print out and use in a little display I'm pulling together for a wall in our front room.

It has a butterfly theme. Sorta.

I'm having a hard time deciding between this piece with the gorgeous butterfly wings and this piece with the gorgeous butterflies and moths and some fat ol' caterpillars. I'm leaning toward the second one. But oooooh, there are so many others to consider and they're all free(!!) and so easy to print off to create instant art!

I'm gonna' need more ink.

I'm wallowing.

After giving my friend B the rundown of what a crazy week we had last week, and then whining because this one had gotten off on only a slightly better note, B sent me this in an e-mail:

"Here's my unsolicited advice: after celebrating Rachel's bday, take a few more days and wallow, nap, etc. then, when you are so tired of it all, declare it over."

And that was just what I needed to read.

My friend B (I should give her a blog identity ... like Bertha ... or Beatrice) has been incredibly supportive, not just through recent life events but through ongoing struggles of parenting and attempts at self-improvement.

While I sat at my dying grandmother's bedside, B would send me e-mails (that I would pick up on my cell phone) with words of encouragement or humor, never expecting a response but making sure I knew someone was thinking of me right that moment. It meant the world to me.

So now, having gotten the permission I felt like I needed to do ... well, absolutely nothing ... I am wallowing.

I went back to bed after I got the kids off to school this morning and now I'm having a brunch of M&M's and Diet Dr. Pepper and some yogurt-covered pretzel balls carefully plucked from the bucket o' snack mix I bought last weekend. I'm tired and emotionally spent. Yesterday was my daughter's birthday and thank God I have amazing in-laws who made dinner and had cake for her - and the rest of us. We had celebrated over the weekend with a movie and meal out at Rachel's choice of places, but it's not the same as having cake on your birthday and I didn't even have the energy to go to the bakery and pick one up.

See? I have children to tend to and regular stuff that needs to be taken care of, so no matter how many people tell me to take it easy for a few days, it's hard to do just that. But I know eventually B will tell me to "suck it up, Buttercup!" and force me to put the M&M's away and get on with it. And I will. But today? And probably tomorrow? I'm wallowing. And that's that.

~ ~ ~

I need to say thank you. Thank you to all my friends and family who have prayed for us and sent good vibes our way and who called and sent messages via blog and e-mail and snail mail. It's been a week since grandma died and I promise I won't be writing about her forever but no matter how much we prepare for it - how ready we think we are - it hurts to lose someone we love. I feel like a piece of my heart is missing and it will take some time to figure out how to fill that empty space. Or to just live with it.

Anyway, thanks for your support. It's March now and spring is just around the corner and I'm inspired to do some sprucing up around the house. As soon as the wallowing is complete the fun will begin again.

Back in the game.

Ha-lle-lu-jah!

I picked up my new laptop this afternoon and I am way more excited than a person should be about any one technological device.

The fact is, I rely heavily on my computer for a lot of things from budgeting and on-line banking to storing and retrieving all kinds of digital information to keeping me company (and sane) through streaming music and social networks during the day when the kids are at school. I use the Internet to look up recipes, garner inspiration from music videos, look up Bible passages while I read my daily devotions. I post here and read a handful of other blogs each day. I check my son's grades and homework schedule on-line. Steve and I keep in contact throughout the day via e-mail and text.

And for nearly three weeks I haven't had any of that.

Wait. I could send and receive texts, and could at least check e-mail on my cell phone, but service at our house is spotty at best and I could never be sure whether my e-mail responses actually made it out to cyberspace, much less to the intended recipient. My apologies to anyone who expected a reply from me over the past couple weeks but never got one.

I'm still figuring it all out - starting from scratch adding all my "old" stuff onto this new computer and tweaking all the settings to my preferences. I had my old laptop for almost three years and it's amazing how technology has advanced so much in that amount of time. I'm excited about exploring it in more detail when I don't have kids hanging over my shoulders asking if they can check out the webcam.

Several times these past few weeks I really missed the opportunity to sit down at the keyboard and share my thoughts with the world. I'm so glad to be connected and able to do that again. Boy, do I have lots of catching up to do.

Technical difficulties.

Argh.

My computer has been out of commission for ... well, since the last day I posted here on the blog.

Today I finally decided she is too old to put any more money into, so I asked my computer guru to recover my files (which thankfully he was able to do) and quote me a price on a new laptop.

Blah.

I did not want to buy a new computer right now, but it has become one of those conveniences of life that I would just rather not live without. Like a microwave. Or a dishwasher. Do we need them? Not necessarily. But they're sure handy to have around.

So hopefully sometime in the next week I will have a new setup. Until then, I'll take advantage of the lack of distraction and finish up a few things I've been working on around the house. I've been getting a lot more reading done lately, too, which is always a good thing.

By way of update for my regular readers, I should mention that my grandma is hanging in there with us. She's weak, becoming more confused as time goes by, and this week started seeing people who weren't really there - or at least we couldn't see them. But for several days she was doing well enough that my parents and aunt and uncle felt comfortable going back to Florida, so for now I'm back to being the primary contact for her.

According to the weather man we have a heckuva storm coming our way in the next few hours. School has already been called off for the kids for tomorrow, and I will welcome the chance to sleep late in the morning.

I see hot cocoa and homemade cookies in our future.

Here's hoping I'm back in business and posting regularly again soon.

Quality wins.

This post I read this morning over at Remodeling This Life was very timely for me. Emily writes about readers of her blog judging her based upon the type of cookware she has stacked on her kitchen shelves.

Forget about the judging part. We're all human and I think we all make snap judgments - however large or small or frequent or occasional - based upon the things we see people have or do. I'm not saying it's ok to judge, but that's a post for another day.

What I appreciated about that post today was affirmation of the idea that spending a little more for quality items does not make us any less aware of where our dollars are going, and certainly, simply owning items that retail for hundreds of dollars does not make us any less frugal or our lives any less simple.

We have become quite adept at finding bargains at Goodwill, garage sales, and through gifts and hand-me-downs. Yet over the past couple of weeks as the mail lady dropped off several L.L. Bean packages at our house, I couldn't help but feel that twinge of guilt, that nagging thought that maybe I should have looked harder at the thrift stores for some winter outerwear that would suit my children, and I perhaps could have saved hundreds of dollars on these items.

I spent more than I ever have on coats, snow pants and boots for the kids this year. I spent so much I'm embarrassed to even think about the total. But ya' know what? I likely won't have to do it again next year. More times than not, quality wins. And I'm fine with spending a few more dollars to purchase items that will last my children - who play HARD outdoors in the winter - for a minimum of two years (and yes, everything was purchased just a littlebit big) and they will still be nice enough when my kids outgrow them to pass along to someone else. Our experience with L.L. Bean has always been positive. Every item I have ever ordered from the company has been pure quality and worth every penny. The kids aren't always happy with this because it means they don't get a new backpack for school every year, but who cares? If the Bean backpack can take the abuse my son doles out, it deserves another year or two of service.

I also chuckled a little when I read Emily's post because just last night I posted on Facebook that I am in dire need of new pots and pans and I wondered if anyone had seen any Black Friday ads with wicked good deals on them. Our pots and pans have been in bad shape for some time, but I have put off buying new because I want to get really good ones that will last forever, or close to it. This might be the inspiration I need to start shopping!


FYI, I love L.L. Bean, but L.L. Bean has no idea who I am, aside from a happy customer with a debit card and two growing children.

Ack! I just gotta' say it: nobody's perfect!

I appreciate a quiet Sunday afternoon when I can catch up on some of the blogs I follow, hoping to spark some creativity, see what friends and fellow writers have been up to, or sometimes just get lost in someone else's world for a while.

Inevitably I click from a blog I know and love to one on their reading list that looks interesting, and so on and so on. What a fun way to work my way around the world from the comfort of my own home!

But occasionally my journey into other's lives causes me to log off and smack my laptop shut in exasperation. I see perfectly-lit pictures of beautiful, clean homes and happy, organically-fed children, and I read about how they fill each day with fun and educational activities. It's all about love and hugs and rainbows and fuzzy little kittens.

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?!? Nobody's life could possibly be that perfect.

My name is Jane. I school my children at home and I feed them only foods we grow in our back yard, sans chemicals. I support baby-wearing and I abhor spanking. My husband is a genius and an entrepreneur. We never speak a harsh word to each other in any of the three languages in which we are fluent. We don't own a television. We have no debt. Our children don't know who Hannah Montana is. We make our own furniture and milk our own cow. Look at my beautiful home!

Seriously? Hhhhhhh.

There was a time when I would have been a little jealous of Jane's seemingly wonderful life and might have even tried to be more like her - the her in the snapshot she posted on-line, anyway. Now I just sorta' lift an eyebrow. Just a little. I don't judge Jane, but neither do I assume that her children have never thrown temper tantrums, her husband loves his job, Jane lives caffeine-free, and she has never been embarrassed by the state of her home when company stops by unexpectedly.

If her life really is that way? Well. Then more power to her. It sounds exhausting.

The fun thing about blogging (and the Internet in general) is that we can present only the aspects of our lives we wish to share. We can stage our photos. We can skip blogging on our crappiest days and write twice as much about the best days. We can make our lives look as perfect as possible. Or we can use our space in the blogosphere as a place to dump all the drama and share all the frustrations of life. I try to land somewhere in the middle.

I use this blog as a sort of journal and even though I haven't been at it very long I look back on my previous posts and remember the good days, bad days, ugly days, and yes, even the seemingly perfect days. My life is about striving for ... I don't know ... goodness. Peace. My family's happiness. But it gets messy sometimes, and I'm OK with you seeing that because messiness keeps me humble. Messiness is real.

My friend B is forever reminding me, "progress, not perfection." Pretty good words to live by.

I can't help but think some people spend so much time polishing the facade that they forget to live the life, and that's a shame.

That's all. I just had to get that off my chest. I feel better now.

Oh, and chances are if you are reading this, my imaginary character Jane does not represent you. Jane is all those people whose real names I don't know but whose perfect photos and children and spouses and homes are just too sugary sweet for my taste.

Now I'm really done. Off my soap box. Carry on!

And for heaven's sake, enjoy the journey. It can be imperfect and beautiful at the same time.