The gift of Clarity.

**big exhale**

Road trips have a way of helping me find my bearings.

Even though I love this place we call "home," while I'm away from it I tend to gain a little perspective ... a fresh view (that perhaps I'd lost over the longest. winter. ever.)

My adventurous spirit craved a change of scenery, a warmer climate, time spent with friends who speak with just a hint of a southern drawl. It was just what I needed for spring break this year, and lucky me! The weather timed things perfectly so that we missed the last of the snow showers while we were gone and the snow was almost completely melted from the yard by the time we got back.

While the kids and I were out in West Virginia visiting Steve last week we fell asleep to the sound of the peepers each night and woke up to birds singing every morning. It was heavenly. And sure enough, we're hearing them here at home now, too. Bliss.

This time around, despite the kids getting in a large helping of bickering during the days we didn't leave the campground, I came home feeling refreshed and with a renewed - or strengthened, maybe - sense of purpose. I have struggled over decisions made and directions chosen, but lately I feel like we're on track. I pray often for guidance - as a wife, a mom, a Christian, a friend, a steward - and while there is always room for improvement, today I have a sense of peace.

Dunkard Creek, near our campsite

We got some great family time in during our visit. We ate dinners together. The kids and I went shopping at the mall one day and Rachel finally got to spend her birthday money. I met up with and had a great visit with my girlfriend, Heather. One rainy afternoon Rach and I got hot cocoa and coffee and went on a book binge (lots of summer reading material!). We did a lot of chilling out, napping, reading (me), playing video games (the kids), and just enjoying the break.

My loves.

(This photo pretty well defines how different they are.)

 Camp chickens!

The girls were hanging out right around our trailer when we got there the first afternoon. Steve joked that he had them brought in specially for me, because he knew how much I'd love it.

 I did enjoy watching them scratching around all week!

Rachel enjoyed some quality time with our buddy's Basset Hound, Daisy.

Sweet ride, Sammy.

I'm always sad to have to leave Steve, but at the same time I leave happier because I have been with him. Back here at home I smile at some of the memories we made during this trip, and I look forward to being together as a family again when Steve comes home for Easter.

In lots of little ways I am continually reminded of what is important in my life - what is and what should be. And I am forever grateful that I am able to share my life - however unconventional our lifestyle may be - with these people I adore.

A midsummer's day.

It's Monday. It's freakishly hot. I have a ridiculously busy week ahead. But we had a wonderful weekend and today it's relatively quiet around here - and blessedly air-conditioned - so it's all good.

Steve was home for the weekend. It's always good to have him here.We visited with family and friends, but there never seems to be enough time to get around to everybody, or do all the things we'd like to do as a family. I don't really bother asking him to do any projects around the house anymore ... time is just too precious to not be making memories.

Speaking of memories, I finally bought myself a new camera after more than a year without one (because a certain female offspring dropped mine on the pavement while visiting Washington DC last year). I was looking forward to getting a fancy-schmancy setup that I could really sink my teeth into and challenge myself with. I ended up going for something less fancy, but a step above the pocket-sized point-and-shoot I used to have. I've been playing around with it when I can pry it out of Rachel's hands. (Yeah, I sprang for the extended warranty.)

My doggies make good test subjects.

Don't you just love Gunnar's expressive face?

I had him at the vet last week. He's 103 lbs. of pure, exuberant puppy.

And Ladybug. Old grey face. Still smiley.

 

I will need to pull together all these Mom-and-Rach self portraits when she graduates from high school. We're kind of obnoxious with these.

 

 

I can never get enough of this guy, though.

We spent part of the weekend in a sweltering gymnasium watching Rachel play basketball in a tournament. Her team got their butts handed to 'em in four of their five games. They lost the last game, too, but at least they were a little better matched with that team. It was definitely a learning experience, and I was so proud of the girls for playing their hearts out long after the point other teams would have given up.

 Here's Rachey sinking a free throw.

 

 And sweatin' her tail off. She played hard!

Now Sam is off to another week of summer camp, Steve is traveling back to W. Virginia today to be back to work tomorrow, and Rach and I have the week to do some girly stuff. She promptly made plans to go spend the night at a friend's house. Hmph. Fine by me. I've got plenty to do.

Bring it.

Yesterday it was so warm outside I had windows open in the house.

On December 4. In Michigan.

This morning? Not so much.

We keep getting teased with a little snow here and there, but it melts within a day or two. Up until now I've enjoyed what we got but I was only marginally ready for a big snowfall. Rachel helped me do the last of the tidying-up outside last night though, so now I'm ready for the fluffy white stuff to start piling up and to stick around.

Except I'm not. Because Sam is still on crutches and I worry that he will slip and fall. He has just shy of two weeks before he goes back to the doctor to have his cast taken off. And then I'll be ready. Maybe. Because as soon as the snow starts to pile up and Sam has the OK from the doctor, he's going to start bugging me to hit the slopes. Hhhhh.

Praise God for healthy, active children, right?

I really am ready for some snow. I actually saw some dandelions in the yard yesterday while I was out playing with the dogs. For serious! All this grey and blah out there and then I see these BRIGHT YELLOW flowers poking their heads up. Tough little suckers. I hope they enjoy the snow, too. Ha!

But seriously. Christmas is 20 days away and I would really love a white Christmas. Every day I play my Pandora "White Christmas" station while I putter around the house, and I leave the lights glowing on our teensy little tree.

That tree, by the way, looked like a hot mess this morning. We have had some close calls with the dogs bumping into the table - or the domino effect of chair, then table, and the tree goes a wobblin' - but so far she's still standing. Gunnar can get his nose pretty high, though, so he can slide stuff right off tables, countertops ... basically any surface where you've put something to keep it away from him.

Exhibit A:

 Our makeshift tablecloth-turned-tree-skirt.

Gunnar grabbed one little corner with his mouth, apparently thinking the tree wanted to play a game of tug with him.

I caught it before the whole thing came tumbling down.

Exhibit B:

 Stockings will not be hung until Mr. Gunnar is safely crated in the bedroom on Christmas Eve.

Aww. Despite his daily shenanigans, there is the occasional Christmas card-worthy photo. How could anyone not love this face?

He's ready for snow, too.

Clean Slate Sunday: 9.16.12 edition

Here we are two weeks into the school year and I'm finally getting a handle on the whole routine again. Last week I had something going on every day in addition to having to pick Sam up from football practice every evening and attending his game on Wednesday, and by Friday night my brain and my nerves were fried. Fortunately we had an easy weekend and I was able to spend most of it at home catching up on a few things I had neglected during the week. Shoot, I didn't even get out of my pajamas on Saturday.

Now it's Sunday night and I am rejoicing in the calm and quiet. When the kids went to bed I turned off the lights and headed to my room, too. I have one dog snoring at the foot of the bed, a cat snuggled up next to her, the puppy asleep in his crate in the corner, and me with clean sheets and PJ's and my laptop. And peace.

It's been a while since I've done a Clean Slate Sunday post, but I would like to get back into the habit. Sunday nights have historically been one of my favorite times of each week - a time when we settle in early, prepare for the week ahead and look forward to new beginnings. My CSS posts began as a way for me to review what I had accomplished over the past few days and make a plan for the coming week. I need at least that much structure in my life. Planning is good. Lack of planning, not so good.

So I'm looking forward to the week ahead. It will be busy, but the calendar isn't quite so crowded as it was last week. I'm happy I will have a little more time to be at home taking care of business, doing some cleaning, and lots of puppy training. We're working on the basics right now: sit, stay, come, down, that kind of stuff. And continuing housebreaking, of course. It's been interesting doing all this with the puppy while still trying to accomplish some of those basics with a stubborn old hound dog who still has terrible manners. (Not for lack of us trying, either.) But for the most part it's great having two dogs in the house. They have become fast friends and they play and play and play until they wear each other out or we put them in separate corners, which is what usually happens. Only because we get sick of the barking. Because apparently chasing each other around the furniture, playing tug-o-war with toys or terrorizing the cats isn't enough. We must also make noise! Aye yi yi. We're working on teaching them to use their inside voices. But there again, we've been trying to get Ladybug to stop barking when told to for four years now. So far? FAIL. That whole hunting/barking thing is pretty deeply engrained in that one.

Anywho, I've been trying to get a picture of these dogs roughhousing over the past couple of days because they look so stinkin' funny. Gunnar pulls his lips back and shows those vicious puppy teeth, and Ladybug basically pins him to the floor by the neck. He pulls a sneak attack and nibbles at her hind legs, so she whips around and chases him until he squeezes into the space between the back of the couch and the wall (which will be impossible - or at least much tougher - for him in a couple months). I got a dozen pictures with two black-and-tan blurs, a couple videos with lots of barking going on, and this:

The panting puppy with crazy alien eyes, poised to defend himself against the howling hound.

It's a pretty accurate picture of our days lately. It's like the canine UFC around here. Last pup standing gets the peanut butter-filled Kong. Or something like that. Fun times.

A prayer for my children.

 Rachel, all color-coordinated and ready for the first day of school!

Big brother would not allow a First Day picture. So uncool, mom.

Heavenly Father, thank you for the gifts of Sam and Rachel. Please watch over my children and keep them safe as I send them out into the world today. I pray they will be beacons of light to others. Guide them with Your hand and help them to make wise choices, have a positive outlook, and be respectful. Keep their minds open to learning, both from their books and through relationships.

Bless all the people who care for our children throughout the day: the school bus driver, their teachers and administration, the lunch ladies, playground aides and coaches. May they each have a heart for teaching, and lots and lots of grace.

Lord, thank you for the opportunity to be a homemaker. I look to You to help me make the most of my time so that at the end of the day I am focused on simply loving my children and giving them a comfortable place to call "home."

And thank you for the rain. May it be a sign of new beginnings and fresh starts. Amen.

Puppy training and back-to-school time.

Our new puppy sure is creating a lot of smiles around here.

Look at this. How can he not?

Gunnar is a quick study. He's learning his name, he knows to head for the door when we say "let's go potty," and he has even figured out how to weasel his way into Ladybug's heart. Or is it under that poor old dog's skin? A little bit of both, I think.

He has spent the last two nights sleeping in the dog crate with very little protest. We've gotten up 2-3 times every night (and by "we" I mean me and Gunnar) to go outside which is vaguely reminiscent of middle-of-the-night wakeups when we had babies. No wonder I'm so tired.

While we're getting used to having another four-legged friend in the house we're also getting used to a new routine. Sam is now into daily practices for football and it seems like we have something else going on in addition to that every day. Last night Sam and I went to his back-to-school night. Sam had a doctor's appointment first thing this morning and tonight Rachel and I are going to her BTS night while Sam is at practice. It's busy, but it's good. Well. It's good at the moment. It wasn't so good last night when everyone was tired and the kids were bickering and I had my fill of it and went a little ballistic on them. Everyone's a little calmer and kinder today, though. Amazing how that works.

The weather's been pretty warm lately, but the mornings are quite cool. I'm starting to pull plants from the garden and toss flowers that have run their course. Time to simplify outdoors and start to think about doing some organizing and decluttering in the house. I'm looking forward to having some time during the day to focus on that kind of stuff without having kids going behind me and undoing it all.

Six days to go before they start school. Six. Days.

 

Elements of a mighty fine summer.

We have not had any grand adventures by most people's standards, and - as my daughter keeps reminding me - our summer days are flying by all too quickly. But each day there is something - some small moment that is what I would call an element of the perfect summer.

Life is chaotic at best. It's a good chaos. We try to pack so much into these days and make them memorable while still getting the stuff of everyday life done. Bills must be paid, laundry must be done (occasionally), house must be tidied up (eventually), various appointments must be kept (regular check-ups with doctors and dentist, but also the hair, people ... we must not let the pool water ruin our hair). And in between all of that - or despite it (and seriously, could I use more dashes or parentheses to interrupt my thoughts? I talk this way, too, lately. Ask anyone.) - we somehow manage to have loads of fun and I find quiet moments to ponder life's ... well ... to ponder life.

The kids and I have traveled to Ypsilanti (MI) to hang out with daddy a couple times. I've been down there once by myself. Heaven, that was. I did a little solo shopping on my way there. And back. My kids are older now but shopping all by myself still feels like a privilege. And I don't even like shopping all that much.

We were there in Ypsi (call it "Ip-see" or "Yip-see" ... nobody cares) for the 4th of July, which was different for us because we missed our neighborhood get-together and fireworks party for the first time in, like, ever. But it was nice to be together as a family and to create some new memories: all four of us swimming and laughing together in the lake at the campground, going to bed early and then me and the kids quietly slipping out in our jammies to watch the fireworks being shot off all around us.

The kids. Summer is really all about them, isn't it? It's their break from school and they want to pack in as much fun stuff as they can. Sam is currently away at his second week of summer camp. The first week was at church camp and this week is at a youth camp just down the road from home. I'm so glad he enjoys it ... and frankly, he needs the time away from his mama and sister to be a boy and make friends who are boys and do boy stuff and hang out with some good male role models. I have had some memorable moments with Sam this summer for sure, but I think what I will remember most is how I have begun to look up to him - literally - when I talk to him. He is 13 and on the cusp of becoming a man in so many ways. I pray regularly that I am up to the task of being the mom he needs me to be. I do love who he is today and who he is becoming. And I love those mornings when I look up from whatever I am doing in my gardens and he is there, and we talk.

And Rachel. Our little spitfire. She helped me plant my veggie garden and planted her own flower garden for cut flowers. We are learning together. This week while it's just us girls we are redecorating her bedroom. The girl knows what she wants, and that includes purple, teal and white paint. And peace signs. Pictures? Oh yes, there will be pictures. I think what I will remember most about this summer, the summer of Rachel's 10th year, is how she continually cracks me up with her wit. Sometimes she means to be funny, other times she's just saying what's on her mind. It might get her into trouble occasionally, though mostly it's harmless and in good fun. But oh, it is a glimpse into how quickly her mind works, and that? Is rather frightening. In a good way.

When I think about what we have done this summer (which is only half over, by the way) I think of afternoons spent floating in the pool when both the air and the water were 80-some degrees. I think of standing in the dollar store and trying on the god-awfullest blinged-out sunglasses and laughing with Rach and her Aunt Sue. I think of exchanging thoughts with a friend about a book we've read that turned out to be the perfect reading material for this season in our lives. I think of cool mornings standing on the patio sipping coffee and watering my garden(s).

Oh, my gardens. I have gotten so much joy from my gardens this summer. They really deserve their own post with pictures, and I'm going to do that soon. But I can tell you all the work I put into creating this space for myself - for my whole family, really, but we all know who enjoys it most - was well worth it. The gardens are always works in progress, and that's part of the fun. There is always something to do, but nothing so pressing that I can't sit and enjoy a visit with a dear friend and listen to the bees buzzing around the squash blossoms or the hummingbirds zipping up to the petunias for a drink.

Summer is a busy time for pipelinin' and that means I don't get to see much of my husband. We sure do enjoy the times we are together, though. That old saying, "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is spot on. And when we're not together ... when I am here at home, or at the campground in our travel trailer waiting for Steve to get done with work for the day, I praise God in Heaven for this life. I am truly in awe over how He has orchestrated our lives to give us everything we need and then some. Those "elements" of a perfect summer? Sometimes they are those fleeting thoughts that make me smile while I'm washing dishes or packing bags for another road trip: my husband, willing to do what it takes to provide for his family and allow me to be a homemaker; his texts and e-mails just to say "good morning, have a great day, I love you;" his suntanned face. Sometimes they are tangible, like the new gun and box of .22 shells Steve brought home last weekend, and the fun we all had doing some target shooting.

It might be half over, but that means we still have plenty more summer to enjoy before the kids hit the books again. I'm here! I haven't abandoned my blog! But for as much as I love writing and recording these precious moments, if I have a choice between sitting and writing or wandering outdoors to check the green bean plants or to jump in the pool, the plants and the pool - and the kids - will win every time.

OK, almost every time.

Here's hoping you find joy in your day today. I'm going outside to play.

Quiet.

It's quiet here. Breakfast is done, kids shuffled off to school, dog taken out. I can hear the clock ticking. The refrigerator hums. The dog's nails clickety-click on the tile floor as she searches for a spot to settle in.

I'm enjoying the last few sips of my coffee before I dive into whatever I decide to work on today - probably the master bedroom and bathroom. Because somehow that's where everything without a home goes to live. It's one of the struggles - and benefits, really - of having no place else to put stuff. We sure don't have a whole lot of room to keep more stuff than what we really need or use or love. And since clutter makes me anxious, and I don't like being anxious, I'm forced to sort and purge those things regularly.

"Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful."                   

~ William Morris

What a great euphemism for life: we should sort through the clutter occasionally, and get rid of or pass along what we don't want or need. Old routines that don't work anymore, friends who drag us down, commitments that have us ... over-committed.

I don't even watch the news much anymore. Which is saying a lot because the news used to be my passion. But these days, with plenty to keep track of in my own life, the alternative to not knowing every detail of what's happening in the world is knowing all the details and being in a constant state of emotional unrest. It doesn't mean I don't do my own small part to make the world a better place; it just means I have made a conscious decision to focus my energy on my family and my home and the things that make my world a better place.

I enjoy the quiet. I thank God I am able to take the time to watch the sun come up and feel it warm my house as I wake up and prepare for the day. I look around and I see a home that I love and pictures on the walls of people I love. It makes me happy. With all this, what more do I need?

Four years.

April 2nd has been on the brain for a couple weeks since we learned today would be the day Steve would be back to work. And it finally hit me a few days ago - April 2nd was the last day I worked in an office at a full-time job.

That was four years ago.

At the time it was pretty monumental for our family and a huge leap of faith for me to walk away from my job to be a stay-at-home mom. Because even after you crunch the numbers and see how much it really costs to commute to the office, order out lunch a couple times a week, keep yourself looking presentable, pay the daycare lady, and keep up with all the incidentals that pop up, there is a sense of security in knowing you have someplace to be every day, and at the end of the week that check will be deposited into your bank account.

As it turned out, my job wasn't helping us all that much financially. And if you account for all the emotional turmoil I put myself through over not being available enough for my kids, my job didn't help at all.

It wasn't that particular job. I didn't hate it. It was the job, the kids, the house, the husband, the bills, the responsibilities, and on and on ... and I lost the ability to focus on any one thing. When I made that mental list of priorities my family was at the top of the list. And that job - the one I didn't hate, but didn't love either - was keeping me from doing everything I could for the people I love most.

Honestly, I don't even remember April 2, 2008. There was no grand exit or anything. Just lots of hugs and well wishes from my co-workers. But I do remember the days following. For about two weeks I slept every chance I got. It was like I had been running a marathon and it was finally over and my body needed to recover. And I do remember that the weather was beautiful that spring, and many evenings I took a walk with Sam and Rachel. It was refreshing ... new ... and I felt so good.

The past four years have been interesting for us, and we sure have had our share of highs and lows. There have been times when I thought it might be necessary for me to join the workforce again - and I was willing to do whatever I needed to help support my family - but I think I finally figured out that getting a job isn't the answer. Walking by faith ... trusting that God will take care of us ... that's the answer.

So today feels like a new beginning for us. Maybe a little more symbolically than really, but the excitement over what's to come? It's there. I look at the future with a little less (OK, a lot less) trepidation than I did four years ago on this day.

There are even more great things ahead for us. I just know it.

Happiness is ...

... a day when every song that comes on the radio feels like the perfect song.

... weather that turns out even better than the forecast.

... children who beg to stay outside and play just a little bit longer.

... the kind of sleep that comes after soaking up the sun all afternoon.

... leaving windows open all night to hear the peepers and feel the cool air.

... a good cup of coffee in the morning.

... an unexpected phone call from my hubby.

... the promise of more good days ahead.

Yesterday was one of those days I absolutely savor. I love, love, love the sound of all those tiny frogs in the marshy areas surrounding our house, chirping their welcome to spring. It's one of my favorite sounds, and since I know it will only last a handful of days I am always sure to take the time to listen and enjoy.

Happiness is having the time.

Happiness is also looking forward to having more time as a family.

Once again, Steve is going to be moving from his current job to a position with another company. The new gig will be closer to home and will provide a little plumper paycheck. Less distance, more money. No arguments from me.

Though if I'm honest with myself I have to acknowledge that little twinge of concern that is ever-present in my heart. The "what-ifs" of change. What if it doesn't work out? What if this wasn't the best choice? But as the years go by and I see over and over again that it always. works. out. the what-ifs become less and less of a factor for me. In fact, this time I surprised myself a little. When this latest opportunity came up I was nothing but excited. Probably mostly because it would reduce the distance between us from a 12-hour drive to a 4- or 5-hour drive within our home state. Five hours is a cakewalk for this family.

Like any other trade out there, pipeliners have all kinds of "you know you're a pipeliner if ..." jokes. Well, the wives and girlfriends of pipeliners have their own set of jokes, and most of them have to do with packing up everything important and being ready to hit the road faster than he can say "I got the call, baby. We're moving." That usually means packing up the RV, and we know several families who have sold their homes and truly live the nomadic lifestyle. We won't sell our house. Steve and I both need a home base, a place to retreat to when things get crazy. So we have two homes, more or less: one on wheels and one with roots.

Even though we don't travel with Steve (so I'm not packing our whole life into an RV in a very short amount of time), the sentiment of always be ready for change is the same. So I add a bullet point to his résumé, I direct phone calls and pass along messages, I pray for a smooth transition and safe travels. I plan my days so that once he's home from the current job I can help him get done everything he needs to get done so he can turn around and get back on the road. It's a routine we know all too well.

Summer is just around the corner. Change is in the air. It's all good. Life is good.

I'm happy.

Doomsday. Slightly less than ready.

Photo source

Every time I watch Hoarders on A&E (which I am kind of obsessed with) I get a little anxious and I'm prompted to get up and scrub the toilets or declutter a cabinet. In the same way, watching DVR'd episodes of NatGeo's Doomsday Preppers tonight with the kids has my head spinning, and now I feel like I need to make lists of things to do to prepare our family for a complete collapse of society.

Or nuclear warfare.

Or economic ruin.

Or a zombie apocalypse.

But I promised myself I would get to bed at a decent hour tonight so I can get up in the morning with enough energy to face my own two little zombies and prevent virtual ruin of life as I know it. Because seriously, there are days when I would much rather stare down the business end of a looter's gun than face the wrath of a certain teenager who doesn't want to get out of bed for school.

That said, the kids and I had some interesting conversation about our family's preparedness for cosmic events - extra food storage, sources for clean water, fuel, self-protection - and how some of those things come naturally to us as part of our way of life. I'm glad this is something they are interested in, because being prepared is never a bad thing, whether you're preparing for the end of the world or a short-term job loss. I'm not willing to spend 50 hours a week on it, though. Some of those Doomsday Preppers have quit their full-time jobs to spend more time creating their stockpiles of guns and food and training their family members to "bug out" in case of an attack on the homestead.

Not me. I'm not digging a moat around our property. I'm not adding onto the house just to store 55 gallon drums of wheat and corn. And I'm not spending my weekends instructing my children in tactical maneuvers. I'd rather get my fanny into bed early and pray that if the world ends while I'm sleeping the Good Lord takes me and my family with it.

Monday. And there is much to do.

Poor Ladybug is so confused. Daddy was here and now he's gone. The kids were here, now gone. And I'm not always here, but here I am today. And I'm buzzing around the house, cleaning and straightening and tripping over her because she is hot on my heels. When she's not following me around she's sitting in a chair by the window keeping watch.

 See?

I feel for her. The last few days have been a bit of a whirlwind and we're all out of our usual routine. It was so nice, as always, to have Steve home. He hit the road around 4 this morning to go back to PA. I imagine it will be spring break before we see him again. Boo. Sad face. Sad, sad face.

The good news is we definitely made the most of his time here. At the last minute we decided to take Rachel to a local hotel with a pool and water slide because that's what she wanted for her birthday - to swim. Actually she wanted a big ol' par-tay by the pool, but she settled for inviting one friend for one night at the hotel, eating out at her place of choice (that's kind of our birthday tradition) and cupcakes in the hotel room. Her birthday is tomorrow and she will turn 10. Ten big ones. Hardly seems possible. I'll bake a cake and we'll do a little something special for her tomorrow evening, too. Today is all about catching up on the stuff I ignored while Steve was here ... the usual: laundry, dishes, bills, and general housekeeping. And while I am sad he is gone again, I am definitely enjoying the quiet time alone, and I have plenty to do to keep myself busy.

We're back!

Oh boy, does it feel good to kick back in a recliner in my own living space and stretch my limbs after a loooong drive today. It took us 12 hours to get home - at least 11 of that in driving time, the other hour or so spent on potty breaks, snack stops and gasoline fill-ups.

Hmm. Maybe 10.5 hours of driving. Which by the way? I have decided is my limit.

But two days' worth of driving sun up to sun down - to Pennsylvania on Friday and back home again today - was worth every minute to be able to spend two full days together as a family. I think it was a morale booster for all of us.

I have lots to share about our trip, and a few so-so photos from the camera on my phone (because yeah, my camera was one of a handful of things I forgot to take with me) but it will all keep until tomorrow when I am a little less bleary-eyed.

For now, bedtime.

A thrifty find from the files of "Who Knew?"

I have this mental list of things I look for when I am out and about shopping. When I go to the grocery store I often (ok, always) buzz over to the home goods side of the store and check out the clearance racks. If I have a little extra time while I'm in town I swing by the Goodwill or Habitat ReStore to take a gander at what new items have popped up.

Some of the things I keep my eyes open for are creative storage pieces. Large, small, and anything in between. I pick up small baskets with straight sides as drawer dividers. I found an old dresser I spruced up to store extra place mats and table linens and candles near the dining room. I have learned that you can use just about anything in your decor - if it is useful or something you love, it works.

On a recent stop at Goodwill I was in the mood to dig. I'm not always. There could be treasures unknown at the bottom of a pile of plastic picture frames and old wooden coat hooks, and I have no problem leaving them for the next person. But that day something made me squat down to see what might be tucked in the back of a bottom shelf. There I found this:

It's glass.

It's Pyrex.

It's French.

And when I picked it up it was ... oh, less than sparkly clean. But it has all those little indentations and I pictured using it as a paint palette or as a little holder for jewelry - maybe rings and small earrings. Plus, I have this affinity for good, sturdy, clear glass. It goes with anything. What's not to love?

I thought the $2 price tag was a little steep for a second-hand item, but I liked it and was curious enough about it I decided to buy it. It took some searching on-line to figure out what it is.

I love teh Interwebz. Almost as much as I love thrifting.

My little jewelry sorter is actually an escargot plate. Snails! How fun is that?

Here's something even more fun: I've actually tried escargot. It wasn't bad. And the fact that I've eaten snails (well ... ONE snail) cracks my kids up.

An escargot plate. Who knew?

It's cool finds like this that make the search for thrifty treasures worth it.

Snow and rain and ice, oh my!

OK, that sounds kinda' dumb, but that's about what's going on today. The kids are home from school because it rained all night, hence there is a layer of ice on top of all the snow. Where there is not ice there is heavy slush. Bleh.

So we all got to sleep in, which was great. Because remember my dog Ladybug? Who freaks the heck out when the weather changes? Yeah. She was pawing at her crate and yelping at me at 2:20 this morning. So I got up and took her out in the rain so she could do her business ... and then stare at the rain. You would think a dog would want to curl up in her little den and pretend the world outside can't get her. But no, she wants to be out in it so she can see what's coming. I guess. It's like having a newborn with that middle-of-the-night business. And remember how sleep is one of my favorite pastimes? Yeah. Homegirl does not appreciate the 2 a.m. wake up call.

Alas, I still planned to get all kinds of stuff done around the house today. And then school was called off and I thought, "Great! I'll have extra hands to help me!"

Right. Let me describe the scene to you now.

Everyone is still in their pajamas. Elder child is on the couch munching on granola and watching Top Gear on BBC America. Younger child just stuck a giant star tattoo on the top of one foot and is now "dusting" a kitchen chair with a damp washcloth. Every few minutes she says, "Who else could I sell cookies to?" (She's a Girl Scout and taking orders for cookies, if any local readers are interested.) I keep telling the boy to turn the television down and thanking God I don't have to get out of my sweatpants today.

It's a rousing time here with the Pipe Lifers. Time to shake things up and get to work!

Have a great day.

'I got a bee in my bonnet.'

Ever hear that expression? Ever get that feeling? Like you've been pondering an idea and now you need to do something about it?

I got a bee in my bonnet last night - not sure why, but hey, when the mood strikes I figure I better use it to my advantage.

So what did I do? Not dishes. Not laundry. Not vacuuming. No shaking rugs or changing bed linens. No taking out the trash. All of which needed to be done.

No. The most pressing thing on my list was putting the Christmas decorations away. Which meant taking them down. Yes. It was January 19th and I still had bulbs and beaded garland and all sorts of Christmasy stuff hangin' around. Including a tree. NOT the "real" tree - the one we all insist we want, even though nobody wants to remember to water it; that was taken down weeks ago - but the smaller, artificial tree that was decorated with all the kids' ornaments from over the years. The one that stood in the living room.

It just didn't bother me all that much to still have it up. I seriously considered leaving it for a while longer. But then I remembered how dusty this house gets, and how much I hate dusting.

So I forced myself to get it all packed up and tucked away under the bed and in a closet. Even though I'm never quite ready to see the last of it go.

Clearing out those spaces gets me excited to do a little more decluttering around the house (it's an ongoing effort) and to tackle a couple DIY projects I've been meaning to get to. So here I go ... I'm going to write it here to keep myself accountable. First up: I need to figure out some sort of "system" for the kids' area near the front door. We put up sets of hooks for each of them a couple years ago and they quickly got into the habit of dropping/hanging their things where they need to go when they come in the door, but - and I'll show you with pictures - that area always seems to look unkept. Or rather, be unkept. I have some ideas for it, but we'll see how (or if) they pan out.

Wish me luck.

Savoring small joys.

Yesterday I had every intention of writing a post, but I opened my laptop and then just sat here staring at the screen. For a long time.

I'm fighting this emotional funk that threatens to suck the happy and content right out of me ... and I'm employing every resource I have to keep it at bay. Christmas music playing, our colorfully-lit tree glowing, cinnamon-scented candles burning, a mug of something yummy in my hand (great coffee, special hot chocolate, or a fizzy Diet Dr. Pepper, depending on the time of day), household tasks - the few things in life I can control - under way. I've been using a lot of this quiet time during the day to have some pretty deep conversations with God, too. And it still seems like more work than it should be.

Part of it is just my body's chemical makeup, and I know that. When the skies are grey and gloomy like they were yesterday my mood often matches it. Proof: today the sun is shining brightly and I'm much more active than I was yesterday when I loafed around most of the day and went to bed early.

We can't control the sun. Sometimes we can't control our circumstances. But I strongly believe that most of the time we can control our own attitude, which some days can make things a little brighter.

It can be the smallest thing that makes a difference. Yesterday, despite feeling like there was a black cloud hanging over me, I had a few moments of sheer joy which I so appreciated. One of them was enjoying the scent of freshly laundered clothes - MY clothes. The smell made me happy. The stack of clothes reminded me that even though I have a limited wardrobe these days, I still have choices. Another of those moments was wrapping a gift for a friend's birthday. It's nothing big - something I saw during my travels over the summer that reminded me of her - but I found some pretty paper and pulled out my scrapbooking supplies to make it a cute little package. It was fun. I got some creative juices flowing and it felt good to complete a task, even one so small. I've learned to savor those moments.

I have a feeling it will be my task in the weeks ahead to have more good days than not-so-good days. It might require some effort and a lot more hot chocolate, but it will all be worth it.

Now I think the sunshine is calling my name. We have precious few of these beautiful days left before the snow comes back with a vengeance, so I'm headed out to enjoy this one.

Stopping the clock. For real.

I'm not sure I was even aware this clock I bought recently for the dining room had a glass face.





Stress the word had.

It fell off the wall last night as Steve brushed by. I think he barely bumped the wall.

That "CRASH!" and the sound of breaking glass? Yikes.

Fortunately no family members were injured; just the clock.

Oops.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could really stop the hands of time and just hang out here for a while? Well, I'd really like to get over this ugly cold (or whatever it is) that I have, but other than that I'm really enjoying these few days with my sweetie here. He'll be gone again before we know it, back to the daily grind. It makes me sad to think about him leaving in a couple of days, even though I knew it was inevitable.

Yes. Life - and time - goes on.

Even the poor clock is back up on the wall, minus the glass, but working like a charm. 

And because in my world a broken clock can never be just a broken clock, there must be some great life analogy here, right? Like ... it's just what we do: when we get knocked down we pick ourselves (or each other) up, repair what we can, discard what we can't, and keep on moving.

Happy Tuesday!

We can't do everything.

The other day I was blog hopping and found a post from a mom who has gone scratch-cooking-gluten-free-no-sugar-and-I-can't-remember-what-else, and the gist of her post was this: we can't do it all. And ya' know what? She doesn't feel so bad about that.

It was a relief to read this from another mom. She has made the choice to feel good about the positive changes she and her family have made, and to not feel badly because they choose not to do other Potentially Really Good things. I totally dig that. Because for heaven's sake, who are these people who make us feel all sorts of guilty because we don't recycle our glass bottles or cloth diaper our children or make homemade bread from sprouted grains (whatever the hell those are)?

I read that particular post at the same time I was kicking around the idea of writing a sort of stream of consciousness post here. I thought I'd set a block of time, like "preparing dinner" and jot down every(unrelated)thing that came to mind while I did that one seemingly simple task.

Uhh. I decided my somewhat ADD self didn't need one more distraction while I'm cooking. But I couldn't get over the idea, so I thought I'd try a "virtual" stream of consciousness. (Does that even make any sense? Ha!)

OK. Imagine I'm making banana bread. Which I really am going to do today.

Here's what's happening in my head:

Banana bread. Good way to use up the bananas we didn't eat. Score one for not wasting food. Too bad we can't grow bananas closer to Michigan. That whole "eating local" thing. Too many bananas, need to double the recipe. Two cups times two is four cups. Rachel needs some help with her multiplication. Add flashcards to the shopping list. No, we have 3x5 cards, we'll make some. We don't need to buy things we can make ourselves or do without because eventually everything ends up in the trash. I wish we didn't create so much trash. I wonder how much of a difference it makes that we burn our paper instead of putting it in the trash. Definitely a good choice to toss all the fruit and veggie scraps outside instead of in the trash can. Maybe someday I'll actually have a compost pile again, to use on the garden. Deer ate it all last time; bad location. Deer ... I'm so proud of Sam for bagging his first buck. Venison will be back from the processor in a few days. I wish Steve was here 'cause he'd cut it up himself and save the cost of processing. But at least we have the cash to pay to have it done. We have the cash because Steve is working, and having a job is a good thing. Do I miss working? What am I talking about? I still work every day, just not "out there." I work for my family. Part of what I do is home cooking and making shopping lists and following a budget so we can live on one income. Add flour to the shopping list. I should probably start stocking up on baking supplies with the holidays coming. Lots of flour 'cause I want to try my hand at making pies. With crusts from scratch. How can I be 35 years old and never made a pie? There are moms out there teaching their 5-yr-olds how to make pies. Mmmm, apple pie. Do I have enough apples for pie? What are the best kind of pie apples? Note to self: look up pie recipes next time I get on-line. Or maybe I should forage for apples. We have lots of trees around here. Then they'd be free(!) and we all know the best kind of apples are free apples. I'll check into that. Even if they're not good for pie I can make some applesauce and freeze it. Freezers ... I really need to make an inventory of what's left in the freezers and make sure there's room for venison. Make sure to add cinnamon to the applesauce if I make it, 'cause Rachel loves cinnamon. I'd love some nuts in the banana bread but the kids don't care for nuts. Maybe some with chocolate chips and some with nuts? I should just make it how I like it and if the kids don't like it they don't have to eat it. But this is what I planned for an after-school snack. What time is it? Will these be out of the oven before the kids get off the bus? Hey! I bet I can find a flashcards app on my phone. I really need to cut back on the kids' TV time. Some people live without TV and survive just fine - better, even. So they say. Ah well, my kids love TV and it's a great reward after they do their chores. Chores? When was the last time I paid them for their chores? I need to make a new chore list. Maybe it should include helping make dinner. But I'm home all day, I can make dinner. And breakfast, too. I should do a menu plan and do once-a-month cooking. Then we'd definitely need freezer space. Where's the damn dog? On my bed again. I give up! She needs a bath, though. Has she had her heartworm medicine this month? Check the calendar. Crap. School pictures coming up. Another check to write. What a racket. I really want to have family pictures taken sometime. I'd like to lose some weight first, and I'll never do that if I eat this banana bread. 'Cause I like mine with a lot of butter. But it's so much better than buying boxes of snack foods at the store; at least I know exactly what goes into this bread. Sugar. Like my kids need more of that. Maybe we should try cutting back. I can't control what they do when they're not here, though, so they're gonna' get sugar anyway. What time is it? They'll be home an an hour and a half. Should I be driving them to school? I'm not crazy about some of the things they hear on the bus. But it would be crazy to use all that gas when they can ride the bus for free. Man, I really wish I had a stand mixer. Definitely need to invest in one before we start making our Christmas cookies this year. Gotta' stock up on those supplies. Wouldn't it be fun to do a cookie exchange with some girlfriends? I'd really like to have a get-together. Need to do some cleaning, though. Put spray bottles on the shopping list so when I use up all the cleaning supplies I have I can make my own. Natural cleaners are a good thing. But I'm not crazy about the smell of vinegar. What's that candle over there? I should swap out summery scents with fall scents. I like these candles that are made in the USA. Pumpkin pie candles make me want pumpkin pie ... hmmm ... maybe I can teach myself how to make pumpkin pie. And make several, and put them in the freezer, for the holidays, when we'll be making cookies, and budgeting so we don't spend too much on stuff we don't need, and I'll be using that new mixer (hopefully) to whip up some bread dough but I'll be damned if I'll use sprouted grains. I can't do it all! Oooooh, warm banana bread.

And it goes on like this all. day. long.

Aren't you glad you're not inside my head? You'd probably get motion sick, or at least a little dizzy.

I hope all that blather helps me demonstrate a few things.
1. We can't do it all. Most of us have to make choices about how we're going to contribute to saving the planet and/or humanity. Are we going to go "green" with our choices in building materials, household cleaners, transportation, food consumption? Are we going to become activists for wildlife? Are we going to focus on the political aspect and encourage others to only elect leaders who make the environment and/or high moral values their focus? Will we homeschool our children? Start a farming co-op? Fight the power?

2. Parenting is tough. Mom, dad, single, married, co-habitants, alone, surrounded by family and friends, whatever. It's hard. A few years ago I flooded a social worker with questions upon questions about raising children and you know what I was told? Just the fact that I was thinking about how I parent and questioning some of these things was a pretty good indicator that I'm a good parent. Whew. Hello, validation. My children are fed and clothed and have a roof over their heads. And they eat red meat. And boxed cereal and chicken nuggets. And they drink Kool-Aid and juice boxes sometimes. And milk! And I don't make them wear bicycle helmets. But I let them use power tools and occasionally drive my pickup down the driveway. I say "I" because for the most part I do the parenting while Steve is away. *shrug* I think we're doing fine.

3. Perfectionism can be incapacitating. I like to call myself a recovering perfectionist. In the past, if I didn't have time to do something perfectly (or whatever my vision of perfect was), I wouldn't even get started. Dieting, hanging pictures on the wall, writing a letter, folding towels ... any number of things I wouldn't do because I didn't have the time or energy to make it perfect. I have learned that it's OK to do some things "good enough" and save the pickiness (is that even a word?) for the things that really matter to me. Bonus: this has freed me from being judgmental of others' imperfections. *ahem* Mostly. What can I say? I'm a work in progress.

4. Don't take it personally. If I don't see you stopped next to me at the light, or I don't look up from my list when you walk by me in the grocery store, I'm probably having one of those stream-of-consciousness moments. Go ahead and nudge me. (Well, not with your car, but tapping me on the shoulder in the grocery store is alright.) I might just appreciate the escape from my own brain.

Aaaaand, this seems like the perfect spot to stop rambling for the day! At least publicly. Rest assured it will continue in my head. And I really do need to get baking. Ciao for now!

Fluffing the nest.

It's the first day of autumn!

Do you know what that means? Mmm. Nothing, really. But since the weather has been very autumn-like, I have begun that fall "nesting" thing. This time of year is when I start doing more cooking and baking and I look for ways to make our home a little cozier ... the afghans all get fluffed up in the dryer and draped over living room chairs ... I stock up on teas and hot cocoa mix and yummy coffee (bonus! because Sam is selling coffee packets for a school fund-raiser this year) ... the candles smelling of pumpkin pie and apple cider and fall leaves come out.

It's also the time of year I look around the house and think to myself, "Whoa. I really let this place go over the summer, didn't I?"

Some weeks ago I was bemoaning to my mother the fact that I hadn't found taken the time to mop my kitchen floor all summer. Ya' know what she told me? She hadn't either! "I can do that when it's too cold to go outside," she said. "It's summer and I've got things to do."

I felt marginally better.

But now that the air is a little more crisp most days I'm spending more time indoors and definitely seeing all those little things that need doing. Like the pile of dog hair that has gathered under the breakfast table and might grow legs if I don't vac it up pretty soon. And the rug by the front door that is so awesome at capturing sand from our shoes? Yeah. I think somebody somewhere is missing the sand in their sandbox.

Beyond some of the basic cleaning tasks, I would love to bring out some fall-ish decor. I'm not into holiday-specific decorations (except for Christmas) so whatever I use has to be ... well ... useful. Or at least have some staying power because whatever I bring out now will be around until Thanksgiving.

While I surf the Web for inspiration I can't help thinking don't these people have dust in their houses?

Or pets?

Take a suggestion from Martha Stewart, for instance:

 Beautiful mantel decor with a wreath of feathers and leaves.

This would last about 42 seconds in my house.

Well. I don't have a mantel, but that's beside the point. CATS! I do have cats. And they would have this arrangement scattered hither and yon in no time. 

Here's an idea from Better Homes and Gardens:

It's a cute way to add some color to an entryway, or wherever.

Again with the animals. Is my dog the only dog that would be gnawing on those gourds?

Or do I just have the most ill-mannered pets on the planet?

I do love the mums, though. Mums are always good.

One more, from Country Living:

Gorgeous centerpiece.

Two thoughts:

1. Dust

2. Kids

I'm envisioning flying pine cones. Dusty, flying pine cones.

I know, I'm such a buzzkill. I'm generally not the type of person to look for reasons not to do something, but I do look for ways to streamline our days. Dusting gourds and rounding up errant feathers is not on my list.

So I'm still on the lookout for easy, inexpensive fall decorating ideas. I'm going to "shop" my own house a little today and swing by the dollar store and thrift stores while I'm out running errands. And then I'm gonna' come home and finally mop that kitchen floor and do some decorating.