Ringing in 2015: Fresh starts, clean slates and all that jazz.

It's almost comical to look back on my post from last year at this time. I had grand plans to coast quietly into the New Year, create a peaceful little bubble around myself, be mindful in my daily interactions with the world, live a more "zen" life.

What's that they say ... if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans? Yeah.

I never would have guessed I'd be where I am at the end of 2014. Early in the new year I was offered a part-time job and I've been working about 20 hours a week since early February. I love it. It's just enough for me to get out and see people, interact with adults, and feel useful. It's not a lot of money, but I can't beat a four-day work week and being close to where my kids are in school during the day. It had been six years since I worked regularly outside the home, but it was a relatively easy transition jumping back into the workforce.

At about the same time I started my new job I also started a Bible study with a great group of ladies. This was my first experience doing a group study and I can honestly say it has been life-changing. I'm excited to continue to grow my relationships with God and these godly women when we start another study in the new year.

With my heart and mind open to whatever direction God might steer me, toward the end of summer I was researching the possibility of transforming an old building down the street from our office into a new business - a farm stand where I would resurrect the city's weekend farmer's market, and sell fresh produce and maybe some other locally-made goods. Very quickly it went from "I wonder if we could make a go of this" to "holy cow, we're doing this!" So I'm looking at the first of the year looming and I am reminded that in three months I'll be mailing my first rent check and I get all tingly and excited and a little freaked out and I think if I was looking for life to slow down this was not the best avenue to travel.

HOWEVER. I have never experienced the type of happy I feel every time someone asks me to tell them about my plans for this business. There are moments of panic when I think I can never make it happen like I see it in my mind but then I remember that even if it's not perfect (and what is?) it will still be really awesome and I will be incredibly happy.

So 2015 will be an interesting year. I don't really know what to expect, except a lot of hard work. This is one of those instances when you don't know what you're capable of if you don't give it a try, so I'm going for it. It's a good time in our lives - as a couple and as a family - and I'm excited to see where this next year takes us.

Tonight we're saying goodbye to 2014 and celebrating Steve's and his brother's January 6 birthdays (same day, five years apart) with a huge bonfire, food, drinks and visiting with friends. I came in early because my toes were frozen. I might make it to midnight, but not much longer.

I asked Steve if he had any goals or resolutions for 2015. "Just more of being me," he said.

Twenty-some years together and the guy is still making me laugh. I adore him.

Here's to a healthy, happy, prosperous New Year for all of us. May you be blessed. Cheers!

This dream is becoming a reality.

Life has been happening, peeps.

I end my days with the kind of sleep that's so sound I don't even dream, exhausted after each day of parenting, working, thinking, planning, doing. The ball is rolling on one of my long-held dreams and as it picks up speed I am hustling to keep ahead of it. Or to keep up with it?

(Incidentally, I started this post several days ago and then spent this entire past week in sick bay - not working, barely parenting, mostly sleeping and sipping tea and chicken broth. Fortunately I'm on the mend now.) 

I am taking the plunge and becoming an entrepreneur. Starting a business. Steve and I have spitballed ideas over the years as we see businesses or buildings come up for sale. We tell each other how nice it would be to work for ourselves. But the pieces never came together like they have this time.

The one big difference this time is this new business is my baby. It is born of the visions in my mind, and I am doing all the leg work to get it off the ground while Steve continues to work at the job that provides for all the essentials for our family.

I'll continue at my part-time job, too. The cool thing is my new place is less than a block away from where I currently work. It's not much now - just a vacant building and a parking lot - but next spring it will be the home of a weekend farmers' market and the beginning of a produce stand/country store/urban garden/community gathering place.

Can't quite see the vision? That's ok. It's a lot to wrap your head around. I expect there will come a point when people see what's happening and think, "Oooooh. Now I get it. Cool!"

But first, the farmers' market. That's the first priority, and what I will spend the most time on over the winter.

Behold, the location:

It was most recently a car wash. Prior to that - decades ago - it was a service station. It's in remarkably good shape ... or a hot mess, depending on how you look at it. I'm going with the more optimistic view, despite the fact that the larger bay doors are so banged up they won't open, and nobody seems to have keys to unlock what we're all sure are restroom doors.

Most people probably look in this direction and see a building far past its heyday. I see a solid structure on a busy corner lot. I see space for people to gather on summer weekends and sell their wares, meet their neighbors, learn from each other. I envision a bustling market. A comfortable oasis with a place to relax in the shade. Community art. Repurposed objects. Color. Life.

There is a little bit of green here. Actually, the green that's here is a little bit out of control.

 

 Monster shrubs need trimming (or removing) ...

Grape vines need to be cut back ...

This will all happen in the spring. I have signed a lease agreement which will begin April 1. So I'm committed! And excited. When sharing my plan with folks I've gotten a lot of positive feedback. Lots of offers to help get things off the ground, and questions related to participating in the farmers' market. Very encouraging.

There is a part of me that can't believe I'm doing this. There's another part of me that walks a little taller these days, confident that I'm doing the right thing at the right time in my life. I'm stepping out in faith with a specific prayer that God would continue to guide me and bless my family on this journey. And also that I will have the patience to make it through the next five months - gracefully - and take care of the paperwork side of things so that on April 1 the physical (fun) work can begin.

What I'm loving lately.

My gardens. My plants and flowers. Sharing the abundance of zucchini with friends and family, and seeing the tomatoes finally beginning to turn red.

It's been a weird year for vegetable gardening. More on that in another post.

Every day when I get home from work, one of the first things I see is this flower bed on the east end of the house:

Huge hostas. Beautiful, bright pink garden phlox. Bee balm. Purple salvia. And more. This used to be my "nursery" bed where I would plunk sad-looking plants hoping to nurse them back to life. Apparently it's in a good place because everything I put here thrives here, to the point that I've had to move some plants to other places because they're crowding each other out. It makes me happy.



And yes, the garden hose you see in the picture, too. I love it. At the end of the regular hose I have one of those "pocket hoses" that when you empty it takes up only a teeny tiny space. Pretty sure this is one of the best inventions ever.

This drought tolerant plant? Love it. 

Despite being ignored lately, every day more of these gorgeous orange flowers pop open. This plant sits atop a fountain my parents gave me as a birthday gift (early, as my birthday is coming up this weekend). At the moment the fountain - which I have enjoyed immensely - doesn't have any water in it. I'm going to remedy that this evening.

More garden love. 

My cucumber plants are climbing the trellis beautifully. You can't see it in this photo, but way at the bottom, protected by the leaves, is one cuke almost ready for picking. And many more to come, I hope.

Cherry tomatoes - we've got a bunch. I love watching them grow day after day. It's one of those things that reminds me how amazing God is to have created this world.

The kitteh condo:

Given to us by one of my coworkers who is recently cat-less with no plans to adopt any more. A friend made this awesome cat bed/climber for her, and she was so happy to see it go to a home where it would be loved. Patch is happy happy happy. Whiskers is all, "This is not my bed. My bed is at the end of the hall." If only she would realize that when she's on the top, the dog can't reach her.

I took this picture of Patch from outside the window. The kitty condo is huge. We look like the Crazy Cat House. I'm ok with it.

This guy.

Well I love him always, of course. But this summer we have made a real effort to get together as much as possible, and it fills my heart to bursting. It has meant he makes the drive from WV to MI for the weekend after working 10 days straight. And I have visited him alone or with whomever can or wants to go with me (kid-wise, and on the most recent trip, my mother-in-law). We are in that interesting season of parenting where the kids would rather hang out with friends than with us, or are already committed to other things. Which means they are also old enough to fend for themselves while I spend a few days away.

It's been such a busy summer. The kids got out of school, we hit the ground running and we haven't looked back. I haven't even posted here on the blog since June 10. I'm just now catching my breath, and before we know it we'll be back-to-school shopping. But that's life, isn't it? I keep reminding the kids when they lament that they can't do it all, they are fortunate to be able to do as much as they do. We all are.

Something else I'm loving: work. After six years of the kids and home being my main focus, I am now regularly contributing to the workforce. It's the perfect part-time schedule for me. Great people I've known for years. A town I love and just blocks away from the kids' schools. With flexibility to take an extra day off now and then when I go to see Steve. It's been six months since I took this job and the time has flown by. Also, because of my job I'm trying new things like working as an election inspector which I'll do for the first time next week. Good stuff.

When I'm not working or running kids around or catching up on household duties, I am often working on projects - building, painting, stripping, sanding, upcycling - and loving it all. These windows are leaning against the house on the front porch. I have plans for them. (But don't they look kinda' cool right there alongside my grandma's old washtub I painted last year?)

There is so much else - so many things, moments, sights and sounds - that make me smile every day. It has been a wildly busy summer, yes, but I have enjoyed it. Looking forward to what the rest of summer brings.

A rare quiet morning.

I'm enjoying this Saturday morning of quietness. It's the first day in what feels like forever that I have nothing on my calendar - no commitments, no place to be. So I'm sipping my coffee and making plans to attack what's left of Mt. Laundry (after I already did a few loads last night) and try to make some order out of the chaos that is our house lately.

I love my new job. As I've told friends recently, the work is not life-altering. I'm not changing the world by processing people's water bill payments or answering questions about citywide trash pickup, but I am making a difference in my own little world. I'm making a (small) contribution to our family finances. I feel a sense of purpose. I'm teaching our children that mom has a life other than the one she's been focusing on them all these years (in other words, you'll have to learn to get yourself out of bed in the morning because I'm busy). I'm learning to manage my own time a little better.

It's just 20-ish hours a week, four days a week, which is just enough to push me to be more productive in the hours I am at home. And to appreciate those hours with my family, and in this home I love.

Steve is getting settled in back at work, too. After having him home for a few months and over the holidays, it's taking some adjusting. But we're making plans to visit him over spring break, which will be nice. I will welcome the change of scenery.

We're finally getting a glimpse of the end of winter. Every few days temps reach up into the 40's, which is enough to melt a little more snow. The roof of the house is clear now, but most of our yard is still covered with more than a foot of snow, all heavy and packed so hard we can walk on top of it. Yesterday it rained, and then last night snowed just enough that there was a dusting on the deck when I woke up. I am so over this winter. I've been looking at garden boards on Pinterest and flipping through my spring magazines, making plans for when I can finally get out there and work the soil. This week I picked up a small seed starter and planted some tomato seeds - I can't wait to have some GREEN around here! And I have other projects I'd like to tackle, too. Mostly furniture pieces that need to be taken outside and sanded so I can paint or stain them. I know ... patience. I've never been good at that.

I also want to finish some blog posts I've had hanging around over the past month. I think of something I want to share, start a post, and then get distracted. Story of my life. So ... while I'm waiting for the ground to thaw out, maybe I'll get some of those up.

Think spring!

Starting a new chapter.

There's a lot happening for the Pipe Lifers these days.

Well. At least a lot more than has been happening over the last couple months while Steve was laid off.

After start dates got pushed back and pushed back again, Steve ultimately changed employers to one that could get him back to work now. He left Sunday and started work in Pennsylvania on Tuesday. I miss him. I miss him like crazy, especially after being a little bit spoiled by having him here 24/7 since Thanksgiving. But it doesn't take me or the kids long to get back into our "normal" routine here at home. And I know Steve's glad to be back out there working to provide for his family.

The difference this go-round is that I went back to work this week, too. (Squeeee!)

I have been blessed with the opportunity to be a homemaker and focus on raising our kids for the past six years. That doesn't seem very long in the grand scheme of things, but that's half my little girl's life! I've done a few short-term or very-very-part-time jobs here and there, but nothing on a regular schedule since I left my last full-time job.

There was much consternation (only from me ... because nobody else in the house seemed to care one way or the other) over whether I really wanted to give up my wide-open days. This is serious business, people! I haven't had to answer to anybody for six years. I haven't even had to get out of my sweatpants most days. That might've factored into my decision a little bit. *ahem* I might've needed a little ... encouragement ... to DO SOMETHING. I mean, it's not like I don't do anything when I'm home, but I certainly don't jump out of bed and shower and get dressed and put makeup on every day. I am just not one of those women. Couple that with a tougher-than-usual winter and being virtually snowed in for days on end and I am ready to fly the coop.

I started my new job Wednesday. It's part-time, Monday-Thursday. It's at the city offices in the town where my kids go to school, a fact which landed squarely in the "pro" column. Also a pro: I was already acquainted with everyone in the office. And I'll always have Fridays off because the office is closed Fridays.

Cons? We all know it costs money to get to work. Gasoline is one of our biggest expenses anyway because we live in the middle of nowhere. During busy times (sports, driver's training) I make several trips to town each week, so it's hard to tell how much more I'll spend on gas, if any more at all. But I know I need to pick up a few items of clothing, because y'all? I have a pair of corduroy pants. Oh, and a few sweaters that will get me by, but pants? This gal is lacking. I even wear jeans to church. And it's not like I have a closet full of jeans, either. Lucky me, lots of cold weather clothing is already on the clearance racks. I might poke around when I'm out and about this weekend.

So ... that's the big story for us these days - we're both back to work. I'm excited. It feels good to have a little more purpose each day as the kids need me less and less.

I've got two days under my belt. So far, so good.

When the message smacks you right in the face.

Some weeks ago a friend posted on Facebook asking if anyone was interested in a Bible study based on the book "7" by Jen Hatmaker.

I jumped. Not only have I been craving a little more time spent in and studying The Word, but this part-time journalist/full-time mama and homemaker could really use a regular date with a few other adult women.

Fast forward a few weeks to now. I dive into 7 and I am immediately convicted.

I'm laughing, because Jen Hatmaker is hysterical and I adore her girl-in-the-next-pew, nobody's-perfect style. I am devouring the book. But I am also stopping every few paragraphs, going back and re-reading, reflecting on my own life, my family's consumerist habits and the very basic things we take for granted like all the clean water we could want and a warm, secure place to sleep at night.

(Go ahead. If you haven't already, Google Jen Hatmaker. I'll wait.) 

Reading this book now is perfect timing for me. Steve has been off work since the week of Thanksgiving, and probably won't be starting his next project until after the first of the year. This wasn't unexpected. We knew he would have some time off this winter, and I actually looked forward to having him here at home through the holidays.

Even when it's expected, though, is it ever really a good time to be unemployed (read: without a steady income)? And listen. I am the kind of girl who needs the threat of that looming deadline to get my butt in gear. I try to sock money away all year long for occasions such as this, but it seems like about the time we have a good chunk in the savings account the wheels fall off. Sometimes literally. Repairs on pickup trucks are expensive, and pickups are what we have. Household repairs aren't cheap, either. Home ownership is not for sissies ... or anyone who gets a little anxious when the numbers don't compute the way you want them to. *ahem* And don't even get me started on the expenses of raising children.

So when Steve came home we knew we'd have to go into survival mode, trimming the fat clean out of the budget and making every penny count. He did apply for unemployment benefits which equal about the same amount per week that he was earning in 1995 - when he was single and childless and still lived with his parents. It's at least a nice supplement to the last paycheck that will roll in this month, and all together it will be enough for us to make it to the next paycheck - whenever that is - well-fed and with our sanity (relatively) intact.

But what if it wasn't enough?

Seriously?! (Now I'm talking to myself.) How could we EVER not have enough?

I know there are folks living in poverty all around us. I know many go without food and shelter on a regular basis for reasons out of their control. I know that if I were in their shoes looking at me and my family I would think we were wealthy. Sadly, I often get stuck in the mindset that we are not.

As Jen H. explores in the book, I too often struggle with the "why" of my lot in life. Why am I so fortunate to have been born in the richest country in the world? Why have I had such a wonderful life, never knowing what it's like to go hungry or to not be able to see a doctor when I'm sick? It makes me a little bit ashamed of where we are right now, today: watching Monday Night Football on a large screen, kids tucked into their comfy beds, my bare feet not cold at all despite the chill outside, refrigerator packed with food, some of which will no doubt be tossed in the trash because half the members of this household don't like leftovers.

Yes. We occasionally throw food away because we can't eat it all before it goes bad or starts growing fuzz. This is not ok!!

And this is why I'm feeling convicted. We need to be better stewards of the resources we've been blessed with always, not just when we're feeling the squeeze. AND (and this comes from yours truly, Ms. Pare Down and Simplify herself) we need to stop filling every little empty space in our home and in our souls with stuff. If we busy ourselves filling those gaps where's the room for God to do His work in us?

It's definitely something to ponder, and I have been giving it much thought these last few days. Well ... our "more is more" lifestyle  - and that's a collective "our" as in "Americans" - has been on my mind a lot lately, especially with Christmas coming up, but Jen's book is pushing me to examine my own family's habits a little more closely.

I'm halfway through the book. Who knows, I could end up hating the idea of her experimental mutiny against excess by the time I get to the end. I doubt it, though. I'll keep you posted.

Peepers: the precursor to summer and all that is good.

I've been sleeping with my bedroom window open just a little bit these last few nights so the peepers outside can lull me to sleep. It's one of my favorite sounds - that springtime lullaby of frogs in the marshy areas around our house. I relish it on nights like tonight after a hectic evening full of kids and dogs and dinner and homework and wrapping up the tasks of the day. It's still relatively early as I write, but it rained hard and made us all tired ... so the kids are in bed, the animals are settled in, and I'm sitting here in one of my favorite places in the house: at my desk, with Pandora Radio playing quietly on my laptop (tonight's selection: my Phillip Phillips station). Most of the house is dark and I can hear the clocks ticking.

I do really love quiet mornings too, but I am a night owl at heart. Always have been. Tonight the quiet makes me long for warm summer nights sitting on the patio, sipping a cocktail, letting the breeze rustle my hair. We are in the "ugly" phase of spring when everything is still pretty grey and it's too wet to really get any work done outside. We're between seasons - in limbo. I don't do well in limbo.

On a positive note, I've been busy making calls and writing for the newspaper. It's been interesting developing a schedule and figuring out how to make this working from home thing work for me. How quickly I remembered what a drag it is to wait for calls back. But how cool to be able to fold a load of laundry while I'm waiting.

Steve - the real moneymaker of the family - is getting settled in at a new location. He finished up in Colorado and came home at the end of March, was home while the kids were on spring break, and then left late last week to head to W. Virginia. Good news on that front, too: his schedule is working 10 days, then four days off. He'll be home this weekend. He probably won't come home every break ('cause duh, that would be pretty spendy) but it's nice to know that when the kids and I visit we can have a few days of family time. I seriously cannot wait for summer when we'll be able to be together as a family more often. And I'm looking forward to some different scenery and the opportunity to explore a bit.

If only the rain would stop and the sun would shine, the puddles dry up and the flowers bloom. We're waiting ... but my patience is wearing thin.

Fake it 'til you make it.

There was this time during my college days that for some reason Steve was on campus with me ... probably a weekend when we went to see a play or something, as I was the editor of the entertainment section of the college newspaper and covered a lot of productions and visiting artists. As we worked our way around campus, he would hang back while I approached people for interviews, and at some point Steve commented to me that he didn't know how I could just walk up to people and start talking to them and asking questions.

I took it as an amazing compliment from my boyfriend-at-the-time, this guy who had already gone out into the world and begun to make a living for himself. Someone I looked up to.

I've remembered that moment all these years, and while that feather in my cap is a little dusty these days I still think of how I felt that day - how proud I was - at times when I need a little boost in morale. I was a confident gal and I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. Through four-plus years of college I never once wavered in my choice of majors - it was journalism all the way, baby.

Fast forward a few (or several) years through graduating college, getting married and having a baby, landing that job as a reporter - not the dream job with National Geographic, but the dream job at the hometown daily - and then buying a house and having another baby. Life happened in all kinds of ways and after just a few years in my dream career I felt called to be at home with those babies. So in my head and in my heart I made a plan, and I prayed that God would open doors for our family and allow it to happen.

You know what having children does to you? It humbles you. It reminds you that you are a very small player in this Great Big World and oh, by the way, you're probably doing it all wrong.

It also messes with your hormones. Looking back, I'm pretty sure a smidge of post-partum depression kept its gnarly fingers wrapped around my brain and blocking my face from the sunshine for months after Rachel was born. But that's a whole series of posts for another time.

My point here is ... somewhere along the way I lost my mojo. I still loved writing, but I didn't like being a reporter anymore. So after many sleepless nights, countless conversations with Steve about it, lots of analyzing and re-analyzing, I jumped ship. I continued to (and still do) write a column for the newspaper a couple times a month, but I left my desk in the newsroom for a job where I could still use my communications skills without being so "out there" anymore. Then after three years at that job, I finally made the leap to being a full-time mom and homemaker.

My last day at work was April 2, 2008.

Last week, five years to the day later - and more than eight years after leaving the ol' newspaper biz - I picked up my reporter's notebook again.

It was not without much consternation.

It's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. The gig, I mean. It's part-time (read: whenever they call). I can take assignments or pass on them depending on my schedule or ... I dunno, whether I really feel like doing it. And it's certainly not going to make me rich. But I swear I stopped breathing for a second when I got that e-mail asking if I was interested. Because somewhere along the way that confident college gal began to wonder if she was really good enough. All the compliments and kudos in the world weren't enough to counter the few silly mistakes I'd made that only I remember and the biting criticisms that stuck with me and chipped away at that armor I had surrounded myself with ... that thick skin every budding journalist is told they'll need to develop. I hated admitting that I had burned out on my career before I had even hit the age of 30. Sticking my toes in the water again made me feel vulnerable. Just the thought of starting over again, albeit on a very limited basis, was daunting.

Steve jokes that when I have a problem it becomes everyone's problem. What can I say? My mama taught me to share. I am anxious and an over-analyzer by nature, but over the years I have developed my own coping mechanisms, one of which is to hash it out either with a loved one (or three) or on paper (or keyboard). Fortunately I am blessed with a handful of amazing friends who collectively understand what it feels like to live with anxiety like I do, the sometimes crushing responsibility of telling other people's stories to the world (and getting them right) day after day, and the energy it takes to ignore that inner voice that loves nothing more than to fuel the flames of self doubt.

And man, I love to write. And I love to listen to people. This is my God-given talent; there is no doubt in my mind about that. So the nerves and the juggling things at home to create my own work space and time ... they are worth it. Because as much as I try to calm the chaos of our everyday lives - the kind of chaos that comes with daddy working on the road, me virtually single-parenting, and a house full of kids and animals - there is a special kind of rush that comes from taking a pile of scribbled notes from half a dozen interviews and weaving those words together into a cohesive and relate-able story, on a deadline. That never gets old.

So ... this will be an adventure for me. For my whole family, probably, because ... ya' know ... I'm so good at sharing.

*ahem*

But I'm doing it for me.  And I will be just fine.

The only thing we can really count on ... is change.

Forget death and taxes. "Change" is forever the word of the day for the Pipe Lifers. What's that they say? "A rolling stone gathers no moss?" I suppose back in the day being a "rolling stone" was not such a great thing. Always moving around, never sticking in one place or with one task for very long doesn't give a person (or family) time to grow roots ... hence, not much stability.

But I look at it differently. My life never lacks excitement; I'm always on my toes. There's no risk of monotony here (with the exception of the weather, but that's par for the course during Michigan winters). And I wouldn't know how to live any other way. Except that my life is all about being adaptable, so if I ever had a stretch of all-the-same-all-the-time I'd figure that out, too.

Here's the thing, though: I'm a girl who loves a plan. I have a need to know what's ahead. Good, bad or ugly, just let me know so I can be prepared ... that's what I'm always telling Steve. I am forever running through scenarios and what-ifs in my mind, and that's not always a bad thing. It's not worry, per se (though I've done my share of that, too), just a need to be one step ahead. No surprises. Even if we're taking the road less traveled, please just give me some notice so I can pack a bag, ya' know?

And so it is, and has been with us lately.

Not more than a week ago Steve was telling me he'd be working in Colorado longer than expected. I was making plans to fly out there with the kids for spring break at the end of March. I was also slightly cranky that our income taxes were still sitting on the accountant's desk, not done yet. I was counting on that refund to buy some plane tickets.

Well. God has His own timing, doesn't He? Steve may be leaving Colorado in the next couple weeks, taking a short-term job closer to home to get us by until the next big project - the one we've been waiting on - starts around the first of May.

And that would be a good thing, because having Steve within a day's drive from home would make it much easier for us to visit. I haven't seen my sweetheart since December 30th and that's just too long.

I'm sure glad I didn't have a chance to buy those plane tickets to CO. Hmph.

Of course nothing is ever "official" until it actually happens, so I try not to get too excited. The key for me is staying busy here at home, and I've certainly been doing that lately. Aside from the usual shuttling kids around and keeping the household running smoothly, there's always plenty of organizing and decluttering to do, and I've gotten some painting done in the kitchen and the hall bath. This week Sam and I tore up the nasty old carpet in the living room. I don't have anything to replace it with yet, but I'm not scared to walk around on sub-floors for a while. (Helloooo, summer project.) My allergy-prone body is already thanking me for getting that carpet out of here. Steve's not gonna' recognize the place by the time he gets home again.

And the dogs, of course, keep me busy while the kids are at school during the day. I'm looking forward to warmer weather when I can enjoy being outside with them as much as they enjoy being out there.

That's about all I've got as far as updates on us. Not a whole lot of news ... and that's not all bad.

Catching up. And ... the Globetrotters!

Dang. It's been two weeks since I last posted. (I always feel like I'm going to confession when I say that. And I'm not even Catholic.) Anywho, life has been moving along at a swift pace and the big story of the day - whether it be health, job, weather, or child-related - just depends on the day.

Today I am thankful it's Friday. Kinda' wishing it was payday Friday, but nonetheless thankful that the weekend is more or less upon us. Because, frankly? I am tired of little people being angry at me just for doing my job and sending them off to school every day. Well. Every day that they have school, anyway, and they're not too sick to go. Between illness and crazy weather it's a crapshoot lately.

Aside from the occasional crankiness from the offspring, and some dreary-weather-induced sleepiness, things are good these days. I feel like I'm in a groove ... not to be confused with a rut, which I am also quite familiar with. No, this is definitely a groove - a good one - and I am thankful for God's eternal grace. Because I can get a little cranky sometimes, too. *ahem*

So let's see.

Kids. At parent/teacher conferences I heard glowing reports from Rachel's teachers. She is a straight-A student, is "just the right amount" of competitive, is a joy to have in the classroom, is helpful to others and meticulous in her work. Sam? Has a lot of potential. His grades do not reflect his natural ability to soak up information like a sponge. He doesn't need notes to ace open-note tests (and it's a good thing because he never takes any notes). Sam is the kind of kid who adults who have had to work so hard for everything get incredibly frustrated with, and some tell him so. But telling a 14-yr-old boy that if he doesn't apply himself today he'll regret it in 10 years is not a great source of motivation. Alas, we continue to search for the ultimate motivator. It's a moving target.

Steve is still in Colorado, and will be there a bit longer than originally planned. He knows where he is headed next - Kentucky - but that job keeps getting pushed back to a later start date. I am really trying to look at this in a positive light, even though it means I don't really know when I'll see him again. It's definitely a good thing that he has been working all winter. And the longer he stays in CO the better chance the rest of us have at making a trip out there and seeing a place we've never seen before. He's renting a cozy little apartment there, which I think makes it a little easier to be away from home. And the weather's not half bad where he is. But I sure do miss him.

As for me, I've been keeping busy around the house, checking things off my to-do list and generally holding things together. Much to the dismay of my children I have been keeping pretty good tabs on the housekeeping (and those who know me know this is quite an accomplishment). Keeping things picked up makes it much easier to vacuum and dust on a regular basis, which keeps my wicked allergies at bay. And speaking of those allergies, I am currently doing some food "challenges" to test my body's reaction to foods I am sensitive to. I pick one (this week it's white potatoes) and eliminate it from my diet for four days, then eat a bunch of it on the fifth day. I have to take note of everything I eat, how I feel all day long, yada yada. Fun times.

I've also been working with the dogs several times each day. Teaching an old dog new habits (forget the tricks) is proving much harder than teaching the ginormous puppy. I try to reserve judgment about Ladybug's intellect and hope my persistence pays off. I just want to be able to greet guests without having to apologize for my dogs' obnoxiousness. Is that too much to ask?

Other than that, it's been more of the same ... budget and pay bills, taxi kids here and there, laundry, cooking and cleaning, wash, rinse, repeat.

Oh! I got a seed catalog in the mail the other day. *happy sigh* My garden beds might be covered in snow now, but it won't be long ...

And finally, the kids and I and their Aunt Sue went to see the Harlem Globetrotters last weekend. My brother-in-law and Sue had received the tickets as a gift at his company's Christmas party and he wasn't interested in going, so Sue and I took the kids. It was a total blast. We were able to go in early and hang out on the court with some of the team members, take pictures, and then stay for the game. It was a great experience and we made some lasting memories.

Here are a few pictures:

Teenage boy would not smile to save his life.

 Pre-game fun on the court. That really tall guy? That's Stretch. He's 7'4".

Courtside, baby!

"Mom. Would you stop taking pictures?"

Handles helped us spin the ball on our fingers. This guy was hilarious throughout the game.

MC with Globie the mascot.

Check out Bull up there on the basket. He was actually dancing up there.

 And ... autographs after the game.

Good times.

Day by day.

Happy Halloween! Do you dress up? Have (or still have) kids in your house who do? This afternoon I will attend my last school Halloween party; next year when Rachel hits Middle School the parties will be a thing of the past. I'm ok with that. I've had my fun. I do love seeing all the kids dressed up, though. And we always have a hoot trick-or-treating ... though tonight I think it's going to be pretty cold and maybe raining, so I won't be sorry to see that over for the year, either.

Geesh, I'm just the life of the party, huh?

I'll actually be glad to have a little something to distract me this afternoon because at the moment I'm just sitting around, bummed out that Steve is already back on the road. He finished up his testing, got packed up and has already taken off for Colorado where his next job awaits. I'm sad. I get more sad every time we part. Steve is the love of my life and my best friend and I just love having him around. But I'm also so proud of him and the work that he does, and I try to do everything I can to support him from the homefront. We're hoping he will make it home for Thanksgiving, which is only three weeks away - very doable, we've certainly gone that long without seeing each other before - but for some reason it feels different this time ... I think because Steve is going to a place we aren't familiar with, and it's so much farther away than he has worked in recent years.

Anyway, that's the news for now. We take things day by day and look forward to being together as a family again. In the meantime the kids and I have much to do to keep us busy - basketball, bowling, Girl Scouts, school work, life in general - and of course, Halloween activities this afternoon and evening.

Boo! Be safe out there!

Clean Slate Sunday: 10.21.12 edition

Can you hear that happy sigh? That's me. I'm tired ... glad bedtime is near. And feeling blessed to have some wonderful memories to think of as I drift off tonight.

Steve was home for the weekend - something I hadn't been expecting. I'm always happy just to have him around, even if we don't have anything special planned. But it was a busy weekend for us: Steve took Sam to his bowling league on Saturday, we had dinner with my folks Saturday night (our annual get-together prior to mom and dad going to Florida for the winter), then today we spent a big chunk of time at church followed by a luncheon/celebration for our pastor's 25th year of ordination. I was so happy to be a part of his special day, and it was obvious Pastor Bill was touched by having so many people there to celebrate in his honor. We would have rushed off to get Rachel to a Girl Scout meeting, but that was canceled because so many girls and their families are ill ... good call by her leaders, if you ask me.

I was happy to have the afternoon free so I could take a nap; I didn't get much sleep last night because I was up and down with a sick puppy. I was awfully worried about him when he didn't eat this morning, but he seems to have recovered just fine, thank God.

So the kids are tucked into bed, the dogs have been taken out for one last stroll around the yard, and I am ready for the clean slate of a fresh week, starting Monday morning. The most exciting news for this week is that the project Steve has been working on in Detroit all summer is complete, so after Tuesday he is done on that job and he will be home - and pulling the travel trailer with him - on Wednesday. We're not sure where he will go next or when, but for the first time in ... ok, ever ... I am not worried about where this road will take us. He has lots of job leads out there, and standing job offers with folks he has worked with before, so we will be fine. I am looking forward to having a few days or even a couple of weeks to enjoy having him here with me and the kids.

Yep. That's a happy sigh.

Elements of a mighty fine summer.

We have not had any grand adventures by most people's standards, and - as my daughter keeps reminding me - our summer days are flying by all too quickly. But each day there is something - some small moment that is what I would call an element of the perfect summer.

Life is chaotic at best. It's a good chaos. We try to pack so much into these days and make them memorable while still getting the stuff of everyday life done. Bills must be paid, laundry must be done (occasionally), house must be tidied up (eventually), various appointments must be kept (regular check-ups with doctors and dentist, but also the hair, people ... we must not let the pool water ruin our hair). And in between all of that - or despite it (and seriously, could I use more dashes or parentheses to interrupt my thoughts? I talk this way, too, lately. Ask anyone.) - we somehow manage to have loads of fun and I find quiet moments to ponder life's ... well ... to ponder life.

The kids and I have traveled to Ypsilanti (MI) to hang out with daddy a couple times. I've been down there once by myself. Heaven, that was. I did a little solo shopping on my way there. And back. My kids are older now but shopping all by myself still feels like a privilege. And I don't even like shopping all that much.

We were there in Ypsi (call it "Ip-see" or "Yip-see" ... nobody cares) for the 4th of July, which was different for us because we missed our neighborhood get-together and fireworks party for the first time in, like, ever. But it was nice to be together as a family and to create some new memories: all four of us swimming and laughing together in the lake at the campground, going to bed early and then me and the kids quietly slipping out in our jammies to watch the fireworks being shot off all around us.

The kids. Summer is really all about them, isn't it? It's their break from school and they want to pack in as much fun stuff as they can. Sam is currently away at his second week of summer camp. The first week was at church camp and this week is at a youth camp just down the road from home. I'm so glad he enjoys it ... and frankly, he needs the time away from his mama and sister to be a boy and make friends who are boys and do boy stuff and hang out with some good male role models. I have had some memorable moments with Sam this summer for sure, but I think what I will remember most is how I have begun to look up to him - literally - when I talk to him. He is 13 and on the cusp of becoming a man in so many ways. I pray regularly that I am up to the task of being the mom he needs me to be. I do love who he is today and who he is becoming. And I love those mornings when I look up from whatever I am doing in my gardens and he is there, and we talk.

And Rachel. Our little spitfire. She helped me plant my veggie garden and planted her own flower garden for cut flowers. We are learning together. This week while it's just us girls we are redecorating her bedroom. The girl knows what she wants, and that includes purple, teal and white paint. And peace signs. Pictures? Oh yes, there will be pictures. I think what I will remember most about this summer, the summer of Rachel's 10th year, is how she continually cracks me up with her wit. Sometimes she means to be funny, other times she's just saying what's on her mind. It might get her into trouble occasionally, though mostly it's harmless and in good fun. But oh, it is a glimpse into how quickly her mind works, and that? Is rather frightening. In a good way.

When I think about what we have done this summer (which is only half over, by the way) I think of afternoons spent floating in the pool when both the air and the water were 80-some degrees. I think of standing in the dollar store and trying on the god-awfullest blinged-out sunglasses and laughing with Rach and her Aunt Sue. I think of exchanging thoughts with a friend about a book we've read that turned out to be the perfect reading material for this season in our lives. I think of cool mornings standing on the patio sipping coffee and watering my garden(s).

Oh, my gardens. I have gotten so much joy from my gardens this summer. They really deserve their own post with pictures, and I'm going to do that soon. But I can tell you all the work I put into creating this space for myself - for my whole family, really, but we all know who enjoys it most - was well worth it. The gardens are always works in progress, and that's part of the fun. There is always something to do, but nothing so pressing that I can't sit and enjoy a visit with a dear friend and listen to the bees buzzing around the squash blossoms or the hummingbirds zipping up to the petunias for a drink.

Summer is a busy time for pipelinin' and that means I don't get to see much of my husband. We sure do enjoy the times we are together, though. That old saying, "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is spot on. And when we're not together ... when I am here at home, or at the campground in our travel trailer waiting for Steve to get done with work for the day, I praise God in Heaven for this life. I am truly in awe over how He has orchestrated our lives to give us everything we need and then some. Those "elements" of a perfect summer? Sometimes they are those fleeting thoughts that make me smile while I'm washing dishes or packing bags for another road trip: my husband, willing to do what it takes to provide for his family and allow me to be a homemaker; his texts and e-mails just to say "good morning, have a great day, I love you;" his suntanned face. Sometimes they are tangible, like the new gun and box of .22 shells Steve brought home last weekend, and the fun we all had doing some target shooting.

It might be half over, but that means we still have plenty more summer to enjoy before the kids hit the books again. I'm here! I haven't abandoned my blog! But for as much as I love writing and recording these precious moments, if I have a choice between sitting and writing or wandering outdoors to check the green bean plants or to jump in the pool, the plants and the pool - and the kids - will win every time.

OK, almost every time.

Here's hoping you find joy in your day today. I'm going outside to play.

Four years.

April 2nd has been on the brain for a couple weeks since we learned today would be the day Steve would be back to work. And it finally hit me a few days ago - April 2nd was the last day I worked in an office at a full-time job.

That was four years ago.

At the time it was pretty monumental for our family and a huge leap of faith for me to walk away from my job to be a stay-at-home mom. Because even after you crunch the numbers and see how much it really costs to commute to the office, order out lunch a couple times a week, keep yourself looking presentable, pay the daycare lady, and keep up with all the incidentals that pop up, there is a sense of security in knowing you have someplace to be every day, and at the end of the week that check will be deposited into your bank account.

As it turned out, my job wasn't helping us all that much financially. And if you account for all the emotional turmoil I put myself through over not being available enough for my kids, my job didn't help at all.

It wasn't that particular job. I didn't hate it. It was the job, the kids, the house, the husband, the bills, the responsibilities, and on and on ... and I lost the ability to focus on any one thing. When I made that mental list of priorities my family was at the top of the list. And that job - the one I didn't hate, but didn't love either - was keeping me from doing everything I could for the people I love most.

Honestly, I don't even remember April 2, 2008. There was no grand exit or anything. Just lots of hugs and well wishes from my co-workers. But I do remember the days following. For about two weeks I slept every chance I got. It was like I had been running a marathon and it was finally over and my body needed to recover. And I do remember that the weather was beautiful that spring, and many evenings I took a walk with Sam and Rachel. It was refreshing ... new ... and I felt so good.

The past four years have been interesting for us, and we sure have had our share of highs and lows. There have been times when I thought it might be necessary for me to join the workforce again - and I was willing to do whatever I needed to help support my family - but I think I finally figured out that getting a job isn't the answer. Walking by faith ... trusting that God will take care of us ... that's the answer.

So today feels like a new beginning for us. Maybe a little more symbolically than really, but the excitement over what's to come? It's there. I look at the future with a little less (OK, a lot less) trepidation than I did four years ago on this day.

There are even more great things ahead for us. I just know it.

Clean Slate Sunday: The end of Spring Break '12 edition

I'm happy. We had a wonderful week while Sam and Rachel were on spring break and Steve was home getting ready for the start of a new venture. I'm sure the kids would have liked to be a little busier, but I rather appreciated not traveling and being able to stick close to home.

Of course we waited until the last minute to get a few things done, so Steve and I got up early this morning and I helped him finish packing up the trailer. Mostly by saying, "Don't forget to take (fill in the blank)" and sipping coffee so I wouldn't fall asleep in the middle of Pastor Bill's sermon today.

It was a nice week of reconnecting and reminiscing, and I'm still a little giddy at the idea that we will see Steve again in a few days. We might get to see him every weekend until the kids are out of school for summer, if all goes well. We're all pretty excited about that. It's the little things, I tell ya'.

Steve and my dad and my brother Jim will be working together. Again. They headed out this morning to their home-away-from-home base in southern Michigan, having the trailers set up and the job site checked out by the time I talked to Steve again this evening.

Handsome trio, aren't they? 

Dad, Steve, Jimmy.

They're a force to be reckoned with, these guys. I'm pretty proud of all of 'em.

Tomorrow begins a new week. Kids go back to school. Steve back to work. Me back to ... everything I do. Have a blessed week.

Quiet.

It's been pretty quiet here this week. The kids are on spring break and we don't have anything going on. Well, we have plenty to do, but not really any commitments, if that makes sense.

We've visited with friends, slept in, chilled out, and generally enjoyed having some time with Steve home. Sam stayed the night with my folks last night, which gave me and Rachel a chance to have a date night with daddy. The three of us went to the movies. This afternoon we took Rachel to my mom and dad's and brought Sam home and now he and Steve are duking it out on the PS3. I'm thinking it's a good time for me to settle in with a book and something hot to drink, as the summer-like weather we had a week ago has turned back to something a little more typical (read: COLD).

Steve is preparing this week to start his new job on Monday - he's had some work done on his truck, took a drug test, is working through some on-line training courses, and has a stack of paperwork to fill out. He'll also be loading up the travel trailer and taking that when he leaves Sunday. Hooray for the end of hotel season!

It's been so nice having Steve here. I say the same thing every time we're together as a family, and it's true. I appreciate our time together more than ever. This last stint with him working in Pennsylvania was tough for all of us. Steve was in an area with really crappy cell phone coverage and there were days when we didn't talk at all because of it. What makes this crazy lifestyle of ours bearable is technology - the ability to be in constant contact with each other through phone calls, texts, e-mails. When we don't have that, it's tough. And the distance ... well, it's not like we can take a quick weekend trip to see daddy when he's a 12-hour drive away. Starting next week he'll be in southern Michigan, much closer to home, and I can't tell you how excited I am about that. I can't wait for summer.

Even though we have nothing on the schedule the week seems to be flying by, as it always does when our time with daddy is limited. Tonight I'm just gonna' settle in and enjoy, and try not to think too much about next week when we'll all be back to the grind.

Moving right along ...

Nothing too exciting to report from the homestead these days. Steve is settling in with his new job in PA, and the kids and I are holding down the fort here and making plans to go see him as soon as they have a long weekend from school.

The weather has been bizarre. Snow one day, rain the next, then snow and wind, then a 40-degree day. We're closing in on February and the kids have had three snow (or ice) days from school, all within the past week. My animals (the four-legged ones, not the children) are wanting to spend more and more time outside as if they can feel spring in the air. And I feel it too. After such a mild winter if we end up getting hit really hard with snow now I won't know what to do with myself.

I've been working on knocking out a few DIY projects and I'm excited to share them in future posts. I'm particularly happy with a second-hand light fixture I polished up and will hopefully hang in our front room this weekend. I just have to pick up a piece of hardware at the Depot, and get over my fear of any jobs having to do with electricity.

Sam is really enjoying downhill skiing. Every week when I go to pick him up from ski club he talks my ear off all the way home. I'm excited for him. It's a great wintertime physical activity and he has been working hard at improving his grades so he can continue skiing.

Today Rachel learned in art class how to draw a self portrait. She used those skills to draw a portrait of me tonight. She was so proud of herself, and I was proud of her. I love these days.

So we're movin' right along. Livin' life. Day by day. Tomorrow's Friday - yeah for the weekend! And I'm looking forward to having some time to just chill out with the kids.

Clean Slate Sunday: 1.15.12 edition

Whew. I am in dire need of that clean slate this week. I feel like I am going in a hundred different directions and getting nowhere fast.

Or not moving at all. And getting nowhere fast.

Whichever.

I'm tired. I started typing out all the things I attribute my exhaustion to, but then I felt like a wuss. Or a whiner. And nobody likes a whiner.

Truth is we just have a lot going on. The kids are active, Steve is settling into a new job, and I'm getting used to having a regular chunk of time committed to a job, too. Although I wouldn't really call it a "job" ... I'm babysitting three days a week for some friends. I am happy to help them out and their toddler is an absolute joy ... but a toddler, nonetheless. I had forgotten how busy little ones can be at that age. I mean, I remember, but I'm older than I was when I was chasing my own kids around. That sure makes a difference. And after almost four years of being a stay-at-home mom, I'm accustomed to having my weekdays to myself during the school year.

So, yeah, it's just life. Perhaps I got way too into the relaxation of Christmas break and having Steve here and I'm still trying to pull myself out of it. My body wants to sleep in every morning, nap and eat and nap during the day, and do lots of nothing in between. My brain, on the other hand, has other plans and works overtime making lists of what needs to be done. Like laundry. Dinner. Taking the dog out. Grocery shopping. Dentist appointments. All that good stuff.

No lists tonight, though. I'm going to bed early and I'm taking a book with me. I plan to distract myself with whatever the story is until I fall asleep.

Tomorrow is a new day. A chance to start fresh. Bring it, Monday!

Just ... stuff.

Well hallelujah, Sam returned home from his first evening skiing with not a bump or bruise or broken anything. (!!!) As it should be. And on the 20-minute ride home from school - in which I was a wee bit tired because it was after 10 p.m. - he talked 100 miles an hour about who he hung out with, how he has to take lessons before he can ride the ski lift, what size his boots were, what he had for dinner, and on and on. And he cannot wait for next Wednesday to roll around. I love it.

He also talked about how cool it is that the kids are trusted to go off and ski, get a bite to eat whenever they are ready, and then meet back at the bus at a designated time. Ya' know what that's called? FREEDOM! I think he's pretty excited about that.

~ ~ ~

Today is Steve's birthday. Happy birthday, baby! I'm a little out-of-sorts because he doesn't get a signal on his cell phone where he's staying, so we aren't able to chat in the evenings like we usually do. But he called this morning and it was so good to hear his voice ... and I was able to tell him "happy birthday" when I finally remembered today is the 6th. Once the kids were both up and alert enough to talk, they called him and wished him a happy day, too.

This is the second year I haven't been able to be with Steve on his big day, and that kinda' bums me out. Birthdays are a big deal to me. But I can't complain because he's working and that's a good thing!

~ ~ ~

Poor Rachel has a dentist appointment this afternoon because she chipped a tooth. Or rather, a tooth chipped and she has no idea how it happened. So we're going to have that checked out and have her teeth cleaned and the usual X-rays and all that while she's there.

Do you think it would be too much to expect that once her sore tooth is taken care of her attitude would improve? Sheesh. Here's hoping.

~ ~ ~

Me? I've been on a housecleaning kick. Time to move some furniture around, catch all the dust bunnies and make everything look fresh. The Christmas trees come down tonight. We typically wait until Jan. 6 because a) we usually have a big bonfire for Steve's and his brother's birthday (yes, they share a birthday - his brother is exactly five years older), and b) it signifies Epiphany on the church calendar. We don't have plans for a bonfire this year, but it will be a good opportunity to remind the kids that the Christmas season doesn't necessarily end on December 25th.

Have a great day, y'all. TGIF!

A prayer for today.

Heavenly Father, every day (OK, almost every day) when I put my children on the school bus I pray you will watch over them and keep them safe in Your loving embrace. I pray Sam and Rachel will be guided to make good decisions and glorify Your name with their actions, and that they would love You and seek to please You.

Today I pray extra fervently (is that even a word? How about "I pray really really hard?") for Your protection over my elder child, as he will be hitting the slopes this afternoon with the ski club. This is his second time skiing, but the first time he'll do it surrounded by a bunch of goony teenage guys. And Lord, we know how teenage boys can be. I pray he wears his helmet like he promised he would, that he doesn't get too cocky about his abilities, that he keeps his body intact and unbroken, and most of all that he have fun ... for himself, with his friends, away from my ever-watchful eyes. Lord, if it is Your Will, may Sam develop a love for this sport that will encourage him to do all the right things so he is allowed to continue to participate.

Please give me the strength, dear God, to let go just a little bit, let the boy seek his passion, prove himself to be responsible and trustworthy, and begin to find his place in this world. Help me to turn angst over possible future hurts to celebration over new discoveries and endless possibilities.

And did I mention I'd like You to bring him back to me in one piece?

Father, I also pray today that Steve has a good first day on the new job. I'm sure it will be filled with paperwork and instruction and drug testing and all that preliminary stuff, but as the ball begins to roll I ask You to stoke that fire within my husband that keeps him excited about what he does. I thank You for the gift of Steven, Lord. I thank You for placing him in my life. I thank You for getting him through yesterday's travels safely, and I ask You to continue to watch over him.

Thank You for the crunchy snow outside that sparkles in the light of the front porch.

Thank You for the one-on-one time I will have with Rachel this evening.

Thank You for a warm home, pancakes for breakfast, a truck that started right up this morning, four-legged creatures to keep me company today, and a body with working arms and legs and heart and brain that is capable of so much.

And thank You for coffee.

Amen.