I haven't posted in a few days because I have been either too busy, too tired, too distracted, or because I simply have so much buzzing around in my head it's been too hard to choose one thing to write about. I have a lot to accomplish today and it's one of those mornings that I feel pulled in 100 different directions, but I am forcing myself to take a few minutes for me and do something I love. So here I am.
Do you ever feel like the voices are going to make you crazy? The voices of your children, your coworkers, your extended family, your doctor, your best friend, your pets even, but sometimes worst of all your own voice inside your head? They can all be overwhelming, and they can distract us from what is really important. I am certainly guilty of allowing that to happen.
So today I just want to share this with you ...
One of the lessons we read at church this past Sunday stuck with me more than usual. It's been floating around in the back of my head since then, one of those things where you think "this is gonna' come in handy at some point in the near future so I should remember it."
From Colossians, Chapter 1:
May you be strong with all the strength that comes from His glorious power, and may you be prepared to endure everything with patience, while joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has enabled you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the light. He has rescued us from the power of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.
Well that about covers it, doesn't it? There have been many days recently that I have felt like a failure as a mother, but by God I have had many awesome moments with my children, too, and we have been able to eek out at least a little bit of goodness in each day. We have a long road ahead of us, but we will persevere. I am thankful for the kind of strength and patience only God can provide.
So I've been kicking that Bible passage around for a few days, particularly this morning as I gritted my teeth trying not to yell at the kid who took a 20-minute shower and the kid who was goofing around still in pajamas while the clock tick-tocked away.
I was still running through the mental list of Things To Do when I came back from putting the kids on the school bus. The anxiety was creeping in. I walked into the front room to turn the computer on and the curtains were glowing pink. I opened them to be greeted with this:
Hear that? "Good morning, Jen. Don't worry. It's going to be a wonderful day. You are blessed."
Yeah, I didn't hear it, either.
I sat down at the computer, hit my bookmark for pandora.com and thought "I know. I can fix this. I'll play some Christmas music and I'll feel better in no time."
I had forgotten a) which of my favorite music stations I had left it on, and b) how loudly I left the speakers turned up last time.
This is the song that came blasting out at me:
I'm a little embarrassed to say how many times I've replayed this song this morning.
The voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
This is what one of my friends would call God's way of bonking me on the forehead in the style of a V8 moment. And like the child that I am, I sometimes need to hear something more than once for it to sink in.
Today I choose to listen to the only voice that matters. And I choose to believe what God's voice is telling me: I am OK. It will all work out. Our kids will do just fine in this world, maybe because of us, maybe in spite of us. I am loved. I am blessed. And you know what? It's not about ME anyway. It's about Him.