Wednesday, December 12, 2012


I find myself looking at the calendar and checking the clock often lately. I'm counting the days until Steve comes home for Christmas and at the same time I feel like if I am not on my way somewhere for one commitment or another I am surely forgetting something. And sometimes that's true. But not today.

This week I have two empty white squares - today and tomorrow - in the middle of dates filled to the borders and beyond of activities and commitments and time suckers. Some days having so much to keep me busy is exhilarating, and even a welcome distraction. Other days it's exhausting.

This morning we woke up late. This after I went to bed last night with a runny nose and a hint of a sore throat, Ladybug woke me from a deep sleep to go outside at 3 a.m. Nothing like a brisk walk around the yard in the wee hours to get the blood flowing. Having these (very active) dogs is like having toddlers in the house again. They're fun. They bring us so much joy. But they make any task take twelve times longer because we have to make sure the dogs have gone out and are taken care of before we leave, or we're tripping over dogs while trying to clean the house, or it's time to feed the dogs, or whatever. And sometimes I have no clue what they want or need because they can't tell me and it seems like I've done all I can do and the answer ... is usually more attention. When I'm on the phone. Or trying to help a kid with homework. Or SLEEPING. Or (and) feeling like poo. And like toddlers sometimes do, they tear up the house, ruin our nice things, and embarrass me in front of my friends. But none of that matters in those moments when you watch them sleep, or they make you laugh at the sheer pleasure they get from playing with a ball or having a good run. And there's that whole unconditional love thing.

Speaking of unconditional love, I do love my children (the human variety) so very much, but gosh will I be glad when Sam is back on two good legs. I am soooo tired of carrying stuff for him. These last five weeks have been slightly reminiscent of the days when my kids were still tiny and they - and all their gear - had to be carried everywhere. (Is there a pattern here?) I take him to the doctor on Monday to have his cast taken off. And then I'm gonna' party like it's 1999.

Not really. But I might have a glass of wine or two to celebrate.

Oh, the things we take for granted sometimes. Like being able to walk on our own. And being able to sleep through the night.

Early bedtime tonight to try to ward off this cold. Four days until Sam's cast comes off. Ten days until daddy comes home. And I'm counting every one.

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