Ringing in 2015: Fresh starts, clean slates and all that jazz.

It's almost comical to look back on my post from last year at this time. I had grand plans to coast quietly into the New Year, create a peaceful little bubble around myself, be mindful in my daily interactions with the world, live a more "zen" life.

What's that they say ... if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans? Yeah.

I never would have guessed I'd be where I am at the end of 2014. Early in the new year I was offered a part-time job and I've been working about 20 hours a week since early February. I love it. It's just enough for me to get out and see people, interact with adults, and feel useful. It's not a lot of money, but I can't beat a four-day work week and being close to where my kids are in school during the day. It had been six years since I worked regularly outside the home, but it was a relatively easy transition jumping back into the workforce.

At about the same time I started my new job I also started a Bible study with a great group of ladies. This was my first experience doing a group study and I can honestly say it has been life-changing. I'm excited to continue to grow my relationships with God and these godly women when we start another study in the new year.

With my heart and mind open to whatever direction God might steer me, toward the end of summer I was researching the possibility of transforming an old building down the street from our office into a new business - a farm stand where I would resurrect the city's weekend farmer's market, and sell fresh produce and maybe some other locally-made goods. Very quickly it went from "I wonder if we could make a go of this" to "holy cow, we're doing this!" So I'm looking at the first of the year looming and I am reminded that in three months I'll be mailing my first rent check and I get all tingly and excited and a little freaked out and I think if I was looking for life to slow down this was not the best avenue to travel.

HOWEVER. I have never experienced the type of happy I feel every time someone asks me to tell them about my plans for this business. There are moments of panic when I think I can never make it happen like I see it in my mind but then I remember that even if it's not perfect (and what is?) it will still be really awesome and I will be incredibly happy.

So 2015 will be an interesting year. I don't really know what to expect, except a lot of hard work. This is one of those instances when you don't know what you're capable of if you don't give it a try, so I'm going for it. It's a good time in our lives - as a couple and as a family - and I'm excited to see where this next year takes us.

Tonight we're saying goodbye to 2014 and celebrating Steve's and his brother's January 6 birthdays (same day, five years apart) with a huge bonfire, food, drinks and visiting with friends. I came in early because my toes were frozen. I might make it to midnight, but not much longer.

I asked Steve if he had any goals or resolutions for 2015. "Just more of being me," he said.

Twenty-some years together and the guy is still making me laugh. I adore him.

Here's to a healthy, happy, prosperous New Year for all of us. May you be blessed. Cheers!

The ups and downs of this summer's garden.

I am feeling grateful this week as just about every evening we've included something straight from our garden with dinner - a fresh tomato sliced on top of a burger, crunchy cucumber slices, zucchini in some way, shape or form.

But I mentioned in a post the other day that it has been a weird year for gardening, and that's true for my vegetable plants and my perennials.

My tomato plants, which I am still impressed with because I grew them from seed, hardly have any leaves left on them. Either there is something funky in the soil that splashed up on them, or it's just been too darn chilly a summer here. The leaves started getting brown spots and it spread quickly, then eventually the leaves would just turn crusty brown and fall off if I didn't pull them off first.

Interestingly, the plants still produced lots of tomatoes and they are turning red. And they taste good. So ... I don't know. This is one of those times when I shrug and decide maybe my garden just wasn't meant to be perfectly pretty this year and I should be happy with what I get.

I am on my third planting of green beans, and having gotten a full day of rain yesterday I am hopeful these will sprout and my dear daughter will get to pick and eat some beans - her favorite - from her own garden.

The bean situation started out great; I had planted seeds and they were sprouting, but we got a lot of rain early in the season and my gutters got clogged up and overflowed, sending a stream of rainwater straight down into the raised garden bed below and washing out much of what was planted. The few bean plants we had I dug up and gave to my parents, as their beans had never sprouted. They gave me what seeds they had left, and when I had cleaned up the garden bed I replanted. I got two plants.

Those two plants now mark the rows of where I planted a new crop ... hopefully.

I planted, watered, and prayed. If we do get some plants we should have a nice fall harvest of beans. We shall see.

Zucchini?

 Going like gangbusters. I've got some beets and carrots looking good, too.

This year's cucumber crop is the best I've ever had. They are beautiful and they taste amazing - not bitter like I've experienced in the past. Tonight I combined a couple of those fresh cukes with some red onion and a dressing made of olive oil, lime juice and cilantro (also from the garden).

When I dished some up for myself I tossed some avocado in there, too. Oh. My. Gosh. It's like SUMMER in a dish. Yum.

My jalapeno plants look sad. Last year I had jalapeno trees - tall, wide, and abundant producers. This year? The first four plants dried up and died. I bought two more. These are alive and green and leafy, but only about six inches tall. Stunted. Again, I throw my hands in the air. I suppose I have a few weeks to try to nurse them along, maybe fertilize and see what happens. Or I could go buy $1 worth of jalapenos when I need them, but store bought just isn't the same.

Such is the life a gardener, I suppose. Trial and error, ups and downs.

Elsewhere in the yard, my hostas are absolutely gorgeous and several plants and shrubs are blooming for a second time. Even those early bloomers that say they "might" bloom later in the season rarely do, it seems. I guess it's a good year for those.

And then there's this guy ...

Cilantro that sprouted right up in the walkway between garden beds. It's got to be from seeds that I harvested from last year's plant. I intended to put them in an envelope late last summer to keep and plant this spring. Most of them got blown off the patio table before I had a chance. I did pull a couple of cilantro sprouts out of the cracks in the patio earlier this summer. But this one ... I guess if it has the will to sprout and grow in the gravel, I'll let it stay. It'll be really yummy in my cucumber salad in a week or two.

Eeny, meeny, miney, moe, which is the strongest tomato?

If I grew nothing else in my garden this year, I would at least grow tomatoes. Lots and lots of tomatoes. Because from the time the harvest is over in the fall until we're starting seeds again in the spring, there is nothing like the taste of a meal made using tomatoes - or sauce from tomatoes - you grew yourself.

Pizza with thick, pasty sauce. Chili with chunks of last summer's abundant harvest. Spaghetti topped with homemade marinara. YUM.

The last couple summers, in the interest of saving myself some time and possible heartache, I purchased tomato plants. The frugal side of me couldn't stand the idea of shelling out the amount of cash I'd need for as many plants as I want this year though, so I decided to start some seeds myself.

I spent about $13 on three packs of organic seeds and a Jiffy mini greenhouse seed starter (which I can re-use). As soon as I got home I soaked the peat pods and planted my three varieties of seeds, labeled the lid and set it in one of my south-facing windows. Less than five minutes later my dog had one of the clumps of seed starter spread all over the floor.

Bad dog.

I was able to gather up most of it and stuff it back in the little mesh thingy that holds it all together, plant a couple new seeds, and set it back in the container. Within just a few days I had sprouts. Happy!

I cared for those tiny plants over the next few weeks, rotating the container so they'd each get sun and keeping them just the right amount of moist.

One day apparently the dog made the connection that what I was putting in that little dish at his nose level was WATER. You can imagine how that went.

I lost one plant.

And then one day a certain offspring grabbed something from the corner near the window and bumped the table where my seedlings were thriving, upending the whole container.

Ugh. Is all I'm gonna' say about that.

Miraculously, just a few of the plants didn't make it. But after that incident I had no idea which plants were which.

What I did know is some of them were beginning to outgrow their little home, so it was time to do some replanting. This afternoon I gathered up some containers and soil and did just that.

So much for labeling. I have no idea how many plants of which varieties I have.

 I have 17 seedlings in various stages of development. I'm not sure I won't start a few more. Because you can never have too many tomatoes, right?

I'm excited to see how these babies turn out, and if I can manage to harden them off in a few weeks without losing them. That's the part I lose interest in pretty quickly - the shuffling things outside during the day, in at night, out during day, in at night.

Though I suppose if they can survive my animals and my kids, they have a pretty good chance of making it to summer.

Wish us luck.

Saturday worship and Sunday morning coffee.

We're smack in the middle of another cold snap here in Western Michigan.

Or ... colder snap. Because, ya' know, it IS the end of January. It's winter. But temperatures will be in the single digits the next couple of days with more snow piling on top of the more than a foot (and several feet where it's drifted) we already have.

A handful of churches in the area cancelled services today because the road commissions just haven't had time to clear everything, and once the snow is pushed back it reveals a layer of ice underneath. Treacherous.

I was bummed. For as much as I wasn't looking forward to going out in the weather, I really need to be "fed" among my church family. I can study the Gospel on my own any time, but it's not the same as hearing it surrounded by my people, who encourage me to live it out every day.

Alas, there is plenty to keep me busy here at home. Yesterday I was the one doing the feeding of my peeps, and it was my own style of worship. I cooked and baked - and prayed - all day. With Steve having been off work for a couple of months we are stretched pretty thin on the financial front, yet we have so much for which to be thankful.

We are well fed. We have a roof over our heads and a warm home. We are together as a family, healthy and able-bodied. We are surrounded by people who love us and provide a support system others only dream about. And so much more.

We've been confined to the house a lot lately with sub-zero wind chills and nothing extra in the budget for outside entertainment. It gives this over-thinker too much time to over-think. Lots of opportunity for the depression and anxiety I fight every day to weasel their way in. So I fight harder. Some days I give in to the urge to sleep all day. Some days I all but ignore my family and escape into someone else's world via books or the Internet. Or TV. And I don't even like TV that much, but I've come to feel a certain bond with the cast members of The Big Bang Theory.

It's bad, y'all.

But not today. Today we have fresh pumpkin bread to snack on and I hear productive activities all over the house calling my name. My morning coffee is kicking in and I know I better wrangle that energy into something good or before long I'll think the snowbanks are closing in on me.

Have a blessed day.

The best Thanksgiving.

How was your Thanksgiving? I hope it was full. Of family. Blessings. Food. Black Friday shopping. Whatever makes you happy.

I think our Thanksgiving Day was the quietest, most relaxing on record for me. I felt like I really had things together, which is no small miracle. I have to admit I was feeling a little down because so much of Thanksgiving is centered around The Big Meal and so much of The Big Meal usually consists of foods I can't (or shouldn't) eat because of my allergies.

And I really hate that something like that gets me all depressed. So I took the bull by the horns and decided what I would really miss - pumpkin pie - and found a dairy-free recipe online, and whipped it up the night before. It was fabulous. I ate dairy-free pumpkin pie the following two mornings for breakfast.

There are a few things that I give the "Is this worth it?" test. I ask myself, "is this cake/pie/bread/whatever worth the stomachache/headache/sore throat/itchy skin it might cause me later if I eat it right now?" That's the difference between having a lethal allergy and one that only makes you feel like you're dying (or want to). Sometimes it's worth it. Most of the time is isn't. But enough about that. Because really? The BEST part of Thanksgiving was spending time with my family.

On Thanksgiving Day we went next door to my in-laws' for dinner. It was just seven of us: me and Steve, Sam and Rachel, mom and dad and grandma. Perfect. We ate, then while the guys went hunting Rach and I crashed in the living room and watched TV and took a nap.

It was snowing that perfect, pretty snow, too. So we took a couple pics outside.

I'm so happy to have Steve home for the holidays.

 And this girl ... God help me.

 

Rachey (stifling a laugh) and her Great-Grandma Jane.

Then Saturday we headed north to my Uncle Steve's house in Elk Rapids. We've been having this Thanksgiving get-together with my dad's side of the family for ... holy smokes, more than a decade now.

By my count we had 25 people. Perfect. I think as I get older I appreciate these family gatherings more and more.

Rachel colors with cousin Izzy.

My first time meeting my cousin Annie's (and her husband, Greg's) baby boy, Edison.

Squeeee! So fun having a baby around.

Food! Buffet style.

I snapped this picture right before we left. It was one of those moments when you just kind of stand back and take it all in. We are so blessed to have extended family we all love and get along with.

We're back to the grind this week - the kids back to school, me back to ... whatever it is I do depending on the day, and Steve taking care of things that need fixing or doing while he has the time, being that he's laid off and all. Hunting season is over (for firearms anyway) so there is a bunch of stuff hanging around that needs to be packed up and put away.

It's nice to have Steve here. I'm hoping we can sneak in a date night sometime soon, but I really enjoy just having him here. We have a lot of catching up to do. Such is The Pipe Life: miss them like crazy while they're gone, cram in the family time whenever and wherever you can.

Allergies. I haz 'em.

So I made it through allergy testing - not more than a couple hours' worth - Thursday and Friday.

Here's what I learned, in the tester's words: I am "allergic to everything."

Who knew? I mean sure, I deal with the occasional headache or tummyache. I have eczema. I get hives now and then. I pretty much always have some sort of drainage in the back of my throat and my nose runs constantly. At times my eyes are so itchy and watery that I'm afraid people think I'm crying. And then there's the sneezing and coughing and throat-clearing. And wheezing.

Umm, OK. When I write it out like that it does seem like a lot. And truly, I do deal with some sort of discomfort every single day. I guess it's just something I got used to, and I didn't know those various discomforts were (most likely) related.

None of my allergies is life-threatening at this point, but I was given a prescription for an Epi-pen as a precaution. I'm told I reacted quickly and pretty severely to ragweed and grasses, but there was some reaction to every single thing they tested. Dogs and cats, various molds, trees, weeds, foods, and (ick) dust mites. Cow's milk - this I had suspected for some time, actually, and had cut back on my milk consumption. White potatoes, of all things. Interestingly, I had a roast in the slow cooker and planned to have carrots and potatoes with it Friday evening (after testing). I went ahead with my plan, knowing the potatoes were on my list, thinking I would just see how my body handled it. Lo and behold, I went to bed with a headache that night. Sure, the headache could have been caused by anything, but now I know to pay attention to how my body reacts when I consume certain things. If I get a headache the next few times I eat potatoes, guess who's not eating potatoes anymore?

All the information I was given was a bit overwhelming at first, but now that I've had a little time to digest it I am thinking about how I can implement some changes here at home. It will take some effort to keep up with the dust mites and pet dander, but I am resolved to more frequent dusting, vacuuming, and laundering. I'm so glad we had central air installed last summer so I don't have to open windows and invite the pollens in from outside. Plans to remove carpeting in favor of hard surface floors will be put on the fast track. I'll be researching air filters and I already received a quote (*choke*) for sealing our crawlspace under the house to combat the dampness.

As far as the foods, there are some things I will just avoid. Most things aren't worth feeling like junk. For those I reacted to, I have been directed to do a "challenge" diet. So I would eliminate, say, any sort of milk from my diet for four days, then add it back in on the fifth day and write down how my body reacts. I will share those records with the doctor when I see him again in six weeks. The gal who tested me said she's certain the doc will recommend allergy shots. Yay.

So. That's that. I have some challenges ahead, but at least I know there is something I can do to help myself feel better, and having some answers is a relief. I expect when I see the doctor next month I will also hear about my breathing test and whether there is also an element of asthma going on here.

Moving forward. That's all I can do.

I want chocolate. And DDP.

We have a "perfect storm" this week. It's me.

I'm just (hopefully) coming out of a bout with the flu - the feverish, whole body hurts, coughing up a lung, can't get out of bed kind - and what I would really love, and I don't care whether it would be good for me or not, is a Snickers bar and a Diet Dr. Pepper.

This morning, when I dragged myself out of bed to pick Rachel up from an overnighter with her Girl Scout troop (which I was incredibly sad to miss because of this stupid illness) all I wanted was to stop at Wesco and grab a big cup of cappuccino.

But I can't have coffee, or chocolate, or pop, or anything else containing caffeine, or even any "nighttime-type" medications that would help me sleep. Because late next week I begin allergy testing, and all of that stuff could somehow throw it off. Is what they tell me. Hmph.

So I'm following the rules, but I'm doing it with a grudge. Because seriously? Caffeine in it's many forms is a regular part of my daily life. As is Zyrtec, which I also cannot take this week.

I like to think I can take it like a champ when I'm sick. I'm pretty tough. But tell me I can't have chocolate? When I'm in a weak and emotional state? I'm like a 2-yr-old throwing a tantrum in the grocery store.

Alas, the asthma and/or allergies I've got made breathing these past few days all that harder, so I will do what needs to be done to figure out those underlying issues and take care of them.

Imagine how pissed I'm gonna' be if we find out I'm allergic to chocolate. ::shudder::

Seven reasons I know fall is approaching.

1. Football practice. Sam decided he wants to play football this year, so he started voluntary practices with the team this week. Just sitting there watching those boys toss the ball around gets me thinking about cool fall evenings cheering from the sidelines.

2. Papa John's Sweet Corn. Our dear friends (and neighbors) set up a roadside stand where their daughters sell sweet corn grown on the family farm. Proceeds buy the girls their school clothes. So with just a quick walk down the road and some pocket change we've got ourselves the makings for one of our favorite late-summer dinners. In fact, it was all we had for dinner tonight.

3. Crisp morning air. Perfect for taking the dog for a stroll and then sitting on the patio with a cup o' joe without getting drenched in sweat.

4. A bountiful harvest. Yesterday my lunch was a salad of lettuce, cherry tomatoes and cucumber, all grown in my garden. We have enough to eat our fill and still have plenty to share. Soon I will be pulling up the beets and roasting them in the oven. Mmm.

5. Grandma's canning jars. See #4. I have boxes of canning jars stored under my bed. It is a joyous occasion when I harvest so much from my garden that I have enough to merit pulling out the canning supplies. This evening the kids helped me make jalapeno jelly with peppers from the garden. I have six 1/2-pint jars cooling on the counter in the kitchen and I may be able to make more with what is yet to be harvested.

6. The back-to-school ads and e-mails. Gag me.

7. That "nesting" thing. It's afghans and decaf in the evenings. Thinking more about paint chips and cozy furniture arrangements than petunias and planting grass seed. It feels natural to turn my thoughts inward a bit, stick close to home, bring out the cinnamon-scented candles.

We still have a few weeks of summer to enjoy before the kids head back to school, but fall is no doubt on its way. I'm OK with that. Ready for it, even. Bring it.

My Happy Place.

*Poof!*

And another two weeks have gone by since I last posted. Not because I have nothing to say; I've written a dozen blog posts in my head while going about the business of life. Just haven't had the energy to sit down and write at the end of the day.

I still don't, really. So I'll share some pictures tonight and tell y'all a little more about what we've been up to some other day.

~ ~ ~ 

No matter how busy we are or how much we have going on or how cluttered and chaotic the house gets, I have a place to go and sit and enjoy some peace and quiet. 

My garden has been a place of pure joy for me this summer. I put a lot of work into setting it up - literally, building the frames and shoveling a whole lot of dirt before it was ready for planting. It is a kind of extension of our patio, so I can sit at the patio table and enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning while I watch the plants move with a gentle breeze and shine in the morning dew, or listen to the sound of my wind chimes and the buzzing of hummingbirds nearby.

Yes, I stare at my plants. It's amazing how calming and peaceful a ritual it can be.

 

And they are beautiful, these plants ...

 The sweet banana peppers are abundant.

 Beets are tucked in between the taller green beans and the peas. I love the dark red veins in the leaves.

 Cucumber vines climb a trellis.

 Lettuce! Some of which I enjoyed on my cheeseburger tonight.

Blossoms on the sugar snap pea plants.

I'm training the summer squash plants to go vertical.

And still waiting to see how the eggplant ... uh, plant ... turns out.

Overall they are beautiful and healthy, but I can't claim it's because I talk to them.

I do converse a lot with God out there, though, and that probably has a lot to do with how peaceful it is for me. It's also pretty nice to be able to walk out my front door and pluck a few ripe cherry tomatoes off the plant for my salad or a handful of green beans to go along with dinner.

But sometimes all I really want to do is sit quietly and take it all in.

It's my happy place.

An observation.

Sometimes - like tonight - I feel like I've hit the jackpot if I open the silverware drawer and actually find what I'm looking for. Which is good because I might have cried this evening if I went to sit down with my General Tso's spicy chicken and didn't have a clean fork. It's happened.

How is it that there can be a whole dishwasher full of clean dishes, yet not a clean fork in sight?

Here's my observation: No clean spoons? Mom must have sprung for Reese's Puffs cereal. Or a bucket of ice cream. No clean knives? Must be a new jar of Nutella in the cupboard. No forks? Probably those single-serve microwave mac-n-cheese cups. (Don't hate. They're not that bad once in a while.)

My kids, when I buy foods they love, will eat the same stuff for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks, using up the supply of utensils in the drawer faster than you can say "get a box of disposable ones." I'm sure they're not the only kids who do this, and I'm not the only mom in the world who doesn't care if they do.

Or maybe they are, and I am. Oh well. What the heck ... it's summer and the livin' is easy.

BUSY! And some garden photos - woohoo!

We have been so busy. Crazy busy. And while I do try to take a few minutes here and there to enjoy some quiet time for myself, the world doesn't stop just because I am wicked tired.

So, what have we been up to? Let's see. Steve has been working his tail off within the high-security walls of the Marathon oil refinery in Detroit. I don't pretend to understand everything he does. He is responsible for making sure certain contractors do everything by the book and according to the customer's specs and safety guidelines. He has the perfect mix of patience and assertiveness to be a pipeline inspector. I? Would not. I have the "people person" part down, but the patience ... not so much. So mostly I pray for my husband's safety, be supportive when he needs to vent frustrations to me, and try to keep things at a dull roar at home so Steve can focus on his job.

This week was a toughie as far as that "dull roar" thing was concerned. I was unavailable to answer my phone at the moment Sam's school principal called to tell me about some trouble our boy had gotten into at school, so daddy ended up getting that call at work. Hey, it's all part of being a parent, and Steve is great about that, too. I can't be two places at once or available to everybody at all times. But I was sorry Steve had to deal with the initial impact. In the end it was a bit of a hiccup in everyone's day, but you'll have that sometimes.

Sam, I think, will be the happiest kid on the planet when school is done for the year. He has little motivation for school work to begin with, and even less when he makes a poor choice (nothing malicious, just a "bone-headed" thing to do, as I like to say) and it results in revoked privileges and more chores at home. He does have a fire in his gut for other stuff, and will stay up late at night to work on something he loves. And he's been incredibly helpful to me as I've worked on creating new garden spaces at home.

Here he is filling our new raised beds with fresh black dirt. Over the past few weeks we have shoveled and shoveled and raked and shoveled some more.

And he even planted a few of his own plants:

This is one of two pots Sam planted - this one's habanero peppers and he also has cayenne peppers. 

Now what in God's name do you think we're going to do with all those peppers?! I sure ain't eatin' 'em. But hey, caring for some plants and watching them bear fruit is a simple thing that brings him joy. It's all good. (And I do believe he will eat them. He's into this "the hotter the better" kick.)

Rachel has been busy - and has kept me busy - with a little bit of everything. She was so excited for her track and field day at school this week that she was up early that day and crawled into bed with me to wake me up. She had a bag all packed with her lunch, sunscreen, a blanket to sit on, snacks and extra water. I had a chance to stop by the track as I went from one commitment to the next, and I was so glad I did. I watched her win on the last leg of a relay, then watched her take 2nd place in a sprint. She came home with five or six ribbons that day. We might have a runner on our hands!

Rachel has also been helping me in any way she can with my gardens. When we finally started planting I dug up my clump of chives from one garden (which I have given to Rachel to grow flowers for a little cut-flower business she wants to start) and moved them to the new raised veggie beds. Rach had to take a picture of the roots ... I think they're pretty healthy.

To the left there, behind the chives, you can see Kevin. Kevin is a blinged-out garden ornament bird Rachel got me for Mother's Day. She named him after the bird from the movie "Up." Kevin's pretty cool.

I have been gardening a lot. I have built garden boxes, shoveled/loaded/unloaded sand and soil, hauled brick pavers, hoisted and dumped bags of pea stone, built a chicken wire cover to keep the cats out of the garden beds (Oh look!! Giant litter boxes!), and finally got to do some planting. All of that I have done in my spare time when I wasn't picking asparagus for the neighbors, babysitting for another neighbor, tending to my own children, preparing for a trip to Washington, DC with Rachel and about 200,000 other Girl Scouts (have I mentioned that?), nurturing relationships with family and friends, and taking care of all the "regular" household tasks a mama takes care of. It's no wonder I'm tired!

But I do so love these gardens. Last night after the kids had gone to bed I sat on the patio with just the glow of some solar lights, the cool breeze, listening to frogs croaking and crickets chirping ... and I watched the stars appear. I just sat there in the shadows of all this hard work we've been putting in. How often do we take the time to just sit? To just ... be?

I kicked back in that cheap plastic Adirondack chair and thought how nice it would be to have a chaise lounger for the patio. And then I started to think about upgrading the cafe table we have to a nicer set that could seat our whole family ... and more potted plants ... more color ... and a fire pit ... and, and, and ... and I had to stop myself. Reign in it, just like I tell my kids to do. I did, and then I was able to appreciate my surroundings even more. I was able to focus on that feeling of joy, that smile I always smile when I get home after a busy day and see butterflies floating and bumblebees buzzing around the plants scattered all over the yard - and wow, there has been an abundance of all kinds of flying creatures this year. My goal is to enjoy them ... to enjoy the peace they bring me, and savor the joy I feel when I am tinkering in my gardens. And when the light of the day fades, to just sit and know that no matter what happened during the day, tomorrow will dawn bright and new.

Oh! Here are the pictures I promised ...

Summer approaches. We will be cool and eat salad.

Cool, because we will have air conditioning installed later this month.

Salads, because I intend to plant lots of salad-making goodies in my garden.

And what is cooler than eating a salad made completely from ingredients grown by and harvested yourself?

I know. My kids don't think I'm funny, either.

Alas, they are stuck with me. And I am kind enough to include lots of the veggies they love in the garden plan, too.

Geez, has it already been a week since I checked in here? We've been busy.

Catching up: I finished the flower bed I was working on last week, and started building the raised beds for planting veggies. I'd love to show y'all some pictures, but someone (hint: not me) seems to have misplaced the SD card from my camera. If it doesn't turn up soon I'll snap some pics with my phone. Anywho, I had to quit working when it started raining Wednesday afternoon. I babysat Thursday, then the kids had Friday off school so we left to spend the weekend with Steve. That was really nice. I can't even tell you how awesome it is to arrive after just a few hours of driving versus an entire day of driving. We helped Steve (or rather "accompanied" him) to get moved to a different campground which is a little closer to the job, closer to home, and appears to be a place we're going to enjoy visiting over the summer. We got home Sunday evening ... yesterday was rainy and dreary and very blah and I'd really rather forget it ... and while I started out with a much more optimistic outlook this morning, the forecast of "mostly sunny and 67 degrees" isn't really panning out. As I write it's 51 and cloudy. Hmph.

However! It's a great day to plan out what I'll be planting in those raised beds once I have 'em finished. I did that this morning with the help of a garden planner on the Mother Earth News web site, thanks to this blog post by Karen over at The Art of Doing Stuff. (Incidentally, in the same post Karen also perfectly and quite hysterically describes my [almost former*] contempt for getting out of bed in the morning.)

Now I'm giddy over my garden plans. For realz.

I don't have these labeled, but I have a list of what's there. See that bed on the right? That's the salad bed: lettuces, radishes, green onions, peppers, grape tomatoes, cucumbers (on a trellis, hopefully), and a variety of herbs. Middle bed: summer squash, carrots, peas (peas and carrots!), beets and green beans. Left side: potatoes, eggplant, cabbage, edamame, and sweet corn. I will plant more tomatoes and zucchini in one of the smaller beds I built last year.

A few of these things are new for me. I've never grown potatoes, for instance. And eggplant is not something I eat regularly, but certainly might if I have it growing in the garden. Experimenting is half the fun of gardening! And it really does get the kids interested in trying new things.

Now I just need to print off my list and mark what I'm going to buy - seeds for some, small plants for the rest. Oh, and finish building those raised beds. Come on, summer!



*Would you believe I've been a little brighter-eyed and bushier-tailed in the mornings lately? I think there's something to this waking up gradually to music. This week's wake-up tune is Trace Adkins' This Ain't No Love Song. Or maybe it's just that I know we're on the downslope of the getting-up-for-school routine. Whatevs. It's workin'. I even made muffins this morning. Ha!

Will work for food.

I watched a documentary some time ago about making bread. It was about how the art of making bread is all but lost, and how if we could get back to making our own bread - measuring, mixing, kneading, taking in the smell and feel of it - we would be healthier, calmer, stronger, more appreciative of our food.

That's the Reader's Digest version.

The documentary was kinda' cheesy but the idea of it made sense. Making bread takes time. It takes patience. And probably some specific muscles that don't get worked out often enough.

I was thinking of that movie the other day as I made a sandwich for lunch. My bread came from a bag from the grocery store - but it is at least some of the "healthy" stuff with whole wheat and all those grains. "Bird seed bread" my family likes to call it.

So I got a couple slices of bread out, I'm thinking of the "let's make bread and sing Kumbaya" movie, and I grabbed a knife and started carving at the previous night's leftover chicken (rotisserie, purchased at the deli counter). Then I sliced a tomato (can't wait until I can grab one straight from my garden!) and rinsed off a big piece of green leafy lettuce.

That whole process reminded me of another snippet I had tucked away in my brain. It's from one of Dr. Phil McGraw's books, The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom. Someone loaned me the book several years ago, and while I cannot tell you the 7 Keys, I can tell you the one concept I do remember reading about: that if you don't have to work a little bit for your food, it's probably not worth eating.

Making a salad takes some effort. Cooking dinner takes time. Cutting up an apple or slicing some not-too-processed cheese is not as easy as grabbing a box of Wheat Thins (*love*) or unwrapping a granola bar (also *love*). But those things that take a little more thought and effort are often going to be the healthier choices.

Day by day I am trying to make more of those healthier choices. Damn those old habits of grabbing something easy and quick! I have the time, I just need to use it wisely - to plan before I fill my shopping cart, and keep putting healthy options in front of my kids. And myself.

Change - even small changes over time - doesn't always come easy, but sometimes it is necessary.

I find it rather cathartic to stand at my kitchen sink mindfully washing a bunch of grapes, spreading peanut butter on a sliced apple, making a hot breakfast for my kids. I can see how kneading bread a couple times a week would provide the same kind of peace. It's that joy we get from nurturing the people we love - I need to hold on to that feeling and seek it out when what I think I want to seek out is a handful of leftover Easter candy.

It gives a little different meaning to "working for food" doesn't it? But that's exactly what I need to do.

Clean Slate Sunday: 2.19.12 edition

I am sooo tired. So I'm gonna' make a few notes here and then hit the sack and hopefully get rested up for another busy week ahead.

All last week I felt like I was playing catch-up and never quite got there. Today, one simple thing made me feel like I was finally (almost) on top of things: after we got home from church and before we left the house again for Rachel's Girl Scout meeting I put a roast in the slow cooker for dinner. So when we got home late this afternoon I baked some potato slices for chips to go along with our pork BBQ sandwiches, and the kids and I actually had a home-cooked meal - something other than frozen dinners popped in the microwave - for the first time in several days.

Not that there is anything wrong with frozen dinners.

Family meals are important to me. Whether we kick back in the living room and watch Jeopardy while we eat, or talk with each other around the dining room table, I appreciate the time we spend together when we gather for a meal.

This week part of my plan is to inventory what we have in the freezers and make a menu. Steve will be home for a few days later this week to see his dad and Rachel for their respective birthdays, and I'd like to make his visit as relaxing as possible. Family meals, a clean house to come home to ... that will make it relaxing for me, anyway. Heh.

First, a little reading and a good, long sleep.

Have a blessed week, y'all.

Apparently, I'd like to hibernate.

'Cept I'm gonna' need some elastic-waist pants before I settle in for my slumber.

Whoa, doggies! It's a little too early for the holiday plump, isn't it? I stepped on the scale this morning (like I needed that first thing in the morning) and what was already pretty obvious to my bloated self came into sharp, digital focus.

I've put on a few pounds.

OK, literally, a few. Like, four. And listen. I'm a big girl anyway so one would think four pounds either way wouldn't make much of a difference. But I can tell you that four lousy pounds feels like 100 pounds in certain pairs of pants.

Oooooh, the comfort food. Since the weather turned very autumn-like in a hurry I've been drawn to the oven and the big ol' containers of flour and sugar sitting nearby. Yesterday, on a whim, I made several dozen pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. Ya' know ... for the kids. *wink wink*

Curse you, white flour and sugar!

And get this. I ordered a subscription to a new home decor magazine a while back? I guess there weren't enough subscriptions because said magazine flopped. So instead of sending me a refund, the company is sending me ... wait for it ... Taste of Home magazine.

Taste of Home! It's all about FOOD, people!

And I swear this is my final excuse: My walking routine has been interrupted by rain. (And perhaps *cough* a little *cough* laziness. *cough*) Yesterday my buddy and I finally got out to walk again after missing a few days and my legs felt like Jell-O the rest of the day. Sad.

I guess it's time to seriously consider an indoor workout alternative for the winter months so I'll be prepared when the snow flies and I'm too much of a sissy to wanna' walk out there. Because baby, I cannot keep this up all winter or y'all will have to roll me out of the house to greet the Easter Bunny come spring.

Now somebody hide the cookies.

Adventures in Domesticity.

I finally did it. I used tomatoes I grew in my own garden to make salsa, and then canned it.

Two whole pints.

Yes. TWO.

For years - YEARS - I have said I am going to learn how to preserve my own produce like my mom did. In summers past I have had bumper crops of various varieties but never had the time or energy to can it. This year I planted only enough vegetables for us to eat, with the possibility of maybe having a few extra tomatoes. Late in the summer I did share a baggy of grape tomatoes with my dad because I just couldn't eat 'em all, but I didn't think enough of the larger ones would ripen at the same time to make canning worth the effort.

Well. I ended up with a bowl full of romas in the kitchen that were screaming to be made into salsa, so last night I decided it was finally time to dust off the canning supplies I purchased last year.

Rachel gleefully served as my sous chef. She gathered ingredients, chopped garlic and cilantro, and measured out spices while I peeled and diced the tomatoes, jalapenos and onion.

We destroyed the kitchen. I fretted that I would miss a step or the timing would be off. The kids stayed up past their bedtime because I was too engrossed in de-ribbing hot peppers to march them off to bed. And I marveled at how the bowl of "stuff" headed for the scrap pile outside (where I will hopefully have a compost bin next spring) was more abundant than the good stuff piling up in the pot.

But oh, it will be so worth it when we pop one o' these babies open in the middle of January.

At least I hope it will be worth it. That's the thing about canning - you don't really know until it's time to try out the finished product, and that could be months down the road.

I can tell you last night my dry, cracked hands were not feeling the love. I'm too ornery to dig out a pair of gloves to wear while chopping jalapenos. Yes, I am one of those people who wrinkles my nose and waves off the warning in the Ball Book. "I don't need no stinking gloves!"

Eh, some advice? When working with hot peppers, find some gloves. Wear them. You can thank me later.

Also? If the activity immediately preceding your canning adventure had anything to do with leaving half your groceries stacked on the countertops, or washing dishes and leaving them stacked on the countertops, or unless your kitchen is the size of the Iron Chef's Kitchen Stadium, empty your sink and clear your countertops first. You're gonna' need the space.

Oh, two pints of salsa does not take up much room; it's the prep work. Washing, peeling, chopping, measuring. All that good stuff.

And don't make any appointments. Give yourself plenty of time. (Yeah, canning on a whim? Probably not my best choice, but it worked out OK.) I'm sure as I gain experience my process will be a little more streamlined, but dang! I was exhausted and in need of a shower by the time I pulled those jars out of the water bath. Since I was so exhausted, I did not take the time to clean up after myself before I shuffled off to bed ... so now it's time to do that. Olé!

Rain, rain, go away!

Good grief, it's been raining so much around here these days I'm about ready to start building an ark.

Except the rain makes me want to sleep all day.

Hmm. Save the world two by two ... or take a really long nap. I think I'll take my chances that the water won't rise too much. And, well, I haven't gotten any messages from The Big Guy about gathering up the animals, have you?

But I gotta' do something today, even if it means dodging raindrops and fighting the wind to run a few errands.

When the weather gets like this my kids ask for comfort foods so I've been poring over my cookbooks and searching on-line for some yummy recipes to try. I'm also working on using up some of our stocked-up foods in the pantry and freezers and incorporating some tomatoes from my garden that have finally ripened.

Last night Rachel and I made mini quiches and I chopped up some tomato to include in mine (the kids don't care for tomatoes unless they're in a non-chunky sauce). I was a meanie and insisted everyone have spinach, though. Sam was elated. Rachel, not so much. But she enjoyed helping me cook.

Yum!

I think I'll pick up some extra baking supplies today. I look forward to the house smelling like homemade bread ... cookies ... and who knows what else. Mmmm!

Happy Friday, all! Enjoy your weekend.

We can't do everything.

The other day I was blog hopping and found a post from a mom who has gone scratch-cooking-gluten-free-no-sugar-and-I-can't-remember-what-else, and the gist of her post was this: we can't do it all. And ya' know what? She doesn't feel so bad about that.

It was a relief to read this from another mom. She has made the choice to feel good about the positive changes she and her family have made, and to not feel badly because they choose not to do other Potentially Really Good things. I totally dig that. Because for heaven's sake, who are these people who make us feel all sorts of guilty because we don't recycle our glass bottles or cloth diaper our children or make homemade bread from sprouted grains (whatever the hell those are)?

I read that particular post at the same time I was kicking around the idea of writing a sort of stream of consciousness post here. I thought I'd set a block of time, like "preparing dinner" and jot down every(unrelated)thing that came to mind while I did that one seemingly simple task.

Uhh. I decided my somewhat ADD self didn't need one more distraction while I'm cooking. But I couldn't get over the idea, so I thought I'd try a "virtual" stream of consciousness. (Does that even make any sense? Ha!)

OK. Imagine I'm making banana bread. Which I really am going to do today.

Here's what's happening in my head:

Banana bread. Good way to use up the bananas we didn't eat. Score one for not wasting food. Too bad we can't grow bananas closer to Michigan. That whole "eating local" thing. Too many bananas, need to double the recipe. Two cups times two is four cups. Rachel needs some help with her multiplication. Add flashcards to the shopping list. No, we have 3x5 cards, we'll make some. We don't need to buy things we can make ourselves or do without because eventually everything ends up in the trash. I wish we didn't create so much trash. I wonder how much of a difference it makes that we burn our paper instead of putting it in the trash. Definitely a good choice to toss all the fruit and veggie scraps outside instead of in the trash can. Maybe someday I'll actually have a compost pile again, to use on the garden. Deer ate it all last time; bad location. Deer ... I'm so proud of Sam for bagging his first buck. Venison will be back from the processor in a few days. I wish Steve was here 'cause he'd cut it up himself and save the cost of processing. But at least we have the cash to pay to have it done. We have the cash because Steve is working, and having a job is a good thing. Do I miss working? What am I talking about? I still work every day, just not "out there." I work for my family. Part of what I do is home cooking and making shopping lists and following a budget so we can live on one income. Add flour to the shopping list. I should probably start stocking up on baking supplies with the holidays coming. Lots of flour 'cause I want to try my hand at making pies. With crusts from scratch. How can I be 35 years old and never made a pie? There are moms out there teaching their 5-yr-olds how to make pies. Mmmm, apple pie. Do I have enough apples for pie? What are the best kind of pie apples? Note to self: look up pie recipes next time I get on-line. Or maybe I should forage for apples. We have lots of trees around here. Then they'd be free(!) and we all know the best kind of apples are free apples. I'll check into that. Even if they're not good for pie I can make some applesauce and freeze it. Freezers ... I really need to make an inventory of what's left in the freezers and make sure there's room for venison. Make sure to add cinnamon to the applesauce if I make it, 'cause Rachel loves cinnamon. I'd love some nuts in the banana bread but the kids don't care for nuts. Maybe some with chocolate chips and some with nuts? I should just make it how I like it and if the kids don't like it they don't have to eat it. But this is what I planned for an after-school snack. What time is it? Will these be out of the oven before the kids get off the bus? Hey! I bet I can find a flashcards app on my phone. I really need to cut back on the kids' TV time. Some people live without TV and survive just fine - better, even. So they say. Ah well, my kids love TV and it's a great reward after they do their chores. Chores? When was the last time I paid them for their chores? I need to make a new chore list. Maybe it should include helping make dinner. But I'm home all day, I can make dinner. And breakfast, too. I should do a menu plan and do once-a-month cooking. Then we'd definitely need freezer space. Where's the damn dog? On my bed again. I give up! She needs a bath, though. Has she had her heartworm medicine this month? Check the calendar. Crap. School pictures coming up. Another check to write. What a racket. I really want to have family pictures taken sometime. I'd like to lose some weight first, and I'll never do that if I eat this banana bread. 'Cause I like mine with a lot of butter. But it's so much better than buying boxes of snack foods at the store; at least I know exactly what goes into this bread. Sugar. Like my kids need more of that. Maybe we should try cutting back. I can't control what they do when they're not here, though, so they're gonna' get sugar anyway. What time is it? They'll be home an an hour and a half. Should I be driving them to school? I'm not crazy about some of the things they hear on the bus. But it would be crazy to use all that gas when they can ride the bus for free. Man, I really wish I had a stand mixer. Definitely need to invest in one before we start making our Christmas cookies this year. Gotta' stock up on those supplies. Wouldn't it be fun to do a cookie exchange with some girlfriends? I'd really like to have a get-together. Need to do some cleaning, though. Put spray bottles on the shopping list so when I use up all the cleaning supplies I have I can make my own. Natural cleaners are a good thing. But I'm not crazy about the smell of vinegar. What's that candle over there? I should swap out summery scents with fall scents. I like these candles that are made in the USA. Pumpkin pie candles make me want pumpkin pie ... hmmm ... maybe I can teach myself how to make pumpkin pie. And make several, and put them in the freezer, for the holidays, when we'll be making cookies, and budgeting so we don't spend too much on stuff we don't need, and I'll be using that new mixer (hopefully) to whip up some bread dough but I'll be damned if I'll use sprouted grains. I can't do it all! Oooooh, warm banana bread.

And it goes on like this all. day. long.

Aren't you glad you're not inside my head? You'd probably get motion sick, or at least a little dizzy.

I hope all that blather helps me demonstrate a few things.
1. We can't do it all. Most of us have to make choices about how we're going to contribute to saving the planet and/or humanity. Are we going to go "green" with our choices in building materials, household cleaners, transportation, food consumption? Are we going to become activists for wildlife? Are we going to focus on the political aspect and encourage others to only elect leaders who make the environment and/or high moral values their focus? Will we homeschool our children? Start a farming co-op? Fight the power?

2. Parenting is tough. Mom, dad, single, married, co-habitants, alone, surrounded by family and friends, whatever. It's hard. A few years ago I flooded a social worker with questions upon questions about raising children and you know what I was told? Just the fact that I was thinking about how I parent and questioning some of these things was a pretty good indicator that I'm a good parent. Whew. Hello, validation. My children are fed and clothed and have a roof over their heads. And they eat red meat. And boxed cereal and chicken nuggets. And they drink Kool-Aid and juice boxes sometimes. And milk! And I don't make them wear bicycle helmets. But I let them use power tools and occasionally drive my pickup down the driveway. I say "I" because for the most part I do the parenting while Steve is away. *shrug* I think we're doing fine.

3. Perfectionism can be incapacitating. I like to call myself a recovering perfectionist. In the past, if I didn't have time to do something perfectly (or whatever my vision of perfect was), I wouldn't even get started. Dieting, hanging pictures on the wall, writing a letter, folding towels ... any number of things I wouldn't do because I didn't have the time or energy to make it perfect. I have learned that it's OK to do some things "good enough" and save the pickiness (is that even a word?) for the things that really matter to me. Bonus: this has freed me from being judgmental of others' imperfections. *ahem* Mostly. What can I say? I'm a work in progress.

4. Don't take it personally. If I don't see you stopped next to me at the light, or I don't look up from my list when you walk by me in the grocery store, I'm probably having one of those stream-of-consciousness moments. Go ahead and nudge me. (Well, not with your car, but tapping me on the shoulder in the grocery store is alright.) I might just appreciate the escape from my own brain.

Aaaaand, this seems like the perfect spot to stop rambling for the day! At least publicly. Rest assured it will continue in my head. And I really do need to get baking. Ciao for now!

Father's Day fun.

Of the eight or nine days we were in West Virginia, Sunday - Father's Day - was the only day the guys had off work.  My brother Jim's family had been visiting too, but they had to leave Sunday morning, so instead of all of us doing our own thing for the day we stuck together with our friends and all went out to have some fun.


First we headed to the Parkersburg Multi-Cultural Festival, despite quiet protests from the guys about "tree huggers" and "crunchy hippies." We ladies figured once we got them there they would have a good time, and I think they did. At least it was fun watching the kids have a good time.

And while Sam and Rachel took one more round in the bouncy play area (best. kids' activity. ever.) Steve and I shared an apple dumpling from one of the food booths.

Yes, there is a pastry-covered apple in there. YUM!

There was music from all over the globe, children's activities, choo-choo rides around the park ...

... lots of informational booths, food vendors - Amish friendship bread, hot sauces, honey, Mexican food, corn dogs, you name it - henna tattoo artists, vintage jewelry makers, belly-dancing lessons, and lots and lots of people-watching. After spending much of the afternoon at the park, we went to dinner at a local seafood restaurant called Fishbone Gill & Grill.

Dinner was awesome. We sat outside on the deck, the kids had a place to play, and we had a good ol' time.

Family pic overlooking the Ohio River.

Da boys. The dads might have imbibed a wee bit that day. 

My dinner (half eaten). I couldn't get over how beautiful these grilled shrimp kabobs were. Tasty, too.

You can hardly make it out, but this is a pic of a huge coal barge passing the dock at the restaurant. (If you enlarge the photo you can kinda' see the barge stretch from one side to the other.)

The gang. That's my brutha Jim on the left (nice white legs, bro), our friends Travis and Nada and their son Colton (protesting having his picture taken), and the rest of us. All of us pipe lifers.

Quite the crew, eh?

I know it was Father's Day, but we had so much fun it was a day this mom will remember for a long time.