We have just a few days left of spring break and I can't say this is one of the more memorable ones. And you know what? That's just fine with me.
Sometimes when your life is all about bracing for the next big shakeup, it feels pretty darn good to embrace a little normalcy. Whatever "normal" happens to be.
This is what we've done this week:
- the kids started spring break early because school was called off the two days prior to the scheduled start due to a snow/ice storm. (This is where all the people who escaped to someplace warm for the week shouted "yaaaay!")
- Our big outing was a visit to an RV show where we stuck our heads in, peeked around, and walked through 30-some travel trailers looking for the perfect fit for Steve to live in over the summer. We're looking to sell our current setup and go with something a little larger (read: more comfortable for Steve and for the rest of us when the kids and I visit).
- Steve and I had a little retail therapy and enjoyed a lunch out together - just the two of us. I picked up some things for the house and he snagged some new speakers for his truck and a new game for the PS3.
- The kids played the aforementioned PS3 until their eyes were crossed and their thumbs blistered. Or was that Steve?
- We have eaten dinners together as a family, Steve and I have both kissed the kids goodnight, we take afternoon naps, bounce ideas off each other, talk about everything and nothing.
This afternoon I was touching up some paint on the walls in our front room and I had several windows open to let some fresh air in. I could hear Steve outside working on his truck with help from his brother. The kids were bouncing around ... in and out of the house, riding bikes, helping dad, playing nicely with each other like I wish they always would ... and it occurred to me how boring it all was.
Nothing special. Nothing newsworthy. Hardly anything new to report, even.
Just ... normal. Boring.
Sometimes boring feels pretty darn good.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Sometimes ...
... it's fun to discover the pictures my children captured when they took off with my camera.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
I don't know what to do with these.
Grandma's spare glasses.
I kept them here at my house in case she misplaced her regular pair. I have no reason to keep them now, and certainly they could be donated to a local service club that collects them. But in the meantime they are here in front of me, reminding me that grandma is not here.
It's been a month since she died. Thirty days. It feels like it was just yesterday.
Since helping to care for grandma kept me pretty busy toward the end of her life, when things settled down after her funeral I jumped right into projects I had been planning to do at home. I figured turning my attention to home and getting back into my own routine would help burn some of that antsy energy I was feeling, and nobody would be here to see me cry while I painted walls or scrubbed floors.
But I have to admit, I didn't do all that much grieving that first few weeks. When a social worker from Hospice called to see how I was doing, it threw me off. I was fine, I told her. Getting back to the usual stuff. She asked me if I had any questions. I didn't. She told me she would be sending me some things in the mail. I thanked her.
When that packet of papers came in the mail, I set it aside. I told myself I knew what they said. And for the most part, I did. But after having a really bizarre dream about grandma the other night I figured there must be something in my psyche needing attention, so I pulled the papers out and had a look-see.
This is what a friend told me and what I've learned to be true: the grief comes at the oddest times. This is what Hospice will tell you and what I have also learned to be true: you can't go around or over grief; you can only go through it. There are no rules about how long it "should" take for a person to go through the grieving process, and everyone grieves in their own way.
So, for the record? In a lot of ways I am fine. But some days are not so good. The pain is worst when I hear of others' losses: the devastation in Japan, some dear friends' loss of a family member this past week, even knowing one of my daughter's classmates is moving away over spring break has my stomach in knots. At times when I would typically be a little emotional anyway I'm now a complete wreck.
But that's OK. That's my "normal" for right now, and for the foreseeable future. And I know there will be more tears, more pain, more dreams and voices and whatever else in the months to come. In a few weeks my parents will be home (again) from Florida and we will start the process of clearing out grandma's house so it can be sold. To say it will be difficult would be a serious understatement. I don't have to help, but I offered to because I think it will help me find some closure.
And that will be just the beginning.
I kept them here at my house in case she misplaced her regular pair. I have no reason to keep them now, and certainly they could be donated to a local service club that collects them. But in the meantime they are here in front of me, reminding me that grandma is not here.
It's been a month since she died. Thirty days. It feels like it was just yesterday.
Since helping to care for grandma kept me pretty busy toward the end of her life, when things settled down after her funeral I jumped right into projects I had been planning to do at home. I figured turning my attention to home and getting back into my own routine would help burn some of that antsy energy I was feeling, and nobody would be here to see me cry while I painted walls or scrubbed floors.
But I have to admit, I didn't do all that much grieving that first few weeks. When a social worker from Hospice called to see how I was doing, it threw me off. I was fine, I told her. Getting back to the usual stuff. She asked me if I had any questions. I didn't. She told me she would be sending me some things in the mail. I thanked her.
When that packet of papers came in the mail, I set it aside. I told myself I knew what they said. And for the most part, I did. But after having a really bizarre dream about grandma the other night I figured there must be something in my psyche needing attention, so I pulled the papers out and had a look-see.
This is what a friend told me and what I've learned to be true: the grief comes at the oddest times. This is what Hospice will tell you and what I have also learned to be true: you can't go around or over grief; you can only go through it. There are no rules about how long it "should" take for a person to go through the grieving process, and everyone grieves in their own way.
So, for the record? In a lot of ways I am fine. But some days are not so good. The pain is worst when I hear of others' losses: the devastation in Japan, some dear friends' loss of a family member this past week, even knowing one of my daughter's classmates is moving away over spring break has my stomach in knots. At times when I would typically be a little emotional anyway I'm now a complete wreck.
But that's OK. That's my "normal" for right now, and for the foreseeable future. And I know there will be more tears, more pain, more dreams and voices and whatever else in the months to come. In a few weeks my parents will be home (again) from Florida and we will start the process of clearing out grandma's house so it can be sold. To say it will be difficult would be a serious understatement. I don't have to help, but I offered to because I think it will help me find some closure.
And that will be just the beginning.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Devotions.
I have a small book of daily devotions that I picked up at church. Each day it offers a Bible verse for the day, an anecdote or explanation from one of several pastors chosen to write in each edition, a short prayer, and a couple of other supporting verses to look up. I like this format. It's not too much for me to absorb while I drink a cup of coffee to wake up in the morning, or after I fall into bed late at night after a busy day. And it helps me work my way through the Bible piece by piece, in small bites, rather than trying to plow through it from cover to cover - something I've tried and failed more than once.
I get something out of these readings every day. (Every day I remember to read them, that is.) Sometimes they make me think; sometimes they cause me to explore something within myself a little further. Yesterday's was particularly helpful in reminding me that everything will be just fine. Even in the midst of a job layoff, we are OK. And I knew this. I knew we would be provided for and for the first time ever I was not at all worried when Steve called to tell me he was coming home.
But there is that tiny little voice in the back of my head that wants me to worry. That voice keeps telling me how tough life could get if this lasts longer than expected. If that voice had its way I wouldn't enjoy this time with Steve at all because I would spend all my time fretting over what isn't happening and what we can't do.
As always, in perfect timing I was reminded of the truth. Monday's devotion was all about walking in faith and trusting that what God promises us will come to fruition. Life will be good. We will live in graciousness and abundance.
I get something out of these readings every day. (Every day I remember to read them, that is.) Sometimes they make me think; sometimes they cause me to explore something within myself a little further. Yesterday's was particularly helpful in reminding me that everything will be just fine. Even in the midst of a job layoff, we are OK. And I knew this. I knew we would be provided for and for the first time ever I was not at all worried when Steve called to tell me he was coming home.
But there is that tiny little voice in the back of my head that wants me to worry. That voice keeps telling me how tough life could get if this lasts longer than expected. If that voice had its way I wouldn't enjoy this time with Steve at all because I would spend all my time fretting over what isn't happening and what we can't do.
As always, in perfect timing I was reminded of the truth. Monday's devotion was all about walking in faith and trusting that what God promises us will come to fruition. Life will be good. We will live in graciousness and abundance.
Psalm 128:2Just what I needed to hear.
You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be happy, and it shall go well with you.
Monday, March 21, 2011
I might just cry.
If we do indeed get the weather we are "supposed" to get over the next couple of days, I might seriously curl up in a ball and cry.
I know it's still early. Sure, spring has technically arrived, at least according to the calendar, but it's late March in Michigan for heaven's sake. I know the possibility for some yucky weather is still in the cards, but dammit! A possible foot of snow? Are you freaking kidding me?!?
Admittedly, I am one of those people who gets cranky when folks complain about the weather. I mean, it is Michigan. The weather can and does change quickly around here. We live here. We know that. But I've been so spoiled by the recent sunshine and warm temperatures, and I have so been looking forward to getting outside and being more active and getting the yard cleaned up. I don't want any more snow!!! And I'm going to pout if we get a foot of it.
Here's hoping the predictions are way off.
I know it's still early. Sure, spring has technically arrived, at least according to the calendar, but it's late March in Michigan for heaven's sake. I know the possibility for some yucky weather is still in the cards, but dammit! A possible foot of snow? Are you freaking kidding me?!?
Admittedly, I am one of those people who gets cranky when folks complain about the weather. I mean, it is Michigan. The weather can and does change quickly around here. We live here. We know that. But I've been so spoiled by the recent sunshine and warm temperatures, and I have so been looking forward to getting outside and being more active and getting the yard cleaned up. I don't want any more snow!!! And I'm going to pout if we get a foot of it.
Here's hoping the predictions are way off.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
As the Pipe Lifers' world turns ...
Today is Steve's last day of work for a while. A few weeks, maybe.
Hopefully only a few weeks.
As the weather warms up here in Michigan and things begin to thaw out, the ground turns to mush and that makes it difficult to get much work done with heavy equipment. Also, local municipalities enforce frost laws which limit speed and weight on roadways that could be damaged as the frost beneath the surface melts away. Another hindrance for moving large equipment around. So as spring approaches we've known it was a possibility Steve would have a little break from work, we just didn't know when it would happen.
I'm excited Steve will be around home for a bit. Financially it's always a struggle - or eventually becomes a struggle - when he is laid off, but as far as our family is concerned it's always a good thing to have us all living under the same roof.
That's how our world is turning today, and that's how we have learned to live - day to day, and sometimes hour by hour.
Hopefully only a few weeks.
As the weather warms up here in Michigan and things begin to thaw out, the ground turns to mush and that makes it difficult to get much work done with heavy equipment. Also, local municipalities enforce frost laws which limit speed and weight on roadways that could be damaged as the frost beneath the surface melts away. Another hindrance for moving large equipment around. So as spring approaches we've known it was a possibility Steve would have a little break from work, we just didn't know when it would happen.
I'm excited Steve will be around home for a bit. Financially it's always a struggle - or eventually becomes a struggle - when he is laid off, but as far as our family is concerned it's always a good thing to have us all living under the same roof.
That's how our world is turning today, and that's how we have learned to live - day to day, and sometimes hour by hour.
Monday, March 14, 2011
On the search for lighting.
We have a lighting issue in this house. The fixtures that were here when we moved in were (and still are) functional, but are cheap and ugly.
Not even the kind of ugly that could pass for retro or vintage. Think 1970's trailer park kind of ugly. And where there isn't something cheap and/or ugly, we have no light.
So I've been on the lookout for lamps and other lighting fixtures. This is not my forte, but I figure it doesn't take much talent to find something better than this:
I have hated this brassy beauty in our dining room since Day 1. I dislike it so much I've blocked it out of my brain; I don't even see it anymore when I look in that direction.
Until some random point when I do see it, and then I become obsessed with replacing it.
But my frugal nature won't allow me to just pop into Lowe's and pay $150 for a new chandelier. So I've been scavenging local thrift shops in hopes of finding someone else's castoff that I can recycle and spiff up for my own home.
The fun thing about shopping thrift stores is you can find all kinds of other cool stuff on your way to finding what you're actually looking for. Not great for hoarders. Great for people like me who have a mental list of items I'm keeping an eye out for.
Last week I stopped at our local Habitat for Humanity ReStore. I did not find any sort of lighting fixture I couldn't live without. I did, however, find a neat old picture frame I'll show you later.
I also took a few minutes looking over a set of lighting fixtures that were cool enough I decided to take pictures in case I figured out some way to use them in my home.
I'm guessing these are leaded glass. They're pretty heavy, and the glass has a detailed pattern. I wonder how much light they give off.
And I wonder if I could think of any other way to use these globes, other than as light fixtures. They're just so cool!
I didn't buy them. But if someone more creative than I (which doesn't take much) can give me any ideas, I'd go back and snatch 'em up if they're still there.
Anybody?
Or am I fooling myself and these are the ugliest things you've ever seen?
Not even the kind of ugly that could pass for retro or vintage. Think 1970's trailer park kind of ugly. And where there isn't something cheap and/or ugly, we have no light.
So I've been on the lookout for lamps and other lighting fixtures. This is not my forte, but I figure it doesn't take much talent to find something better than this:
Until some random point when I do see it, and then I become obsessed with replacing it.
But my frugal nature won't allow me to just pop into Lowe's and pay $150 for a new chandelier. So I've been scavenging local thrift shops in hopes of finding someone else's castoff that I can recycle and spiff up for my own home.
The fun thing about shopping thrift stores is you can find all kinds of other cool stuff on your way to finding what you're actually looking for. Not great for hoarders. Great for people like me who have a mental list of items I'm keeping an eye out for.
Last week I stopped at our local Habitat for Humanity ReStore. I did not find any sort of lighting fixture I couldn't live without. I did, however, find a neat old picture frame I'll show you later.
I also took a few minutes looking over a set of lighting fixtures that were cool enough I decided to take pictures in case I figured out some way to use them in my home.
I'm guessing these are leaded glass. They're pretty heavy, and the glass has a detailed pattern. I wonder how much light they give off.
I didn't buy them. But if someone more creative than I (which doesn't take much) can give me any ideas, I'd go back and snatch 'em up if they're still there.
Anybody?
Or am I fooling myself and these are the ugliest things you've ever seen?
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