The gift of Clarity.

**big exhale**

Road trips have a way of helping me find my bearings.

Even though I love this place we call "home," while I'm away from it I tend to gain a little perspective ... a fresh view (that perhaps I'd lost over the longest. winter. ever.)

My adventurous spirit craved a change of scenery, a warmer climate, time spent with friends who speak with just a hint of a southern drawl. It was just what I needed for spring break this year, and lucky me! The weather timed things perfectly so that we missed the last of the snow showers while we were gone and the snow was almost completely melted from the yard by the time we got back.

While the kids and I were out in West Virginia visiting Steve last week we fell asleep to the sound of the peepers each night and woke up to birds singing every morning. It was heavenly. And sure enough, we're hearing them here at home now, too. Bliss.

This time around, despite the kids getting in a large helping of bickering during the days we didn't leave the campground, I came home feeling refreshed and with a renewed - or strengthened, maybe - sense of purpose. I have struggled over decisions made and directions chosen, but lately I feel like we're on track. I pray often for guidance - as a wife, a mom, a Christian, a friend, a steward - and while there is always room for improvement, today I have a sense of peace.

Dunkard Creek, near our campsite

We got some great family time in during our visit. We ate dinners together. The kids and I went shopping at the mall one day and Rachel finally got to spend her birthday money. I met up with and had a great visit with my girlfriend, Heather. One rainy afternoon Rach and I got hot cocoa and coffee and went on a book binge (lots of summer reading material!). We did a lot of chilling out, napping, reading (me), playing video games (the kids), and just enjoying the break.

My loves.

(This photo pretty well defines how different they are.)

 Camp chickens!

The girls were hanging out right around our trailer when we got there the first afternoon. Steve joked that he had them brought in specially for me, because he knew how much I'd love it.

 I did enjoy watching them scratching around all week!

Rachel enjoyed some quality time with our buddy's Basset Hound, Daisy.

Sweet ride, Sammy.

I'm always sad to have to leave Steve, but at the same time I leave happier because I have been with him. Back here at home I smile at some of the memories we made during this trip, and I look forward to being together as a family again when Steve comes home for Easter.

In lots of little ways I am continually reminded of what is important in my life - what is and what should be. And I am forever grateful that I am able to share my life - however unconventional our lifestyle may be - with these people I adore.

Of Memorial Day and hittin' the road.

It's Memorial Day. I find it hard to express the gratitude, the love, the appreciation I feel for the people who have served our country and lost their lives in the process. That is the ultimate sacrifice ... and the most humbling gift.

We did not attend any Memorial Day services today. We had a quiet day at home. But my mind went back to my trip with Rachel to Washington, D.C., last year. It was so touching to see the war memorials and to be there among so much history. It gave us an even better appreciation for those who serve our great nation.

At the Korean War Memorial.

Thank you.

***

  

Completely unrelated to Memorial Day, I've been having a rough time lately. Somewhere north of being in a funk but not quite feeling myself. I wish I knew what was making me feel this way, because I feel like if I knew what it was I could fix it. Certainly it's a little bit of missing Steve. And some days I'm a bit busier than I'd like to be which gets me all discombobulated, yet the times when I have nothing going on I feel like I should be busy and my brain starts filling the silence with all kinds of junk.

Today I kept my mind and my body busy with clearing out and rearranging my closet. I tried on all my clothes, threw away a few pieces long past their prime and set aside a stack for Goodwill. Why do we keep clothes that don't fit us? For YEARS? I decided I'd rather have the space. I also decided it's time to invest in my wardrobe a bit. I don't need much, but I think I could find a handful of quality pieces to round things out and make me feel a little better about myself when I'm out and about. I'm gonna' keep my eyes open during my travels this summer when I am closer to really good shopping.

Ahh, summer. The kids have six more days of school left, then we're freeeee! I am so looking forward to heading east to spend some time with Steve. I wanna hit the road, have a change of scenery. I'll have a little taste of it this week when I head to Indiana to visit a friend. It'll be a quick trip - just two nights away - but it will be travel time sans children, adult time with a couple of people I adore (and haven't seen in far too long), and a chance to see something other than these four walls I'm livin' in. I do love my home and my family, but there comes a point when I get a little stir-crazy and ready to do something different. I will miss all of it while I'm gone, but I will enjoy the time away.

In the meantime, I made brownies. Isn't that what any slightly-less-than-sane gal would do when she's feeling antsy? And what a shame, the kids don't care for them. (I think the almond extract the recipe called for makes them taste wonky to the kids. I happen to love it.) Guess I'll have to eat the whole batch all by myself.

Or should I say ... the rest of the batch. *ahem*

 

Washington, DC: Part II

Gosh, I didn't realize it had been so long since I last posted! What can I say? It's summer, and we're busy, busy!

We had such a great time. I feel so blessed to have had the chance to go to DC with Rachel and have that mommy/daughter time with an awesome group of Girl Scouts.

As the days go by the excitement over every little thing we did is calming down a bit, but there are some highlights that will always be some of the first things we think of when we talk about our trip.

One of those memories, oddly enough, is the bus ride.

We had pretty much a full day to get to know our traveling partners. Or get to know them a little better, since we were at least familiar with the ladies from our area. At one point as we traveled through the hills of Pennsylvania the bus driver pulled off to the side of the road and stopped - all very suddenly. There was a busy highway on one side of the bus and a guardrail and steep cliff on the other side. For several minutes nobody knew what was going on and the bus driver wasn't sharing. (We did determine he was OK, at least.) With no power on the bus (read: no air conditioning) it got sticky in a hurry. One mom got pretty anxious and asked us to open some windows. We obliged. But one row got a surprise when they released the latch on their window:

Oops!

You can't really tell from the photo, but that's actually a double-paned window and it's the outer pane that shattered - so thankfully no one was hurt, and when the bus driver slammed the window to get it to shut, much of the broken glass fell to the ground.

It turned out the bus was overheating and we had to pull over a couple more times before we made it to DC. It happened again on the way home, so somewhere on the turnpike we met up with a different bus and had to unload and reload all of our stuff. The good news: it was a much nicer bus. The not-so-good news: we got home a bit later than anticipated (which wouldn't have been a big deal if it hadn't been 2 a.m.).

There is so much to see and do in Washington, DC, and much of it is walkable. And boy did we walk. We walked, and walked, and walked. We left our hotel after breakfast by 8-8:30 in the morning and we didn't get back until at least 10 each night. The bus would take us to one location where we would visit, then walk to the next place and the next. And so on. We had no trouble sleeping, lemme tell ya'.

Our favorites? The Museum of Natural History - we would love to spend an entire day there. The Star-Spangled Banner exhibit at the Museum of American History - what an amazing piece of our nation's history. The Lincoln Memorial - it's much grander than either of us anticipated. The war memorials and Arlington Cemetery - all beautiful and humbling.

And while I would love to go back as a family and show Steve and Sam some of the things we saw and spend more time exploring, there will never be a trip quite like this again. Because I did it with my girl ... my Girl Scout.

Rockin' the Mall.

Holy smokes, it was HOT that day!

 Rachel goofin' with the camera.

 At the Lincoln Memorial.

At Arlington Cemetery, near the Eternal Flame.

One of the greatest things about the Girl Scouts of America is how they encourage girls to be whatever they want to be, and make sure they know that girls can change the world. The Rock the Mall event was pretty powerful (if you could survive the heat), the entertainment was great, and we got to be a part of a world-record-breaking dance and singalong. Pretty cool.

We did take a little "detour" during that big day when Rachel got a nosebleed. Poor kid ... she gets them occasionally but never as bad as the one she got that day. So we spent some time at the first aid tent until it stopped. She was just fine after that.

We have some wonderful memories of this trip, and I'm so glad Rachel was persistent with asking me if we could go. I had fun with her, I enjoyed walking around with Rachel's hand in mine and experiencing something new together.

It reminded me, too, of how thankful I am that I am able to do this kind of stuff with my kids. As a homemaker I didn't have to get up early to head to work after only a few hours' sleep, and I am surrounded by family who took care of everything while we were gone, making it possible for me to go, and to focus on my daughter.

I can't wait to go again someday.

The Itinerary: Washington, D.C.

Rachel and I (and about 200,000 other Girl Scouts, leaders and volunteers) have a very busy and incredibly exciting four days ahead of us.

This year is "The Year of The Girl" as it is the 100th Anniversary for the Girl Scouts. This year is also the first time since I was a Brownie in the first grade that I am once again officially a registered Girl Scout. We're all celebrating with a trip to the nation's capital, and the Rock the Mall sing-a-long event on Saturday.

It's going to be a pretty intense trip. We will board the charter bus at 7 a.m. tomorrow and spend pretty much all day traveling. I am cool with this. I'm just happy to have someone else driving for a change.

Friday will start bright and early with breakfast at the hotel, followed by a full day of sight-seeing.

We will walk the Points of Light Volunteer Pathway, visit the Museum of American History, the Museum of Natural History, and take a tour down Pennsylvania Avenue. We will have a choice of visiting the Air & Space Museum, the Gallery of Art, or the Museum of the American Indian (suggestions anyone?). Friday evening we will have a "night tour" including the Korean War Memorial, Lincoln Memorial, Vietnam Memorial, and if time permits the WWII Memorial and front of the White House.

Saturday we will see the Jefferson, FDR and MLK memorials, then participate in the sing-a-long at the National Mall from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., then more sight-seeing in the evening - the Iwo Jima and Air Force memorials are on that list.

We leave Washington, DC, on Sunday the 10th. We'll spend some time at Arlington National Cemetery in the morning before the long trip home.

I'm excited and exhausted just looking at the schedule! We have never been to DC but it has always been on our family's list of places to visit. I will still want to visit as a family, but the really cool thing about this trip is I get to enjoy it with just my girl.

Well. My girl and a quarter million other girls. Wooohoooooo!! I will take lots of pictures to share when we get home.

I'm so excited!!!

Happiness is ...

... a day when every song that comes on the radio feels like the perfect song.

... weather that turns out even better than the forecast.

... children who beg to stay outside and play just a little bit longer.

... the kind of sleep that comes after soaking up the sun all afternoon.

... leaving windows open all night to hear the peepers and feel the cool air.

... a good cup of coffee in the morning.

... an unexpected phone call from my hubby.

... the promise of more good days ahead.

Yesterday was one of those days I absolutely savor. I love, love, love the sound of all those tiny frogs in the marshy areas surrounding our house, chirping their welcome to spring. It's one of my favorite sounds, and since I know it will only last a handful of days I am always sure to take the time to listen and enjoy.

Happiness is having the time.

Happiness is also looking forward to having more time as a family.

Once again, Steve is going to be moving from his current job to a position with another company. The new gig will be closer to home and will provide a little plumper paycheck. Less distance, more money. No arguments from me.

Though if I'm honest with myself I have to acknowledge that little twinge of concern that is ever-present in my heart. The "what-ifs" of change. What if it doesn't work out? What if this wasn't the best choice? But as the years go by and I see over and over again that it always. works. out. the what-ifs become less and less of a factor for me. In fact, this time I surprised myself a little. When this latest opportunity came up I was nothing but excited. Probably mostly because it would reduce the distance between us from a 12-hour drive to a 4- or 5-hour drive within our home state. Five hours is a cakewalk for this family.

Like any other trade out there, pipeliners have all kinds of "you know you're a pipeliner if ..." jokes. Well, the wives and girlfriends of pipeliners have their own set of jokes, and most of them have to do with packing up everything important and being ready to hit the road faster than he can say "I got the call, baby. We're moving." That usually means packing up the RV, and we know several families who have sold their homes and truly live the nomadic lifestyle. We won't sell our house. Steve and I both need a home base, a place to retreat to when things get crazy. So we have two homes, more or less: one on wheels and one with roots.

Even though we don't travel with Steve (so I'm not packing our whole life into an RV in a very short amount of time), the sentiment of always be ready for change is the same. So I add a bullet point to his résumé, I direct phone calls and pass along messages, I pray for a smooth transition and safe travels. I plan my days so that once he's home from the current job I can help him get done everything he needs to get done so he can turn around and get back on the road. It's a routine we know all too well.

Summer is just around the corner. Change is in the air. It's all good. Life is good.

I'm happy.

A few pics from our trip.

I feel like I'm still recovering from our weekend trip to PA. Or ... maybe not "recovering" so much as my heart and mind are still there with Steve, even though my body has been back in Michigan for a good 24 hours.

I didn't take my camera with me but I got a few pictures of the scenery with my phone. And most of them were taken while either I or my subjects were on the move. But I'm not sure even the best camera (or photographer) could capture the true beauty of these hills and how that beauty brings about a certain sentimentality. Which is a weird word. But a good one considering it's Valentine's Day, huh?

Anywho, a few highlights: 

 

Steve took Saturday off to hang out with us, but he did take us up the hill to see where he's been working. This is the road he takes every day. On one side of the truck it goes straight up, the other side straight down. And this isn't even the "narrow" stretch.

This is the well pad where he works. Probably not much rhyme or reason if you don't know what's happenin' here, but it's kinda' neat to see from up above. 

The three loves of my life. This is a lookout where, if it hadn't been so foggy, we could have seen the little town down below. But ... fog. So all you can see is the shadowy hill in the distance. And it's a little creepy looking.

I don't know.

Snow. Mud. Mountains. It just looked like a GMC commercial.

 There is water everywhere. Creeks running alongside the roads. Beautiful to look at (as long as you're not driving), and beautiful to hear when your husband stops the truck to let you take a picture.

Crossing the Susquehanna River into the city of Lock Haven.

This just cracked us up ... vicious bear turned ... badger? This is in front of the place where Steve and my brother, Jim, were staying.

Monday morning on our way out we stopped to get gas and Rachel took this picture. That hill in the distance? Steve works up there. It was a beautiful sunrise.

The perfect ending to a great weekend.

We're back!

Oh boy, does it feel good to kick back in a recliner in my own living space and stretch my limbs after a loooong drive today. It took us 12 hours to get home - at least 11 of that in driving time, the other hour or so spent on potty breaks, snack stops and gasoline fill-ups.

Hmm. Maybe 10.5 hours of driving. Which by the way? I have decided is my limit.

But two days' worth of driving sun up to sun down - to Pennsylvania on Friday and back home again today - was worth every minute to be able to spend two full days together as a family. I think it was a morale booster for all of us.

I have lots to share about our trip, and a few so-so photos from the camera on my phone (because yeah, my camera was one of a handful of things I forgot to take with me) but it will all keep until tomorrow when I am a little less bleary-eyed.

For now, bedtime.

Road trip!

If I let my children live through the evening ... *ahem* ... we will be leaving before the crack of dawn to drive to Pennsylvania for a long weekend with Steve.

I can't wait to see him!!

The key is making it through the next few hours when Sam and Rachel are excited, bouncing off the walls - and each other - and I am thinking about how I'm going to get everything packed, get some sleep, not leave the house in a shambles, and make it through a 12-ish-hour drive tomorrow without my two offspring driving me crazy.

And now, I will let Ladybug and Patch the Kitty demonstrate what I hope to be doing tomorrow night at about 8 o'clock:

Dontchya just wanna' rub Patch's belly?

Have a great weekend, folks. See you next week!

Clean Slate Sunday: 10.30.11 edition

I've started so many posts over the past several days, but my brain is so scattered I can't seem to hold a thought for more than a few minutes. If that.

This afternoon was rather perfect in terms of late-October days. Breezy and cool. Overcast, but bright. The kind of day that makes me want to bake some bread and snuggle up on the couch with a book. But I did not make bread and I did not do any reading. I did take a nap when I finally decided it was about the only thing I could focus on. It took me most of the rest of the afternoon to do a few loads of laundry and, a little at a time, clear some clutter and do some sweeping and straighten things up a bit.

The other day when I took the dog outside first thing in the morning I couldn't help but think of how the thick layer of frost on everything made the trees look exactly how I felt: heavy. Burdened. That day it was because Steve was leaving to head back to work in West Virginia and I just wasn't ready to let him go. Every day since then the heaviness has hung on, but for different reasons. Tonight is no different.

Sunday nights have always been my "chill" time. I finish up whatever tasks need doing before the new week begins and I prepare for the routine of rising early and packing the kids off to school. It can be exhausting or exhilarating, or a little bit of both, depending on the schedule for the week. No matter what, I try to take the time to count my blessings, take some deep breaths and some quiet time, and approach the week with an open mind and a grateful heart.

Tonight it's been difficult to calm myself. Life is in upheaval, and while it would seem chaos defines the Pipe Lifers' day-to-day, this period seems to be extra intense. Despite lots of unknowns, though, life goes on and we figure out how to roll with it. One day at a time.


For now, it's late (or mega early, rather) and I need to try to get some rest. I wish you a blessed week.

Let the vacationing begin!

It's late and I should be catching some zzz's but I'm too cranked up on caffeine to even think about sleep right now. We're heading to West Virginia in the morning and I just can't leave without taking care of a few loose ends here at home.

I finally had to tell the kids to stop whatever they were doing and go to bed. The two of them getting a good night of sleep is more important to me than leaving at my target time of 7 a.m. If they take a little more time to finish packing in the morning I'm fine with that as long as they have slept for several hours which will help keep the griping and groaning to a minimum. They didn't need any caffeine tonight; I think they're pretty excited about visiting daddy and seeing their WV friends again.

So while I wait for the laundry to finish up I'm sorting through papers on my desk, making sure bills are paid, and thanking God that we have family who are willing to house- and pet-sit while we are gone. I so appreciate knowing everything is taken care of at home and I am free to relax and enjoy myself and time with my husband and kids.

We just have to get there first.

It's about a 10-hour drive with a couple of quick pit stops along the way. I am not excited about the drive. And I don't usually mind driving, but that's a long haul and I've done it enough times to know there is no way to make it faster or easier. The best thing about it is the end, where Steve and our comfy trailer and beds will be waiting for us.

I can't wait.

Here we go AGAIN!

What a crazy few days it's been.

The kids and I went to visit Steve over the weekend which was absolutely wonderful because he was staying at a campground we are familiar with and we had a great time.

Sam found the new rope swing ...

Rachel was in heaven with the petting zoo barn cat's four new kittens (in addition to a mix of other animals including bunnies, baby goats, a deer and a pig) ...

And we saw one of the several peacocks all fanned out, which was absolutely enthralling ...

The crazy part was that we were hardly settled in before Steve told me he had arranged to go back to Pennsylvania to work, having reached his limit of frustration and micro-managing with his current employer. So Saturday - the next day - would be his last day.

Hhhhhhhhhh.

This was not exactly a surprise to me. I knew Steve had been unhappy with some recent developments on this job and I had encouraged him to hang in there as long as he could, which he did. I had also let him know, in essence, that quality of life is far more important than money or location.

Actually I believe my words were, "Whatever you need to do. You're no good to me if you're grumpy and depressed all the time!"

So on Sunday we all headed home. We got to spend some quality time together as a family, and Steve and I had a nice day together today when we took our travel trailer (Steve's home away from home) to the RV dealer to have an awning installed.

Somewhere in the meantime, plans changed from Steve going to PA to Steve heading to West Virginia. That's just how quickly things can change. And that's fine; it's all good. He leaves tomorrow after Sam and Rachel get on the school bus.

Tonight I've been trying to do all the "normal" school night stuff to help the kids get ready for another day while also helping Steve get ready to go, however I can. And it's a beautiful night - crickets chirping, frogs croaking, a cool breeze working on blowing a storm in, and the sky turned a glowing pink/orange as the sun went down. I stopped to admire the color and was surprised by a rainbow painted across the sky in front of our house. I hurried outside to take pictures and I could hardly get the whole expanse of it with my little camera.

This one is my favorite:

 I'll take this as a sign we're going in the right direction.

Road Trip!

I'm excited! Probably not as much as the kids, but pretty excited nonetheless.

I am picking Sam and Rachel up after school today and we're heading out to spend the weekend with Steve. He's been working a ridiculous number of hours and it sounds like he'll be working right through the weekend, so the only chance we have to see him at all is if we go to him.

We finally have a weekend when our only commitment isn't until Sunday afternoon, so we're seizing the opportunity to get away. The buckets of flowers and stack of lumber in the front yard will be waiting for me when we return. Projects can be taken on any day, but too many more days without seeing my sweetheart would make me pretty sad.

I've got a few last-minute things to do (including packing) before I go, so I better get to it. Have a great weekend!

Change? Bring it on ... in style.

This week has been a perfect example of how bizarre our life can be sometimes, and why being flexible with our schedule is a major key to keeping a grip on sanity.

Steve left Sunday evening to head back to the hotel where he has been staying during the work week, with a 6 a.m. meeting on his schedule for Monday morning. He knew he might be assigned to the night shift for a few days this week, so he anticipated perhaps a long day Monday trying to sleep as much as possible.

Well. He was scheduled for the night shift, but that wouldn't begin until Tuesday night. So he had the latter half of Monday and most of Tuesday to kill.

In the meantime Monday, my brother-in-law and I took a road trip to pick up the Pipe Lifers' new travel trailer.

I hate admitting this - because I don't like admitting I can't do some things - but I asked Steve's brother to go with me so he could drive my truck home with the trailer attached. I don't have much experience pulling trailers (OK, no experience pulling recreational vehicles) and Steve wasn't really keen on the idea of me earning my trucker hat with our brand new 31-foot trailer.

I didn't argue.

So we got the trailer safely home and parked in the yard, the kids promptly started messing with the entertainment system, and I began a mental list of all the items I would need to round up to outfit this baby. I had visions of adding a few touches of home here and there, considering this is where Steve would be living all summer.

Then the phone rang. It was Steve. "I'm on my way home."

Awwwww. I thought he wanted to sleep in his own bed before he started that night shift business. Maybe even take advantage of the extra hours off and hang out with moi.

Umm. No. Home boy spent three hours driving on $4.16/gallon gas to whisk his new trailer off in the middle of the night, check out of the hotel, and park at the campground where he had already reserved a site.

I think he's a little excited about this thing.

He ought to be. We've been looking and shopping and keeping our eyes peeled for a new (or at least new-to-us) trailer for at least a year. Steve is in this nomadic line of work for the long haul and having a comfortable place to go "home" to after work each day makes it a little easier to live apart from the rest of the family. If that's possible. And it will certainly make it more comfortable for all of us when the kids and I visit him in the summer.

So yeah, we need to be flexible alright.

*choke*

I'm gonna be flexing my Mad Budgeting Skilz muscles for a few years. But it's all good. I am so happy to see Steve excited about this. He works his tail off for our family and I'm happy to do my part to make it a little easier for him.

Oh, and that night shift gig? Lasted all of one night. He's working during daylight hours today. Go figure.

Here's a peek at the new digs:

It has everything that is important to us right now: Steve wanted the "living space" in the rear with plenty of room to chill and watch TV or play video games; I wanted room for the kids to each have a bed and for me and Steve to have the closest thing we could get to a (private) bedroom.

He's happy. I'm happy. Sam and Rachel are happy. I can't wait to spend some time in it with all of us together.

Come on, summer!

Stop the ride! I need to catch my breath.

I have been so busy lately, half the time I don't know whether I'm coming or going. This week is no exception. The good news is this week is the last of the crazy over-scheduled kind, so the month of August should be smooth sailing.

Psh! Yeah, right.

Anyway ...

Summer camp was a great experience for Sam. He's been talking about it since he got home Saturday. I am so excited for him that he had this experience, and I don't think it will take much convincing to get him to go again next year. Interesting note: he lost four pounds during the one week he was there. Those kids were on the move all day long, every day. Good stuff.

I managed to get away by myself for a couple of days to visit Steve in West Virginia. It was fabulous. Thank God for family members willing to watch our pets and our home and take care of our children while I'm gone. It was so good to come back to the comforts of home, but dang that's a long drive and man, I really miss my sweetheart.

While I was in WV I got to meet and have dinner with my friend Heather who I have been chatting with on-line for a few years. This was the first time we got together in person. It was a lovely dinner and we shared lots of laughs and Heather charmed the waiter to pieces.

And then she charmed her husband into taking our picture.

Oh, Steve and Heather's husband Mike were there, too.

Oh, and Mike is Steve's boss.

Details, details.

There has been much socializing on the homefront, too. The group of girlfriends I get together with on a monthly basis during less busy times of year finally managed to pull off a dinner together a couple of weeks ago. I had breakfast with my dear friend Sarah when she was visiting from Boston last week. Sunday the kids and I joined a group of friends/neighbors for their annual canoe trip down the Pere Marquette River. And somewhere in between all that, we've visited a local swimming hole with friends a couple of times, too.

So with all of this going on, why do I feel so out of touch?

I feel like I have been living in a bubble. Everything I do is about me and mine and I'd be hard pressed to tell you what's going on in my community on any given weekend. It's been weeks since we have attended church on a Sunday morning. Here I built this new deck on the house and I have hardly had a chance to sit out there and enjoy it. Shoot, I guess I don't feel too bad about that since it's been too hot to sit out there anyway and the deck will still be there in the fall when the weather cools off.

To top things off, today began Vacation Bible School at our church. This is my eighth year being a leader for VBS and every year brings new challenges and new excitement. Every year I am emotionally and physically exhausted by the end of VBS Week. Somehow I think the exhaustion is beginning to hit me already, though, after only one day.

More about VBS - and hopefully a few pictures - later this week.

Goodbye, garden. I'll miss you.

Well that's that. I've decided against planting a vegetable garden this year.

I love having a garden. I especially love walking out there in the afternoon and picking a handful of green beans for that evening's dinner or grabbing a zucchini to grate for fresh zucchini bread. And I love the physical work it takes to keep the garden at its best. But the time and attention it needs are more than I am willing to give it this year.

Last year I had a pretty successful garden. Not the best garden ever, but my best garden ever. So the decision to not plant this year is bittersweet.

I'm being realistic. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

Sometimes reality bites.

I don't expect to be around much this summer as the kids and I will be visiting Steve as much as possible, wherever he is working. So it's either mourn for the gardenless summer now and get it over with, or kick myself later for taking it on when I knew I shouldn't have.

I do plan to have my own little salsa garden on the deck - a tomato plant or two, a couple of jalapeno plants, and a cilantro plant, all in pots (I'll buy the onions and limes and Corona and chips) - and that will give my green thumb something to fidget with.

(Yeah, I don't really have a green thumb, but it sounded right.)

 

As I have in other areas of my life, I am making a choice to pare things down in the extracurricular activities department. Eliminating the garden for this one year allows me to focus on other things that need my attention right now. Next spring when planting time comes around I will reevaluate and see how things look. Perhaps our circumstances will be different and I can look forward to spending the summer a little closer to home. Maybe not. Nobody knows.

So goodbye for now, garden. I feel liberated knowing you won't be hogging my attention and sapping my energy, but I will miss you all the same.

Focus, Jen. Focus.

All Steve needed was a replacement part for the travel trailer. It cost less than $100. We would stop at the RV shop, he'd pick up the part he needed and we'd be heading home.

Simple enough, right?

Pffft. Not when he parks next to the prettiest darn 30-footer With An Outdoor Kitchen I've ever seen.

"This one's on special," the salesman says. "Just worked up the cost for someone."

I took a sip of my gas station coffee.

"How much?"

And that's when it all unraveled.

Fortunately we came to our senses pretty quickly.

Well, after about 30 minutes of checking out other trailers and talking about options and even hearing a payment schedule on the Beauty With An Outdoor Kitchen.

Payments. We have enough of those already, thankyouverymuch. We've already taken a couple of steps backwards in our journey to debt freedom. It seems like as soon as one payment disappears, it's not long before another monthly obligation pops up to take its place. It's time to get things back in focus and make good use of the momentum we've gathered this spring.

Sure, the extra space would have been nice when the kids and I go to visit Steve during summer vacation, but who really needs an extra fridge and sink and counter space on the outside of the trailer anyway? That's a luxury we just can't afford right now.

We are very fortunate to have what we have.

And I'm going to keep telling myself that this summer when, for the zillionth time, I am sweeping away the trail of sand from the door of the trailer to the refrigerator.

We do not need an outdoor kitchen ... We do not need an outdoor kitchen ...

What is "normal" anyway?

Looking back over my posts here I realize there are times when I do little more than write about the happenings of the day or try to put a humorous twist on misbehaving children or sometimes just transfer the random thoughts from my brain to the computer screen. When I started this blog my intent was to not only keep family and friends posted on the goings-on of our family, but also to share some of the trials and frustrations - and really great moments! - of this lifestyle with other families in the same boat. Being a family with one spouse/parent at home and one on the road is hard and just knowing that others are out there struggling - and celebrating! - with the same issues can be a huge comfort. We've been living this lifestyle on and off for years, but when we first started I didn't really have any source of inspiration or a place to commiserate with like-minded people.

So I look at those random posts and I think "gee, I didn't really offer up any sort of wisdom there" but then I remember that the everyday-blah-blah-normal stuff is just what we do. Just like everyone else, we wake up in the morning and we go to school or work and we live our lives. We just happen to do it a little differently than others. But everybody has something they work around or deal with every day. People tell me how they couldn't imagine living like we do, but to us it's normal. I look at people with severely disabled adult children that need 24/7 care and I think it takes a special kind of person to live that way and feel "normal". I think of military wives who give birth to children while their husbands are in a combat zone, or people who live in hurricane country where it's "normal" to have a 72-hour grab-and-go emergency kit in the front closet and I think wow, these people are tough. Not me. I have a pretty cushy life.

Steve told me recently that while the wife of one of his coworkers was there visiting one evening the guys asked her to give some perspective on being the one left at home. (Hey, what a great idea for a blog!) She said what I think a lot of us would agree with and I've said before: It's hard being the one holding down the fort and not really knowing what the guys are doing out there.

Oftentimes we don't understand the logistics of the job so when our guys tell us (literally) what they did at work today, all we can do is listen. When they say they're going out to grab a bite to eat with the guys, we can't picture who they're with because we don't know their coworkers. When they complain because they had to go all the way across town to pick up something for the job, we can't picture where they're going or what they're driving through. The guys, on the other hand, know exactly what home looks like. They know we're here cooking dinner (or ordering pizza) for their kids every night. They know what our basic schedule is every day, and for a lot of us, they know there are people around to keep us safe, sane, and honest.

The guys asked Steve "what about you?" I imagine he had to look up from sending me a message to tell them that we communicate regularly. We send texts to each other throughout the day - sometimes a lot, sometimes once or twice. We chat on-line, we post updates on Facebook, he reads my blog, we talk on the phone. He sends e-mails to the kids and talks to them on the phone. He comes home as often as he can and we put off doing other things with our budget so that the kids and I can go visit him, too. Those are some of the things we do to make this work. And while it works for us, it might not work for other families.

We've been through those years when I felt insecure about my husband being out in the world by himself with lots of opportunity to stray. We've had those fights about where all the money goes when I'm here trying to pay bills and he's there trying to focus on work so the bills can get paid. We've done that back-and-forth comparison about who has the harder job - him, being away from home and family and working his butt off day after day, or me, being pretty much a single parent and covering all the school activities, all the discipline, all the household stuff and making sure he has a soft place to land when he gets home. None of the arguments very productive at the time, but all of it necessary to get us to where we are today, having learned how important it is to communicate our frustrations and worries to each other and talk things through before either one of us blows up. We laugh about it now, but the cliche is true: communication, communication, communication. It's also important to offer up encouragement, positive reinforcement, and remember to tell each other often how much we appreciate what the other is doing.

Well. That's a whole lot of rambling to say a couple of very simple things: 1) This is normal for us, and sometimes our lives are just as boring as anyone else's and my posts here on the blog will reflect that. I apologize in advance and hope you'll stick with me. I promise I'll make you laugh again soon. And 2) If your family is faced with the same kind of situation with one spouse/parent having to travel for work, take some time to find your own normal. Do what you need to do to make things as comfortable as possible for all of you. If that means the non-traveling spouse/parent keeping the home fires burning, do it. If it means packing everyone into an RV and homeschooling the kids, so be it. Whatever works. I'll be here rambling about our normal and hopefully providing a source of strength for others along the way. And if you'd like to leave a comment or shoot me an e-mail I'll gladly commiserate with you.