Dude. That was awesome.

I got a massage today. For one whole hour I left my phone in the truck, I left my cares behind, and I let Ms. Julia and her amazing hands do their magic.

OK, that sounds kinda' weird. And honestly, even though I had a massage one other time - five or six years ago when Steve got me a gift certificate for Christmas - I was a little intimidated by the whole idea and only sought out a masseuse again because the pain in my neck and lower back were so intense some nights I could hardly sleep. And girlfriend does not do well without her sleep. Also, repeated trips to the chiropractor (whom I adore) were not providing any lasting relief and the last time I saw him he told me - again - that massage would do me a world of good.

So, like any procrastinating busy mama would do, I thought about it for a couple days. And then I hit the Yellow Pages, checked some web sites and made a couple phone calls. I settled on the lady who has been doing this for 20 years. I figured she has seen it all, so she wouldn't bat an eye at anything I was gonna' lay out on that table, no matter how self-conscious I was.

Because really. Two pregnancies, several handfuls of extra pounds hanging on, and a bit of stress-induced wrinkling and flaking does not a bikini body make. And here I would be revealing it to someone I didn't even know.

I wish I could say that my self-consciousness melted away when I walked in that door. I wish I didn't have so many issues with feeling like I somehow don't deserve the luxury of having someone else take care of me - even if I am paying them to do it! But those issues have been a part of me for a long time and they weren't going to go away over a one-hour massage. I will say, though, that Julia made me feel as comfortable as I could about the whole thing. And I really, really did enjoy that massage.

What I was not prepared for was feeling so lousy by the time I got home. It was like someone had opened the floodgates and any junk - emotional, physical, psychological - I had been holding onto for God knows how long came rushing out my pores. My neck and shoulders felt so much better, and my lower back felt like I had had a good workout - sore, but in a good way. But when I got home I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was sleep. So I did.

When I woke from a long nap I felt refreshed. My body was (is) still a little tender, but I feel like I have hit the reset button. I feel ... good. Glad I did something for myself.

Ready to do a little more of it in the future.